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General Parenting
Should I force him?
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 643366" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>diagnosis stands for diagnosis. </p><p> </p><p>Okay...I have to ask because we've all clearly got our own problems with our kids or we wouldn't be here...has he ever had a job? Even McDonald's in high school? Have you always supported him completely, even spending money? You've given him a car, a house, food, clothing, everything? You paid for two years of college for nothing? Really? If he goes out with friends, do you give him the gas and beer money? What about dates? Does he not ever go out? I'm kind of shocked by that at 21. I mean, we kicked our son OUT because he stole from us...but before that we were insistent that he find a job - and when he didn't look, we dropped him to NO spending money and he was only 19. </p><p> </p><p>So you seem kind of resolved to let him just laze because you did. But at what age is that going to stop? When he turns 25? How about 30? Do you want to keep doing this for him until you die and he just inherits the house? I'm joking....but at some point he has to figure stuff out on his own. </p><p> </p><p>Because he's a good kid and you aren't reporting anything like drugs or alcohol problems and he seems to just be lazy and lack ambition from what you say...I think I'd try to ease him into it. Get a job in __ months, or you lose spending money. In another __ months, you lose the car. In __ months you are either working and paying us a small amount of rent and saving up for your own pace or out! (Let his brother take him in...he'll get tired of that pretty darn quick!)</p><p> </p><p>It's not hypocrisy to expect your 21 year old son to start acting like an adult.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 643366, member: 17309"] diagnosis stands for diagnosis. Okay...I have to ask because we've all clearly got our own problems with our kids or we wouldn't be here...has he ever had a job? Even McDonald's in high school? Have you always supported him completely, even spending money? You've given him a car, a house, food, clothing, everything? You paid for two years of college for nothing? Really? If he goes out with friends, do you give him the gas and beer money? What about dates? Does he not ever go out? I'm kind of shocked by that at 21. I mean, we kicked our son OUT because he stole from us...but before that we were insistent that he find a job - and when he didn't look, we dropped him to NO spending money and he was only 19. So you seem kind of resolved to let him just laze because you did. But at what age is that going to stop? When he turns 25? How about 30? Do you want to keep doing this for him until you die and he just inherits the house? I'm joking....but at some point he has to figure stuff out on his own. Because he's a good kid and you aren't reporting anything like drugs or alcohol problems and he seems to just be lazy and lack ambition from what you say...I think I'd try to ease him into it. Get a job in __ months, or you lose spending money. In another __ months, you lose the car. In __ months you are either working and paying us a small amount of rent and saving up for your own pace or out! (Let his brother take him in...he'll get tired of that pretty darn quick!) It's not hypocrisy to expect your 21 year old son to start acting like an adult. [/QUOTE]
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