She's back...

[ksm]

The school trip got home after midnight last night and my "vacation" is over. husband picked her up when the bus arrived at the school and brought her home. She asked to be woken up at 6am as she wanted time to shower. She got woke up at 6am, 6:20, 6:45 and 7. The stress has started and already in full force. She says she had a terrible time on the trip (which included two nights in a motel, a day at Six Flags, free time in San Antonio at El Merkato and River Walk. She was OK with her room mates and the people she went with to have meals, but I guess there are some girls she has an ongoing girl drama thing with. I got automated grade reports this morning and it took another dive. Was 3 D's, 1 C, and an A in music. Now has 2 F's, 1 D and I C- and the A in music.

I can feel my stress levels rising in just one morning. On the day she left for the trip I had an upper endoscopy and found that I have GERD and an ulcer and a hiatal hernia. The hernia is small enough that it probably won't need treatment. On new medications for the other two things. They also had to balloon my esophagus because of stricture caused by the GERD and scar tissue. Maybe having 4 days of "normal" will only make it harder to deal with our every day reality. KSM

 

[recoveringenabler]

Gee, KSM, I'm sorry about the health issues. Is there some way you can get consistent breaks from your difficult child? My granddaughter, at the height of the stressful times when she was younger, used to stay with her older sister, her aunt, other relatives, a couple of weekends per month. It gave me a much needed respite from the daily and unrelenting stress when she was at the age your difficult child is. She had therapy and some life changes which made a huge difference and she actually turned into a easy child. But those breaks were so important to me. I recall those mornings where my granddaughter wouldn't get up, the mornings before school were simply horrible....... and by the time I got to work, my stress level was so high at times I felt nauseous from it. I feel for you, I know how that is, especially since we are older. Sending you caring and understanding hugs............hang in there......

 

[ksm]

Gee, KSM, I'm sorry about the health issues. Is there some way you can get consistent breaks from your difficult child? QUOTE]

I wish there were people who would do it. We have no relatives to speak of. My son (difficult child's step dad before we adopted) does take both girls about one weekend a month. He lives about 20 miles away. Since he works about 50 hours a week, including about every other weekend, I don't think he can do more. There are no aunts, uncles, etc. My husbands daughter lives in the same town and has 3 young adult kids (all living at home) and she didn't want us to adopt the girls. Plus, hers have enough problems, I wouldn't want them there, even if she did ask.

I am so dreading the summer... at least I won't have to wake her up early in the morning, but there is still all day to contend with. THREE more years... THanks for the hugs. I could use them! KSM

 

[recoveringenabler]

KSM, what about camp, you know, the kind where they go for the whole summer? Around here they also have camps which are daily, for weeks, gymnastics, theater, art, where the kids are gone a good part of the day 5 days per week. Or a volunteer position at a shelter? Some place which would be a positive experience for her and time for you to have for yourself. Many churches have summer camps too. I involved my granddaughter in many different sports and activities during the summers, it was good for both of us.

 

[ksm]

KSM, what about camp, you know, the kind where they go for the whole summer? Around here they also have camps which are daily, for weeks, gymnastics, theater, art, where the kids are gone a good part of the day 5 days per week. Or a volunteer position at a shelter? Some place which would be a positive experience for her and time for you to have for yourself. Many churches have summer camps too. I involved my granddaughter in many different sports and activities during the summers, it was good for both of us.

In the past she has had a week at church camp and loved it - but this year she has decided she no longer believes in God, so doesn't want to go to church camp. It was a very laid back type camp that wasn't preachy or and reflections was a pretty simple theme. Our church high school group has a week long trip for a conference that she could go to free - but again - it's not for her and she doesn't want to go. I am looking in to some volunteer opportunities and today I checked on summer school - as she has 2 F's, a D, a C- and an A in choir. One of the F's is in algebra, and if she fails this last trimester, she will have to take all three trimesters over next year. The school does not have summer school, but for $125 I can put her in to a class that meets in June either 9 to 12 or 12 to 3. Mon to Fri. If she applies herself, she could get done in two weeks instead of four.

In our state, you can't hardly find a job until age 16. There is a restaurant near us that hires 15 yo for clearing tables and washing dishes... but she has heard from other kids it is not a "fun" place to work. Gee - I don't really remember any teen job that you got paid for as "fun". Plus, some girl works there she doesn't like... so she "can't" work there.

I'll keep looking! Mary

 

[TerryJ2]

Ksm, I hear you about the health issues! Stress on top of stress. by the way, I am not a believer, but I AM a believer in camps, including church camps. So WHAT if she doesn't believe in God? You need the time off! She can just sit and stare at the ceiling when the rest are praying. Plus, the music can be kind of fun, and that's what she's into. Sign her up and make her go somehow. I've been known to enlist male friends to yank my difficult child out of bed; I have no shame any more, lol! She's already mad at you and mad at the world; at this point, sign her up for something all summer just for yourself.