hi so i haven't vented in a while, so fasten your seatbelts.......... it's been at least a day or so, i'm totally overdue ha ha i have been hearing from difficult child's school oh she's ok, she's doing alot better, she's talking, etc. meanwhile back at "reality" ranch a place I live in everyday difficult child spends time alone at recess everyday, only has two friends with whom have alot of other friends, so she winds up alone on monkey bars then heads to the nurse for safety. when i pick her up or drop her off she is the "only" kid sitting alone staring off not talking to anyone. Today i went up to the book fair inbetween work appointments and i saw the teacher. she said oh hi and i said oh hi (ms. herbal pain in my ***) k i only thought that, and i said where's difficult child?? her response oh she's right here. five minutes later in a rm no larger than 10X12 there is difficult child standing alone by herself oh man so cute with her book fair money in hand looking at a book. she was soo soo happy to see me. ok get this other kids talk to difficult child yet she doesn't respond. i saw it a few times there. her social skills are non existant it seems unless it's a one on one experience with a friend. her social anxiety is tremendous. her sweet smiling face, wow i love that kid. anyhow so as per teacher oh she spoke to someone today, oh she ate one cracker today!! yes huge, huge improvement i am just in awe at her capabilities of fixing everyone of difficult child's issues NOT!!! ok so i'm currently working on getting into this therapy program for difficult child, one time a week for her, and then group with other kids, and then her and i and rest of family. they specialize in anxiety, and also mood disorders and their highly trained in cognitive behavior therapy, and a whole bunch of other stuff. i'm working on iep, and i didn't give her the thorazine and glad i didn't my gut screamed no really loud on that one. yet i wish there was an anti anxiety medication right now that would help her calm down enough to talk to a child while i work on the other stuff. yet her reaction to this stuff is totally bizarre. she flies off the handle. she's sleeping more nights than not. the kava kava mix and melatonin and Occupational Therapist (OT) brushing and wrapping her at night like she was a little gift is working most of time, at least 5 nights out of 7 which is huge huge or us. yet i stil dont' feel like i'm doing enough. seeing her today was a quick reminder for me to move faster. i've got appointment with dr on tuesday i never switched doctor's i stuck wiht him but told him he's gotta deal wtih my non usage of thorazine because i think he's wrong........ yup they love that. still dealing with issues at home as well nasty to me, slight blow ups, homework cannot concentrate yet if i stick with it and stay calm i can get her to do it in less than 2 hours, her need for constant routine and needing to know what time wil this one be home, or that one can be soo taxing when there's 6 other people here two nights a week and all the other kids have various things we cart them to, that is all we do....... ok i'm done. wait flip side is theater group she's still going to, violin she just began last week thru school and now she's signed up for community council board every monday morning they meet she wants to help others ie. make blankets for local shelter, send canned good to less fortunate, etc. how cute is she? so there's so much good there im seeing yet these anxiety issues, the social skills that are non existant are just tremendous.