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Parent Emeritus
She's now somewhat 'homeless'
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 631479" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>ES, what you are feeling right now is sadness about the changed relationship and the distance. Feel it. That's okay.</p><p></p><p>Also realize at the same time: Feelings aren't facts. </p><p></p><p>Don't act on your feelings. Just feel them, write about them, cry if you must, sit and stare if you must. In time, those feelings will subside.</p><p></p><p>Why do you feel this way? I don't know. It sounds like you have been very enmeshed with your daughter. Perhaps too enmeshed? </p><p></p><p>If that is true, you are going to have to give it some time and work before you can be okay with her moving out and your letting go.</p><p></p><p>That's on you, not on her.</p><p></p><p>So, do the work, feel the feelings, don't act on them, and keep the lines of communication open, with no blame, no guilt, no issues coming from you about her choices.</p><p></p><p>She is 18. She is an adult. She is figuring things out. Those are the facts.</p><p></p><p>Let her go, and she will come back to you, in time.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, enjoy YOUR life! It's the only one you have, ES, and the only one you have influence over. </p><p></p><p>Warm hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 631479, member: 17542"] ES, what you are feeling right now is sadness about the changed relationship and the distance. Feel it. That's okay. Also realize at the same time: Feelings aren't facts. Don't act on your feelings. Just feel them, write about them, cry if you must, sit and stare if you must. In time, those feelings will subside. Why do you feel this way? I don't know. It sounds like you have been very enmeshed with your daughter. Perhaps too enmeshed? If that is true, you are going to have to give it some time and work before you can be okay with her moving out and your letting go. That's on you, not on her. So, do the work, feel the feelings, don't act on them, and keep the lines of communication open, with no blame, no guilt, no issues coming from you about her choices. She is 18. She is an adult. She is figuring things out. Those are the facts. Let her go, and she will come back to you, in time. In the meantime, enjoy YOUR life! It's the only one you have, ES, and the only one you have influence over. Warm hugs. [/QUOTE]
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She's now somewhat 'homeless'
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