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She stole $13,000
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 704250" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Well, I have a different viewpoint than others, which is not to say I would minimize the situation.This is very common in my own culture where women in my own family siphoned off money to have "their own" money. And then these mothers have joint accounts with their daughters, sometimes, like this.</p><p></p><p>I had a friend who was holding 10,000 dollars in 1977. She "borrowed" it to invest in stock options, and lost it all. So, you see, I have seen this before, so it does not seem all that unique to me.</p><p></p><p>Which is not to say it is not problematic behavior.</p><p></p><p>Also, compulsive behavior like you describe-with money-is quite common; shopping, inability to face money issues, etc</p><p>is very common, too. That your girlfriend is seeking therapy is to her credit.</p><p>I think if you can think of this as supporting her, sharing her burden, you might find it easier to do.</p><p></p><p>If you want an intimate relationship, sometimes you have to talk about hard stuff-go to difficult places with somebody, where there is pain and shame and maybe conflict. You see this in your work every day. That is what family is about, really. The people who will go with you, stay with you--through bad and good.</p><p>Yes. This worries me too.</p><p></p><p>With my friend of long ago, she worked and so did her husband. I think she just put all the money she earned towards repaying the "borrowed/stolen" money and the mother never knew. The mother does not need to know if the money is quickly replaced, I do not think.</p><p></p><p>I think replacing the stolen money is more important than the masters degree, which can always be resumed. Personally, I think that. Is there a way that you would be in the position of helping her accelerate the replacement of the money? If both of you were paying towards the sum, it might be done quickly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 704250, member: 18958"] Well, I have a different viewpoint than others, which is not to say I would minimize the situation.This is very common in my own culture where women in my own family siphoned off money to have "their own" money. And then these mothers have joint accounts with their daughters, sometimes, like this. I had a friend who was holding 10,000 dollars in 1977. She "borrowed" it to invest in stock options, and lost it all. So, you see, I have seen this before, so it does not seem all that unique to me. Which is not to say it is not problematic behavior. Also, compulsive behavior like you describe-with money-is quite common; shopping, inability to face money issues, etc is very common, too. That your girlfriend is seeking therapy is to her credit. I think if you can think of this as supporting her, sharing her burden, you might find it easier to do. If you want an intimate relationship, sometimes you have to talk about hard stuff-go to difficult places with somebody, where there is pain and shame and maybe conflict. You see this in your work every day. That is what family is about, really. The people who will go with you, stay with you--through bad and good. Yes. This worries me too. With my friend of long ago, she worked and so did her husband. I think she just put all the money she earned towards repaying the "borrowed/stolen" money and the mother never knew. The mother does not need to know if the money is quickly replaced, I do not think. I think replacing the stolen money is more important than the masters degree, which can always be resumed. Personally, I think that. Is there a way that you would be in the position of helping her accelerate the replacement of the money? If both of you were paying towards the sum, it might be done quickly. [/QUOTE]
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She stole $13,000
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