She's back in the psychiatric hospital

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Big Bad Kitty, Dec 8, 2009.

  1. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    So I haven't even been able to be on here for the past week or so because my computer contracted a rogue virus, and then the point where I could not even fire it up. Had to crash the hard drive. Why did this happen? Not sure, but it could be because Tink was surfing for porn. She is EIGHT.

    She has been manic since her discharge a month ago, I'm pretty sure her medications are contributing. She went back in the hospital last Wednesday night. She has been taken off the stims and seems finally to be levelling out.

    Her father (and Lord knows I would be banned from this site forever if I put in the adjectives I would like to describe him) is also a big part of her despair. When she was in the psychiatric hospital last time, he was all concerned and calling her all the time and showing up to her family therapy sessions. Of course he was on work release at the time. He was released to house arrest 3 days after she was discharged. Instead of parolling to his mother's house, like he said he was, he went back to Sparkle Fanny's house. He was there for 2 days, had not called her, and when I finally called him, he answered with an attitude, all defensive.

    Up until she went back in, he only called her if she called him first. He has not seen her. And he has not called her once since she went back in.

    He never told Sparkle Fanny that he was visiting Tink from the work release center. He didn't want her to be upset that he was with me. So when he first parolled to her place, I told her that he had been visiting Tink. She put her leash back on him and said he could only see her at her house.

    Then she accused me of being a "ho" and trying to take her man away. Like I'd want him. After going back and forth with her (something I am not proud of) and asking why he has not bothered with Tink (or even his boys!) she told me to "just tell all his kids that he died".

    If at any point I had considered letting Tink see him at her place, that changed immediately after she said that. She is a friggin lunatic.

    The day after Tink went back in, he told me that he was going to talk to his PO about being able to go see Tink. With Sparkle Fanny. I told him that he was not allowed there unless I was there, and that SF was not allowed near her at all, doctor's orders. So...he has not even called me to see how she is. She has been back in for almost a week. can a human being just ignore his child like that.
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I'm thinking all sorts of adjectives :grrr:
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    BBK, I'm sorry Tink had to go back in, but from the sound of things, pulling the stimulant was a wise move. We've had the same problems with that drug with my difficult child 2 and he can no longer tolerate it.

    As for the pond scum drama, well all I can do is send some hugs your way and say that it's a shame but perhaps better for Tink in the long run if she isn't around this kind of person. If her daddy has even an ounce of sense in his head (which I think we're all beginning to doubt) he'll do right by her and his boys but for now he is too easily manipulated by pond scum.

    Hope your little girl can come home soon -- sounds like it might not be too long a stay in there this time.

  4. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    ooh, I hope the stay is good for Tink.
    And as far as the rest, i send you the strenght to get through it!
  5. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Oh sorry about the Hugs. Hopefully Tink gets stablized and does much better this time around. I've been thinking of you two....I keep seeing Tinkerbell stuff in the stores everywhere!
  6. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hugs, big kitty.

    As I was reading your post, I was thinking about my own situation with DEX. The last time he actually put forth effort to see wee difficult child was mother's day 2003. Currently, his whack-job girlfriend wants wee difficult child - she has visions of a "just add water" instant oatmeal family... And you're LIVING exactly why I will NOT allow that to happen...I think the kids are better off when their johnny-come-lately father just stays away.

    Give yourself a Tink a hug. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this stuff.
  7. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Thank you all, once again, for your unwavering love and support.

    Tomorrow Tink turns 9. We are going to try to make it a special day for her. Her goal is to be out by Christmas...
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhh, poor thing!
    I agree, that the stims should go.
    Pooh on Dear Old Dad.
  9. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I was just going to PM you today... weird vibe.

    Because Tink is a Sag. She will get through this, I am not the astrologer kind of gal, but I am a Sag as well and I had a Dad that sounds a lot like ol' Pond Scum.

    I don't know why our kids have to suffer with this chaos in their heads. It is so heart breaking.
    K has been a lot more hyper-sexual as well and it is just plain scary. It is impossible to explain to any one who doesn't have a kid like this.
    I hate feeling like I don't know if I want to smack it out of her or hug it out of her, knowing neither will work.

    I hate that Tink is back in, I can only wish and hope that this round of medication changes starts to help with some stabilization.
    We are doing the same long drawn out process,this merry-go-round aint so fun.
    Is your family supporting you at all right now?
    How is Copper?
    I am thinking lots of evil thoughts for Ms. SF...
  10. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    BBK, I'm so sorry that Tink is back in psychiatric hospital and that her dad is being such a bleepity bleep bleep.

    I agree that removing the stims is a wise move.

    I have to say, having grown up with a dad who was only around when it was convenient for him...I wish he just never came around. My BFF since I was 11 had the same kind of dad, and she says the same thing. It only made it harder. That's why with difficult child's dad, I'm not angry at him for not being around. He would only be around here and there, which is more painful - like a slap in the face every few months - and he's not someone I want her around anyway.

    by the way, neither BFF nor I have anything to do with our father's now.

    And SF - there are no words for her. Words are too good for her.

  11. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    BBK, many hugs to you and Tink.

    I'm sorry that she's back in the psychiatric hospital. I hope that the medication change does good things for her.

    And I'm so sorry that Tink's father is being such a jerk. As for SF, the board censors would get me if I said what I'm thinking.

  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I am so sorry. The holidays are the worst for our kids.
    You know how I feel about these dads. Matt has lived his life with one exactly like Tinks. I wish I could say it gets better, but not yet. At some point I am hoping. Well, I should say Matt is seeing more of the light - but I have to give him another 10 years.
    So what does the phosph say about her being back in? Surely they get the point that the medications are not what is their plan?
    Many, many hugs!
  13. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Happy Birthday to Tink! She shares her birthday with my difficult child 2 :D
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Happy Birthday Tink!!!

    BBK, I am so sorry that Tink is so sick she must be in the psychiatric hospital. I am glad that you have a psychiatric hospital to help though. I pray that Tink can be helped so that she has far fewer problems in the future.

    As for her father, he is so many things. All bad. I don't know how he can ignore her, esp after building her up so much. Chances are all the visits the last time he was in were so he could impress the PO so he could get more relaxed rules. I hate that, but it probably is what it is.

    I would happily strangle him. I bet he went back to SF because she would take him. Living on his own requires more problem solving and work than he wants to do.

    SF is about as mentally ill as you can get, thinking you want to take him back!! Her behavior does point to a problem, though. I think not allowing Tink over there is excellent.

    My blood froze when I read that SF told you to tell the kids that their Daddy is dead.

    She is vicious, cruel and conniving. Be very careful around her. Put NOTHING past her.

    So sorry Tink is sick and your computer was too.


  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Happy birthday and many hugs for Tink.

    Miss Kt's father (aka Useless Boy) is the same way. I hate the hurt these men cause our kids. It's just not right.
  16. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

  17. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Happy Birthday Tink!
  18. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    BBK, I'm sending lots of hugs to both you and Tink right now. I wish dear old dad would straighten up but like Heather said might be best if he just fades away. Onyxx still has problems and issues but honestly they're not aimed at us anymore, now that she's figured out BM. Poor Tink. Poor YOU!

    About her being a Sag - yes, ALL of us Sags are fighters and survivors. It's that whole shoot-an-arrow-in-their-posterior thing! Doesn't make it any easier though. Just gives us hope.
  19. Star*

    Star* call 911

    So we've learned a lot from this go-round haven't we? Remember when I told you it was sad that we pay such a high price to be THIS educated? This is what I meant. It's a good thing and a bad thing to be this smart. The bad thing is obvious - that you or Tink have to live through psychopathic SF and her rhetoric at all, the good thing? You'll never ever suffer through it again as long as you live. Once is more than enough.

    Dudes Daddy told him I was dead. Lovely. So did Gma. Small wonder why I nearly passed out when he named the puppy after his dearly departed Gma. The flippin' nerve. I could be the president of overcomers anonymous. You would make a lovely VP. :tongue: - If you don't find some humor somewhere Kitteh you will. esplode.....yes - eSplode. eXplode is for divorce. as in ex.

    You want to know how someone can be so cruel to a child? I have many many answers. None of which I could share openly here. Most of which you already know the answers to. We just hope - because We are human and have a soul, and have a conscience that that ONE ripping tear, or that ONE cry in the night or that one scream in pain from a child we love would get through that stupid skull and seemingly armor plated thick skin of the father (or in some case Mother) and make a pin prick of notice. Just some minute indication that they felt anything at all for a child we love so very much. Something that would indicate to them or us that they are 1/2, 1/4 or a tiny sliver of human piece of them...and yet time after time? Nothing. Like they are inhuman.

    We keep a light on, so to speak hoping they will change or care - and they rarely if ever do. We'd all be a lot better off if we'd just stop pretending they could or will ever have emotions for anyone. They are psychopaths, narcissistic, sociopathic people and they are manipulative. It's a game to them and we fell for it. Trying to explain that to your kid? Not easy. They see that other kids have Moms and Dads and of course everyone always wants something other than what they have until they don't have what they want and then they find themselves thinking that wasn't maybe so bad, or making their own life and having something better.

    In Tinks case, Dude's case? We married Toads. We got great kids, who will have to be hurt a lot worse than at 8 and 19 to ever appreciate if ever what we know to be true about their Fathers.

    I'm so sorry she's hurting again, but you're right to stop contact between her an SF. I know one thing - you can't make anyone love someone else. If toad doesn't love himself, it doesn't leave much room for Tink.

    I'm so sorry.
  20. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    THAT is worthy of engraving in stone... brilliant!