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She's Gone Again...and I'm okay...for now
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 653313" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>As rude, in my opinion, asyour daughter was, she spoke her truth. She is eighteen. She can try to make it on your own and use emotional blackmail to get you to allow her to use your vehicles, which are a privilege, not a right. Apparently her pattern is you do what she wants or she leaves to punish you. This is her decision. You can not stand in her way. You can accept that she does this and you have the ability to stand your ground...you only have control over YOU, not her.</p><p></p><p>As I learned this past week, it is best not to follow what our dysfunctional family members do, including our adult children. We can't stop them and we can't control them. So knowing wht they do just stresses us out and does not change anything. I would ignore FB, if she has one, and let her do her thing without checking up on her. There is no point other than to get yourself upset. And you don't need that.</p><p></p><p>Drug addicts, or even intoxicated people who are not addicts, do not belong on the road so you can certainly feel good that you are not contributing to a possible accident.</p><p></p><p>You can not force her to quit using drugs. When she wants to, she will. Until she stops, she will not be pleasant.</p><p></p><p>You can accept reality without judgment, as I am doing tonight (I'm on a roll with this and ofen do this when I need to get to that peaceful place). Truth without judgement: Daughter is an addict. She runs away when she doesn't get what she wants. She does not want to stop using yet. You can think this reality without judging her. I find the judgement part regarding anybody I know makes it hard for me and, let's face it, you can't control your daughter (or anyone else) so you may as well make your life better for you.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter will survive and she is young...she could change. But it is up to her and letting go of the control you want to have over her is very useful for you. Nothing you do will change her. No rehab will help her until she is ready. I do not know if you are aware of my story, but my sweet, precious daughter quit drugs without rehab and has been clean for so long it's hard to believe she ever did drugs.</p><p></p><p>Put radical acceptance into your search engine, if you feel inclined, to learn how to accept reality without judging it. I just did many meditations which truly set me straight.</p><p></p><p>You may want to try meditation. I use YouTube for guided meditation. And I do also listen to the top psychiatrists in the country talk about Radical Acceptance, also on YouTube.I am feeling very peaceful now because I know the only person I can control is myself and that what others judge me as does not matter. I highly recommend these meditations and talks by the top psychiatrists. It's like therapy sessions withe very best for FREE <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart, but you can do this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 653313, member: 1550"] As rude, in my opinion, asyour daughter was, she spoke her truth. She is eighteen. She can try to make it on your own and use emotional blackmail to get you to allow her to use your vehicles, which are a privilege, not a right. Apparently her pattern is you do what she wants or she leaves to punish you. This is her decision. You can not stand in her way. You can accept that she does this and you have the ability to stand your ground...you only have control over YOU, not her. As I learned this past week, it is best not to follow what our dysfunctional family members do, including our adult children. We can't stop them and we can't control them. So knowing wht they do just stresses us out and does not change anything. I would ignore FB, if she has one, and let her do her thing without checking up on her. There is no point other than to get yourself upset. And you don't need that. Drug addicts, or even intoxicated people who are not addicts, do not belong on the road so you can certainly feel good that you are not contributing to a possible accident. You can not force her to quit using drugs. When she wants to, she will. Until she stops, she will not be pleasant. You can accept reality without judgment, as I am doing tonight (I'm on a roll with this and ofen do this when I need to get to that peaceful place). Truth without judgement: Daughter is an addict. She runs away when she doesn't get what she wants. She does not want to stop using yet. You can think this reality without judging her. I find the judgement part regarding anybody I know makes it hard for me and, let's face it, you can't control your daughter (or anyone else) so you may as well make your life better for you. Your daughter will survive and she is young...she could change. But it is up to her and letting go of the control you want to have over her is very useful for you. Nothing you do will change her. No rehab will help her until she is ready. I do not know if you are aware of my story, but my sweet, precious daughter quit drugs without rehab and has been clean for so long it's hard to believe she ever did drugs. Put radical acceptance into your search engine, if you feel inclined, to learn how to accept reality without judging it. I just did many meditations which truly set me straight. You may want to try meditation. I use YouTube for guided meditation. And I do also listen to the top psychiatrists in the country talk about Radical Acceptance, also on YouTube.I am feeling very peaceful now because I know the only person I can control is myself and that what others judge me as does not matter. I highly recommend these meditations and talks by the top psychiatrists. It's like therapy sessions withe very best for FREE :) Hugs for your hurting heart, but you can do this. [/QUOTE]
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She's Gone Again...and I'm okay...for now
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