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Should I force him?
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<blockquote data-quote="A dad" data-source="post: 643337" data-attributes="member: 18668"><p>Yes he did graduate with average grades but he did. He even went to college for one year but he only partied and never went to classes and exams or even payed for the college after the first payment. And then he went another year at a different college and did the same thing.</p><p></p><p>The problem is I hate being put in such a position I want my son to have it better then me to offer him things that I was not offered but thinking about it that is something hard to top. And yes I know how that, feels hell after all the only reason I managed was for a girl and in the end I was left with skills for job that payed well and a place of my own but without the girl. I did not had the drive even then I had other motivations and the job and place to live were just means for a end I did not reach. And when I discussed with my wife and my oldest son when I found out what he did in his first year of his second college and that I wanted to kick him out of my house my wife did not let me and my oldest said he will take him in as he does not want his brother being on the street. They also pointed my hypocrisy a thing that hit a soft spot.</p><p></p><p></p><p> I do not know what to say here I do not have any bad feeling about that I know it was late but I am not sad it was that late and I remember with fondness those days and I had a very good relationship with my parents until they died. I do not think you can not get your life on order its just my opinion of course because I take me as a example.</p><p>But I wonder if I have the patience my own parents had.</p><p></p><p> I do not know about being negligent as my oldest is a independent adult is just as you said my youngest lacks the drive a thing I understand perfectly also I do not think it reflect bad on me as a parent since he has other qualities that make me proud like the fact that he is so patient and sly and always offers to help around the house. And also I do not think a middle schooler should do what my son does and I am certain none of kids did such a think when they were in middle school. My wife and I made a strict set of rules when they where in school they can not go out and/or play video games during the work part of the week that being from monday to friday and they can go out in the weekend only until 22:00 and only 2 hours of video game per day. It worked well for my oldest who got great grades and got in to college with a scholarship and now works as a engineer. My youngest no matter how much we tried only got average grades. Of course I know it was because school bored him as it did me but unlike me where nobody cared how I did in school I thought taking a interest and pushing him more towards school will benefit him. I did not expect that after finishing high school he would want only want to have fun.</p><p>I can say this do not be proud that your child is you in your younger years as least in my case as we do not realize how big of a pain we were to our parents and to their patience and how their hard work to educate us in respected adults amounted to nothing for quite some time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="A dad, post: 643337, member: 18668"] Yes he did graduate with average grades but he did. He even went to college for one year but he only partied and never went to classes and exams or even payed for the college after the first payment. And then he went another year at a different college and did the same thing. The problem is I hate being put in such a position I want my son to have it better then me to offer him things that I was not offered but thinking about it that is something hard to top. And yes I know how that, feels hell after all the only reason I managed was for a girl and in the end I was left with skills for job that payed well and a place of my own but without the girl. I did not had the drive even then I had other motivations and the job and place to live were just means for a end I did not reach. And when I discussed with my wife and my oldest son when I found out what he did in his first year of his second college and that I wanted to kick him out of my house my wife did not let me and my oldest said he will take him in as he does not want his brother being on the street. They also pointed my hypocrisy a thing that hit a soft spot. I do not know what to say here I do not have any bad feeling about that I know it was late but I am not sad it was that late and I remember with fondness those days and I had a very good relationship with my parents until they died. I do not think you can not get your life on order its just my opinion of course because I take me as a example. But I wonder if I have the patience my own parents had. I do not know about being negligent as my oldest is a independent adult is just as you said my youngest lacks the drive a thing I understand perfectly also I do not think it reflect bad on me as a parent since he has other qualities that make me proud like the fact that he is so patient and sly and always offers to help around the house. And also I do not think a middle schooler should do what my son does and I am certain none of kids did such a think when they were in middle school. My wife and I made a strict set of rules when they where in school they can not go out and/or play video games during the work part of the week that being from monday to friday and they can go out in the weekend only until 22:00 and only 2 hours of video game per day. It worked well for my oldest who got great grades and got in to college with a scholarship and now works as a engineer. My youngest no matter how much we tried only got average grades. Of course I know it was because school bored him as it did me but unlike me where nobody cared how I did in school I thought taking a interest and pushing him more towards school will benefit him. I did not expect that after finishing high school he would want only want to have fun. I can say this do not be proud that your child is you in your younger years as least in my case as we do not realize how big of a pain we were to our parents and to their patience and how their hard work to educate us in respected adults amounted to nothing for quite some time. [/QUOTE]
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