that she can live with our rules and will abide by them. She said she thought about everything we said about 'biting off more than she can chew, living on a dime, no home, no bed, no car, etc.,' and has decided that she doesn't want to leave home, she is not ready and she's scared. Well, now, this creates a *small* dilemma for ME (not H, of course, as he is thrilled and thinks he's 'reached' her, lol). Last night when I asked her what her intentions were and when her move date was she responded: "I'm not moving out. I changed my mind because I thought about everything you and H said last night". I have to admit, I missed a beat and then said, "I think we need to clarify something. When you told me that you wanted to move out and I told you to think long and hard about how you're going to live, where, with what money, the car expenses, etc., I wasn't begging you to stay. I think you may be under the assumption that we're begging you to stay here and that you're doing us some sort of favor by not moving out. I am afraid that it's not about YOU, difficult child. I'm more concerned about OUR home being undisturbed by your drama and attitude. I was not heartbroken by your choice to leave because I am tired of this and I want peace in our home. WE are doing YOU the favor by allowing you to live here. And you saying that you're staying does not assure me in any way that you're capable of staying here and abiding by our house rules. Before you respond to me, think about that.We will talk again tomorrow" (tomorrow is today). So this morning H and I talked it over breakfast at the local diner and of course, he is thrilled. I told him that I was not so thrilled because, in my opinion, allowing her to stay will only prolong the inevitable - she will have that few weeks honeymoon period of good/decent behavior and then she will start in again with her BS. So, while H agreed that I was probably correct, we did come to a compromise. Part one of the compromise is that H is getting difficult child her own insurance today so she can be removed from ours. H will pay for the first 3 months and by then difficult child should be established in her job and then take over the payments. If she fails to do so, she obviously loses her car (or if she stupidly drives it without ins and gets caught, which she will, she will be the one in trouble, not us). Part two of the compromise is that at the 3 month mark, if she hasn't breached any of the rules that she's agreed to, we will revisit her choice to move out on a more realistic level. She will *hopefully* have an idea if her job is a good fit and will become FT as opposed to PT and she can figure out what her income is and learn how to budget her money. We all know that the fact is she's not ready to be out on her own, but she isn't thrilled about making compromises to live at home. So, we decided to give her a time limit...a due date of sorts. Within the next 3 months she will have the opportunity to get herself better organized for moving out in a reasonable fashion at a reasonable date into a reasonable situation. This is kind of what she was saying last night when she said she didn't want to move out and that she wasn't ready. She commented that she wanted to make sure when she moved out that she wasn't just crashing on a friends couch and annoying her friend's family (which leads me to believe that her friend offered difficult child her couch without running it by her mom first!). So, we're going to sit with difficult child this afternoon and go over all this with her and see what her response is. She officially starts her bew job at Dicks on Monday. I am mostly okay with H & my compromise. I'm still iffy about my feelings over difficult child staying here (other than I love her, of course), but I do agree that a stronger start would be best. However, I am more sure that she needs to fall flat on her @ss in order to learn the truth of her poor choices. H, on the other hand, feels she needs to take "baby steps" (will she though?). I am trying to be positive and hopeful that H is on to something with the 3-month plan. I suppose that I am appeasing H moreso than difficult child in this scenario. It's so ironic - I wonder if difficult child realizes that because of H (her stepdad whom she has resented the past few years) she may get this millionth chance. The guy she's been so mean to and who loves her so much is the only reason she's still here. Wowow. So. I don't really know what else to say, except I feel like a $ucker. Who knows, maybe this time.....stranger things have happened, right? I know, $ucker. H really wants me to go along with this.