Shocking realization

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by SmallTownMom, Dec 7, 2012.

  1. SmallTownMom

    SmallTownMom New Member

    So as I delve into the intense book “The Explosive Child” I find myself wondering if I have more then one explosive child. Is my easy child really a mild mannered difficult child? Have I been parenting him in a way that does not benefit him?

    My fiancé and I had gone to get his kids an hour away, when we leave we always set boundaries in the house. One son will use the computer room with the TV, and the other will be in the living room with the lap top. The only catch is that there is no food or drink allowed in the computer room.

    Today my difficult child wanted to be in the computer room so my easy child was in the living room. All was good until my difficult child wanted to eat. He made himself a bowl of cereal and sat in the living room to eat. My easy child was not using the TV so my difficult child decided to turn on the TV. This is the conversation that followed.

    easy child: I can’t hear my video (he is using the lap top)
    difficult child: I just want to watch TV till I am done
    easy child: (turns up lap top)
    difficult child (turns up TV)
    easy child (turns up lap top)
    difficult child: Can you please turn it down I can’t hear. I wish mom would get us earphones!
    easy child: I have earphones I just don’t want to use them!

    difficult child then calls me on the phone and says that he needs help. I was stunned at the inflexibility that my easy child showed. Have some more reading to do and some more figuring out.

    Things that make you go hmmm
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Yup. Those Hmmm moments.

    My difficult child is definitely difficult child - but my other child doens't qualify for easy child. K2 is anything from "almost easy child" to "typical teen" to "mild difficult child"... sometimes, all in the same day. Doesn't help me that mine are opposite genders... although, others tell me it's worse if they are the same gender.

    Things like ADD, ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) - the "developmental" stuff - tends to run in families. So, officially, (just for example), if one child is diagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), the probability of another child in the same family being Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) goes up. Same for ADHD... etc. So... your mommy gut is probably right. You just don't know what the overlapping dxes are yet.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think that infelxibility is normal. easy child was just followiing the rules, right?
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    difficult child was not supposed to be there. He could have had his snack in the kitchen. easy child has every right to want the tv off and be able to listen to the lap top without ear plugs.

    easy child needs to be able to know that he doesn't always have to be the flexible one, especially when difficult child intrudes where he was not supposed to be.

    You don't want difficult child to learn he can do whatever he wants when his brother is involved. That will only foster difficult child using his brother to get what he wants. Keep the focus of this one as difficult child was not where he belonged. I would tell difficult child that easy child was given use of the room and as such was able to ask that the t.v. Stay off.