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Short but good article about estranged parent
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 643057" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I believe that when our difficult child children get their lives in order, a piece of that is finally rebelling against us, hating us for a little while, even. It seems to me that these overwhelming emotions have as much to do with being disgusted with themselves as they do with anything we have or have not done.</p><p></p><p>We go through this with both our children when they are doing well. difficult child daughter will be angry or shocked or saddened but appreciative overall. difficult child son lashes out, blames and labels and ends contact routinely. I think what it is, is that our kids are as confused and hurt about where their lives have gone as we are. It's a growth process and it's a learning process. That is part of the reason I never defended myself with difficult child son. I would only feel bad. But MWM post about abusive adult children got me thinking about what it means for a son, especially, to routinely disrespect his own mother.</p><p></p><p>And that turned out to be a very good thing for me to know, too.</p><p></p><p>Guess who doesn't have to be perfect, doesn't have to be the victim, does not have to be the long-suffering martyr, right?</p><p></p><p>And so, I could come stumbling into real.</p><p></p><p>Very nice, MWM. Thank you for posting for us.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 643057, member: 17461"] I believe that when our difficult child children get their lives in order, a piece of that is finally rebelling against us, hating us for a little while, even. It seems to me that these overwhelming emotions have as much to do with being disgusted with themselves as they do with anything we have or have not done. We go through this with both our children when they are doing well. difficult child daughter will be angry or shocked or saddened but appreciative overall. difficult child son lashes out, blames and labels and ends contact routinely. I think what it is, is that our kids are as confused and hurt about where their lives have gone as we are. It's a growth process and it's a learning process. That is part of the reason I never defended myself with difficult child son. I would only feel bad. But MWM post about abusive adult children got me thinking about what it means for a son, especially, to routinely disrespect his own mother. And that turned out to be a very good thing for me to know, too. Guess who doesn't have to be perfect, doesn't have to be the victim, does not have to be the long-suffering martyr, right? And so, I could come stumbling into real. Very nice, MWM. Thank you for posting for us. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Short but good article about estranged parent
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