Should I be in trouble for this, what do you think should happen?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jody, Sep 23, 2011.

  1. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    My difficult child is in foster care and she comes home on Friday thru Sunday. She takes adderall, and she said last week, I 've got to get some more adderal. Okay, so she tells her foster mom that she needs it and she calls difficult child's therapist and tells her she needs it. Okay, so that was on Monday. This morning difficult child wakes up and low and behold no adderal. Foster mom knows that difficult child cannot function at school without being sent to the office without her adderall. She is unable to hold it together without it, she has terrible impulse control without her medication. So she stays home from school. Fostermom calls the agency to check and see if it's been called in 4 days later. Therapist didn't get to it yesterday and today she is out of the office sick. The Dr. has also taken the day off and is not reachable.

    In the 7 years, difficult child has taken adderall, I have never not had her medication. I know how important it is for her and I stay on top of it. For her sanity and mine and everyone else's. I refuse to let her come home for the weekend without it. I think it's ****. FM, Dr, Therapist, all failed to do what they are supposed to. Now they want me to deal with the brunt of it and oh we will make sure she has it on Monday. If difficult child comes home one of two things is going to happen, she is going to go to jail for destroying something or hurting me, or I am going to go to jail. I want neither to happen. Her caseworker says if this happens that she doesn't get her medication and she doesn't go home, then they will have to put her in respite and it's not going to look good and someone is going to be in trouble.

    Should it be me for refusing to let her come home like this? Should I let her come home and everything just happen as it's going to. If they know she can't handle school without her medicine, what makes them think that it's going to go well at home this weekend? Don't care as long as they don't have to deal with it. Ugh.

    They called back and they can't get the prescription and they are going to send her home, now what do I do?
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2011
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    They blanketty-blank goldurnded well sure CAN get a script.
    Its called an emergency script.
    Any other doctor with access to the file - OR the family doctor if the pharmacy faxes the most recent script to the MD - can write a one-week or one-month refill to get you past the emergency.

    There is NO EXCUSE.
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Your sentence here is a little confusing...

    Is your caseworker threatening you???
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Good question, DF... as in, who is going to be in trouble? Because, really, there are two or three people who should be in trouble, but I don't think you should be one of them - but "they" will try and make it your problem, of course. The ones who should be in trouble are:
    1) FM for letting it fall between the cracks
    2) caseworker - ditto
    3) doctor - ditto

    YOU had no control over the situation.
  5. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Jody - I agree with- not letting her come home.

    I couldn't agree more with- the caseworker - it doesn't look good and someone should be in trouble. FM, Dr., therapist, caseworker - take your pick. What if the medication were something more crucial - insulin, anti-seizure medication, etc.?

    I guarantee this isn't the first time this has happened in the system. They should have a backup plan - if not, then caseworker/FM/whoever can just take difficult child into Urgent Care/ER and get emergency script. I'd let caseworker know that you'll be happy to have difficult child home if, and only if, they provide her medications as well.

    (Can you imagine the fallout if a parent involved with- the system "forgot" to get a child's medications???)
  6. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    It sounded threatening to me. It was left hanging like someone would be in trouble, me, FM, Therapist. They said the reason why the Dr can't get the prescription, is because it is for a controlled substance and he is in another clinic in a different city and his contract with the state says that only he can personally write the script out for a patient. The fm did not call the therapist until Wednesday, not Monday, but the day before the medication was out. I let her know that I knew that and that this was her problem and not mine. She shouldn't have called the day before her medicine ran out. Ugh. I so cannot believe this is happening. My adhd child even reminded her that she was running out, on Monday. ugh, I am mad.
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2011
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Definitely FM who's in trouble
    We're on "controlled" stuff too... you just can't cut it that fine.

    If he has that in his contract, then there is some way of contacting him in an emergency. And yes, this is an emergency. Its not like FM called it in this morning.
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Doesn't the doctor have another doctor covering his patients in the event of an emergency? I'm sure that doctor would be able to write a refill, even if no more than a three day supply till the regular doctor gets back. It can be done, and I'd be in caseworker's face till she found a solution.
  9. keista

    keista New Member

    Well, if she does come home, take her records and her to the emergency room (or clinic if there's one available) and plead your case with the doctors there. Maybe difficult child can tear up the waiting room just for a "finishing touch" :twister2:
  10. ready2run

    ready2run New Member

    i'd make fm take her to the ER and sit around waiting for a doctor who is willing to help.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Let her go to respite. Tell your daughter that you love her and want to build on your good track record and that you know that with-o her medications she is NOT able to be safe and appropriate, but that you don't hold it against her and hope she has a good weekend. Tell the caseworker that yes, someone should be in trouble and you will be THRILLED to let her boss know that she, FM, and the doctor ALL let this slide until LONG after even the CHILD told them they needed more medication. Agree with her that someone should be in trouble, and be sure to let her know that you think that SHE is in that group.

    Let her stew - she is expecting you to take difficult child and cover up their mistake. If you do that, then this will continue to happen. Your daughter doesn't deserve that - so help hold them accountable.
  12. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I went home and checked on Friday and I had some extra Adderall. I had a couple of 25's and a 5 milligram. She was a nightmare on Friday but very well behaved on Saturday and Sunday. Friday by the time I saw her it was too late to give her her stimulation medication. Ugh, I spent a lot of the night in my bedroom as did she.

    The stress of house sitting the terrier for three weeks, left out the door with little Dixie Belle as she returned home with her owners after three weeks. Yippee. That helped a lot. I had more patience for daughter. That dog was driving me and anyone who visited my house nuts. So cute, but very, very high maintenance.

    I have not heard anything from the caseworker regarding issues with not having medication ordered in time. I looked at the title of my post and thought boy, it's still there the thought of being in trouble all the time. I was the difficult child in my childhood home whether or not I actually was the one who caused the problem I was definately always worrying about being in troouble. I have to stop that. What could they have done to me, if it had been my fault? Not a whole lot of anything, but for a short time I was really worried about it. I am 44 years old and I am still learning things!!!!! Yeah, it means there is still hope for me and kiddo.