Shes back in the picture

[sooooo tired]

Well after 5 years of no contact my oldest reached out to her sister. I have had no contact yet. I have to be very cautious about this.
My grandson is 9 and I have missed him terribly.
When my daughter goes to see her he begs to see me. We were always very close. My daughter went to her home for a visit. She has been in the same home for 3 years she fought for sole custody of her son.
He is actually going to a Christian school. She is cleaning houses for income. She has let herself go physically.
She has no teeth, has dentures but won't wear them. She says she has no desire for a man in her life, which is a good thing. It just hurts so bad when I see pictures of her from her 20s and early 30s..she was a beautiful girl. She is not on drugs and seems to be taking good care of my grandson. I would love to have my grandson back in my life
But I am very leery about
Taking any steps back into this situation.

 

[Copabanana]

Hello ST

Of course you are being cautious, and feeling trepidation. That your daughter seems to be taking responsible steps for herself and family is a very good thing. All of us have great losses in our lives, whether or not we acknowledge them. Perhaps your daughter had to diminish her beauty in order to find deeper parts of herself and of life and to live more deeply. Maybe you can find strength from her example and to find the tools that allow you to express and be open to love, in a safe way.

 

[Acacia]

There's a lot to celebrate here. There's a 12 step saying that expectations are just pre-meditated resentments. She will never be just like you.
I would be so thankful if my troubled daughter made the progress your daughter has. I haven't seen my grandchildren in five years.
You can feel whatever thoughts, advice, criticisms that come up, but don't say them. Put them on paper, find a support group, etc. Keep posting.