She won't go home! Any guesses?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by meowbunny, Dec 27, 2008.

  1. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Okay, I asked her to come last Tuesday so that we could do some Xmas prep, she could use the car for shopping and stuff and then spend Christmas together. She works double shifts on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The normal routine is she takes her stuff to work with her Friday or picks it up after work and then goes back to her apartment.

    She's still HERE!!!! I have no idea why. She tells me she's staying tonight, again. I told her I wouldn't be here tomorrow morning because I have to clean a house for renters and I really don't like her taking the car unless I know it is coming "home" to spend the night here.

    On top of that, I do need her help on Tuesday. She has to wait at two houses for repair people while I help a client pack and clean. I have told her flat out that she won't be here New Year's Eve. I have plans.

    I know they haven't paid the rent for December but, supposedly, the manager of the complex knows what is going on and is trying to work with them about it. I suggested they just talk to them about getting out of the lease since it ends in March, anyway. Of course, my child doesn't like that idea and would rather tell them they will pay December and January with their tax returns. I really had to not laugh at that idea -- Applebee's was purchased by another company. Supposedly the old owners sent out W2s last August. Of course, neither she nor her roomie got it. They're supposed to write a letter to get the missing W2's. Something tells me they won't be getting any return in January.

    This really is strange, though. For the life of me, I can't figure out why she won't go back to her apartment. So far as I know, all is good between her and her roomie. They're broke but that's nothing new for them. They haven't been evicted yet. She hasn't moved in here yet. So, why in heck am I stuck with her NOW? Any ideas cause I'm truly at a loss.
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Could it be that she just loves your company----LOL!!!
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Well, if all that she says is true (no eviction yet, landlord working with them, etc.) my guess is that if she stays at your house and doesn't go's not real and she doesn't have to think about it or deal with it. You know...that whole "if I don't deal with it, it will go away" thing.

    I would consider just loading her stuff in the car and taking her home.
  4. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    How far away does she live? Ask her how long she is staying- if she lives far away, invite her to stay until Tuesday evening, after she helps you then drive her home. Maybe she doesn't live there anymore, or ask her what's going on. -Alyssa
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I think the if I don't deal with it, it will go away is probably the right answer. Thanks!

    As to taking her and her stuff home, I don't want to. I want her to go but I don't want to go near her place. The speed bumps there just kill my car. Low-slung sports cars and speed bumps do not mix.

    She just fouls up my schedule since I have to worry about her getting to work from here. It works okay if she's staying the night, then she can take the car or golf cart but if she plans to go home from work, we have to do a dance to get the vehicle home. Plus, I hate having to be quiet in the morning. It's really not her fault she has to work til midnight and naturally needs 9 hours sleep but, for now, it is my home and I don't want to share it with her before I have to. Know what I mean??

    Even if she follows every rule 100% of the time when she moves back in, I'm not going to be a happy camper. I just don't want to live with someone, let alone my legally adult child.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I think Stang hit it on the head. My husband does the same sort of stuff. Drives me insane and he can get us into some awful messes if I don't keep after him.

  7. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    I'd flat out ask her "Can you tell my why you're not going back to your apartment?"

    But, I tend to be a sort of in your face kind of person. :)
  8. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I tried that approach and got the snarly, "Can't I just want to be with you?"
  9. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    When they answer a question with a question then you REALLY know they're dodging something.

  10. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    I understand completely. Actually our son lost his job on christmas eve and the people he was living with - he got in an altercation with - supposedly and packed all his clothes and came home - he has been sober - but it has only been for 4 days! I feel the same way - it cramps my style with him here - it is like I just want to live my life without all this mess - he went to his boss and talked tohim and his boss said to come back in 30 days on a different path - I just dont know how long we can stand it - it is just him being here - not even messed up that is horrible.