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Short Visit from difficult child Yesterday
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 646770" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I think what Tanya said is true Albatross. After years of this, we're fried, we're depleted, we've just got no more reserves left......and while we are not around them, we are attempting to regain our normalcy, trying to find our middle ground and feel okay, which takes work on our part. Then, they show up with the latest drama, the latest chaos, the latest mess which we now know we can't do anything about........so that awful helplessness shows up, along with the horror of what is happening and our deep sorrow at reality........I would say feeling dread is a natural response considering the conditions most of us here live with. </p><p></p><p>In the big picture Albatross, having any kind of judgement about your response to your son just adds more pain to it. It is <u>enough</u> that you have to deal with it, how you are responding is how most of us respond. These are unnatural conditions. You are in a war zone. You are a soldier fighting a battle where the ammunition is in the hands of the enemy and you are defenseless except for your response to it. You responded in an excellent way, you were loving and kind and supportive AND you kept your boundaries intact. You and husband did a great job. That's all you can do. Knowing that's all you can do is in itself another form of torture we have to learn to accept. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there Albatross, my heart so goes out to you..........I remember those feelings so vividly. You've done what you can........do your very best to let the rest go. My prayers continue for you, your husband and your son. I hope he went to detox. Keep us posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 646770, member: 13542"] I think what Tanya said is true Albatross. After years of this, we're fried, we're depleted, we've just got no more reserves left......and while we are not around them, we are attempting to regain our normalcy, trying to find our middle ground and feel okay, which takes work on our part. Then, they show up with the latest drama, the latest chaos, the latest mess which we now know we can't do anything about........so that awful helplessness shows up, along with the horror of what is happening and our deep sorrow at reality........I would say feeling dread is a natural response considering the conditions most of us here live with. In the big picture Albatross, having any kind of judgement about your response to your son just adds more pain to it. It is [U]enough[/U] that you have to deal with it, how you are responding is how most of us respond. These are unnatural conditions. You are in a war zone. You are a soldier fighting a battle where the ammunition is in the hands of the enemy and you are defenseless except for your response to it. You responded in an excellent way, you were loving and kind and supportive AND you kept your boundaries intact. You and husband did a great job. That's all you can do. Knowing that's all you can do is in itself another form of torture we have to learn to accept. Hang in there Albatross, my heart so goes out to you..........I remember those feelings so vividly. You've done what you can........do your very best to let the rest go. My prayers continue for you, your husband and your son. I hope he went to detox. Keep us posted. [/QUOTE]
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