Shake those beads folks - when it rains it pours

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by rlsnights, Oct 20, 2009.

  1. rlsnights

    rlsnights New Member

    So difficult child 2's mood swings have been out of sight the past 2 weeks. Called the cops twice last week because he was so aggressive. Should have hospitalized him but didn't - local psychiatric hospital doesn't deal with aggressive BiPolar (BP) kids well - labels them ODD and ships them home ASAP with a lecture on how you are bad parent - regardless of the community psychiatrists input. psychiatric hospital is truly last resort.

    So he was home from school yesterday and today but I am planning on sending him back tomorrow. He's much better than last Friday when he was beating on the security door with a 3' length of PVC pipe trying to get at me to beat me up after I told him he couldn't play video games. MANIC - oh yeah. That's why, outside of school hours, I am not leaving him alone at all. He's so unstable it's scary.

    My sister calls me just now to let me know my 84 yo mom is in the hospital following a stroke yesterday. So far things are looking good, my sister hastened to reassure me, but mom will be in the hospital for at least 2 more days and maybe longer. Depends on the findings of an MRI they did tonight and whether she can walk OK since the stroke affected her gait.

    My mom and sister live in So. California and I live in No. Cal. My mom is at a hospital about 80 miles from where they live because they were out of town over on the coast when it happened. My sister (single but has many serious health problems) sounded stressed and briefly cried during our call. She was trying to talk to me on her bluetooth while she drove to a local motel. She got lost and I told her to call me back later.

    Unless my mom is dying I cannot go down there and spell my sister or be with my mom right now. I can't decide whether to tell my sister about difficult child 2 or not - I'm afraid it will just stress her more and she can get really sick really fast. She just got off 4 months of TPN because her gut was such a mess she was starving on 4,000 calories a day. She still has a PICC line in for fluids and IV supplementation. But if I don't tell her, I'm worried that she'll get upset because I don't offer to come down. Neither of them are in good shape and both need me there. And if I don't tell her and then we have to send difficult child 2 to psychiatric hospital she's likely to find out and then...ugh. It's a tangled mess in my head.

    Hopefully things will be better all around tomorrow.

    Positive vibes for all of us would be really welcome.

    Last edited: Oct 20, 2009
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Prayers and hugs going out.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Awwwwwww, hope both mom and difficult child are better soon. Hugs and prayers.
  4. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Awww (((Hugs))) Beads rattling here strongly for you, your sister and your poor mom.

    I completely understand you not wanting to overwhelm your sister with news of your difficult child. However, if she's going to be feeling hurt/pain because she wonders why you aren't heading to her and your mom to offer some help, perhaps you can "lightly" word the way you do fill her in that there are things up with difficult child. Maybe telling her there is some stuff going down with difficult child, and if it weren't for that, of course you'd be there to help. If she tries for details, a loving "sis, you've got so much on your plate and I love you and I think maybe when things settle down with you and mom would be a better time for us to talk about difficult child's issues. For now, I want you to concentrate on yourself because you're important to me and I can talk about difficult child stuff with his docs etc".

    Then she'll know somethings up, understand why you can't be with her and your mom, without overloading her with worries??

    So sorry it is pouring buckets. I hope a shining light beams down to you all and with it, some relief!
  5. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I hope everything is okay with your mom.

    Do you have a crisis team? Have them on speed dial with phone attached to your hip until you can get difficult child 2 stable. Don't hesitate to call 911 if he becomes aggressive again.
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending prayers and positive healing vibes to you all. You for strength and to help you find the right words; Your son, that he settles down; your sister that her health doesn't become worse; and your mom, that she's up and feeling better real soon. I'm so sorry that you're so overwhelmed.

    I agree that finding the right words to explain your absense to your sister would be helpful. It would be best if she learned of things with your difficult child to explain why you're not there rather than later from some other source. Sometimes, you just can't help but say it like it is and hope for the best. Hugs~