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She stole $13,000
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 704252" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>The big problem I see is the the Mom ASKED for the money from the daughter. The daughter cannot get out of discussing this, and really should come clean with the entire situation. If you discovered it accidentally but the mom hadn't asked about the money, I would encourage the daughter to start putting the money back immediately, but to handle it her way. In this case, coming clean is going to HAVE to happen. Lies and omissions are going to make things worse, as are attempts to whitewash the situation as borrowing or whatever other nonsense that is going through her mind. </p><p></p><p>I would bet that your girlfriend, if she has any conscience, is tearing herself up inside, panicking and thinking that everyone is going to hate her and throw her out of the entire family/relationship. Talking about it all gets that out and lets you see that while anger is there, and so are consequences, love is still there. Trust will take time to earn back, but it possible. But if you don't talk it out, some of that awful feeling is going to be there for a long time. Being open and honest is truly the best way to handle this. Maybe do it with her therapist to mediate things, if her mother will go to the session (of course daughter should pay for the session, not mother).</p><p></p><p>My thought of having you there as she talks to her mother was not to judge her but as moral support if she wanted it and if you wanted to provide it. My suggestion about making sure you were clear for your job was for simple self protection, because that should be your first priority. You don't want to be implicated in her crimes. Sadly, since she did not take the money all at one time, this would possibly be considered more than one crime, a series of crimes, which could be very serious. It is also likely felony level. THIS is why I suggested making sure that YOU are clear, that she could not implicate you in some way, because this would destroy your life in many ways, especially your career. </p><p></p><p>I am glad she is getting help. It is important. I realize the holidays are coming up and gifts are important. I would like to suggest one that would give her a different way of looking at money and consumer possessions. It might not be to her liking, but it might be interesting. It can be found used on amazon. The book is "The Complete Tightwad Gazette" by Amy Dacyczyan. I give used copies for gifts to good friends often. It not only has ideas and recipes for living cheaply, it shows how to figure out which of several options is cheaper, and which credit option is best and how long it takes to actually pay off credit if you use it. I DO give used items as gifts, especially to my tightwad friends, as long as they are in good shape, because it is about the gift and not the price. This book has amazing lessons in common sense told in plain language. This would be a good tool if she would use it. You also might enjoy it. </p><p></p><p>I do hope this all works out for her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 704252, member: 1233"] The big problem I see is the the Mom ASKED for the money from the daughter. The daughter cannot get out of discussing this, and really should come clean with the entire situation. If you discovered it accidentally but the mom hadn't asked about the money, I would encourage the daughter to start putting the money back immediately, but to handle it her way. In this case, coming clean is going to HAVE to happen. Lies and omissions are going to make things worse, as are attempts to whitewash the situation as borrowing or whatever other nonsense that is going through her mind. I would bet that your girlfriend, if she has any conscience, is tearing herself up inside, panicking and thinking that everyone is going to hate her and throw her out of the entire family/relationship. Talking about it all gets that out and lets you see that while anger is there, and so are consequences, love is still there. Trust will take time to earn back, but it possible. But if you don't talk it out, some of that awful feeling is going to be there for a long time. Being open and honest is truly the best way to handle this. Maybe do it with her therapist to mediate things, if her mother will go to the session (of course daughter should pay for the session, not mother). My thought of having you there as she talks to her mother was not to judge her but as moral support if she wanted it and if you wanted to provide it. My suggestion about making sure you were clear for your job was for simple self protection, because that should be your first priority. You don't want to be implicated in her crimes. Sadly, since she did not take the money all at one time, this would possibly be considered more than one crime, a series of crimes, which could be very serious. It is also likely felony level. THIS is why I suggested making sure that YOU are clear, that she could not implicate you in some way, because this would destroy your life in many ways, especially your career. I am glad she is getting help. It is important. I realize the holidays are coming up and gifts are important. I would like to suggest one that would give her a different way of looking at money and consumer possessions. It might not be to her liking, but it might be interesting. It can be found used on amazon. The book is "The Complete Tightwad Gazette" by Amy Dacyczyan. I give used copies for gifts to good friends often. It not only has ideas and recipes for living cheaply, it shows how to figure out which of several options is cheaper, and which credit option is best and how long it takes to actually pay off credit if you use it. I DO give used items as gifts, especially to my tightwad friends, as long as they are in good shape, because it is about the gift and not the price. This book has amazing lessons in common sense told in plain language. This would be a good tool if she would use it. You also might enjoy it. I do hope this all works out for her. [/QUOTE]
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She stole $13,000
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