She got high tonight.....She has a new boyfriend

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by bran155, Aug 22, 2008.

  1. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Well, all is still pretty calm on the home front. My daughter has been doing really well, she has been calm, happy and collected. Her mood is stable and there hasn't really been any incidents. She has been home from the hospital going on 2 weeks. We had court today, that went well. She didn't get remanded, she got a 6 month extension on her aftercare services. She was very happy about that.

    She has been seeing this really great guy for about a week. HE HAS A JOB!!! And he took an entrance exam to a local college the other day. I love this guy. He gives my difficult child encouragement to do well and move forward with her life. He tells her things like: "You have to surround yourself with people who believe in you", he tells her fighting isn't worth it, that it takes a stronger mind to walk away from a fight then to throw a punch. He tells her to behave like a lady and she will get much more respect. I mean, am I dreaming or what??? I could have hand picked this guy myself. He dresses with the baggy pants, braids in his hair, looks like the typical ghetto boy, but looks are deceiving. He is intelligent and a perfect gentleman. (so far anyway)

    My daughter will no doubt ruin this for herself shortly. She does and says inappropriate things around him. She talks about other boys, she takes calls from other boys and is very loud and conspicuous. She wants to constantly hang out in the streets and he doesn't. I can really see the Borderline in her when she is with him. Shockingly, she actually was truthful with him about her being in the hospital and on medication. That doesn't seem to bother him a bit. She must be comfortable around him as she never reveals that side of her to anyone. I was thinking of explaining to him, a little bit about why she acts the way she does sometimes. But, is that a bit intrusive and out of line? I mean I can't go around telling everyone she is contact with, her issues. I just don't want to see her mess this one up. This guy is a keeper!!! What do you think?? Leave it alone and mind my business - right?

    On to the drugs.......She came home tonight asking for food at 11 pm. Right then and there I knew she had the munchies. I asked her if she was high and she was honest and said yes. I wasn't happy, but what can I do? I will tell her sw and her therapist at partial. She says she is only going to smoke once in a while. NOT!!! In a week she'll be getting high daily. I worry about how that affects her medication. Of course she isn't concerned one bit. I have given her the lecture on smoking weed and drinking a gizillion times!!!

    Other than tonights munchie attack I really can't complain. I am holding my breath and waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wish that I could believe that the chaos is over, but I know better. It's only a matter of time before she starts to lose it. How sad, I am so jaded at this point that I can only see the glass as half empty. Maybe by some miracle I am wrong. Well.......time will tell - right?

    Thanks for listening. I hope everyone is doing well. :)
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    You are right to worry about the effects of the drugs on her medication. Pot especially, that stuff stays in your system a long looong time. Sadly, if it is a true addiction, you can read her the riot act until you are blue in the face, but until SHE is ready to quit, your words will go in one ear and out the other.

    It does sound like she is on a self-sabotage mission. Her new boyfriend sounds like a dream come true. I hope and pray that he sticks with her long enough to convince her that she is worth not harming her own body with the booze and dope.

    One of the other moms on the board likes to use the term "cautiously optimistic", as in enjoy the level of peace you have in the house, really let yourself absorb it, but keep your guard up and be ready for it to change...

    Heartfelt prayers.
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Wow, that sounds like the boyfriend from heaven! So cool! I hope they stay together, for her sake. Maybe he's a rescuer personality?
    I'm so sorry she's still doing pot (or whatever they call it now). It's not good at all for depression. ARrrrgh. I feel your pain.
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Who did she smoke with?
  5. I'm sorry. The new boyfriend sounds great! I agree though on the drugs - she won't be able to do just once in a while. It doesn't take them long to be right back to where they were before if not worse. I went through this with my husband in the years before he died and it wasn't with pot.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree the new boyfriend sounds wonderful. It's really too bad about her getting high. I know that has to be a huge worry. Hugs.
  7. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Thank you guys once again for all of your support. :)

    Busywend, I am not sure who she got high with, it could be a number of people as she knows every savory character in our city!!!

    The boyfriend is a dream. I am constantly asking her if everything is going okay with him and if she still likes him. If I don't stop I will ruin this myself. I have a feeling the more I let her know I like him the less she will like him. So I keep reminding myself to mind my own business!!!

    He has even gotten her to dress better. She usually lets everything hang out, she looks like a hooker half the time!!! Today my sister took her and her boyfriend to a clothing store and bought her a cute outfit and a pair of flats. It's age appropriately sexy (if that makes any sense at all - duh) yet classy. The boyfriend is so impressed and beaming with pride. It is absolutely adorable. I am planning the wedding already!!! lol

    Thanks again. I will let you know if she has another munchie attack tonight. God bless. :)
  8. bran155

    bran155 Guest