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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 47298" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I can't say I feel shame, but I do feel horrendous guilt. I don't know what more I could have done but some how, some way, I couldn't convince my child I loved her enough. Maybe I was fortunate that she was adopted and I have a built-in excuse. The damage was done before she became mine. So, when she does something unacceptable to society I just point to her past and cry for her. I think this has made the serenity prayer useless to me as a tool for her behavior today. I've always accepted that there were aspects of her personality and behavior that I had no way to guide nor help.</p><p></p><p>Having said that, I can't help but believe that had I taken more time to be there for her and less time to have a career that maybe, just maybe, she'd be happier today, have better self-esteem, understand that there is nothing more important to me than her. The total rejection of my love is painful. To think that I caused this rejection is even more painful. So, no shame, but a lot of guilt.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 47298, member: 3626"] I can't say I feel shame, but I do feel horrendous guilt. I don't know what more I could have done but some how, some way, I couldn't convince my child I loved her enough. Maybe I was fortunate that she was adopted and I have a built-in excuse. The damage was done before she became mine. So, when she does something unacceptable to society I just point to her past and cry for her. I think this has made the serenity prayer useless to me as a tool for her behavior today. I've always accepted that there were aspects of her personality and behavior that I had no way to guide nor help. Having said that, I can't help but believe that had I taken more time to be there for her and less time to have a career that maybe, just maybe, she'd be happier today, have better self-esteem, understand that there is nothing more important to me than her. The total rejection of my love is painful. To think that I caused this rejection is even more painful. So, no shame, but a lot of guilt. [/QUOTE]
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