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Should I force him?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 643391" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Sounds like your culture is different than ours. The majority of us are American and we have a few Canadians. It is important in our culture that our grown children work. It is sort of embarassing when they don't and others know about it.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if you will find anyone on the same page as you here. For me, after reading your third post, I thought, "No way. I'd make him leave rather than risk mayhem at home just because a grown man doesn't want to work. Nobody that age throws a tantrum in my house at his age. Bye-bye." If his brother wants that stress, I'd let his brother deal with it. I do care about myself and the others I love too. In the culture I was raised in and with the values I grew up with and continue to have, your grown child is no longer a child at eighteen and at that point he either gets a full time job and pays rent or goes full time to college or packs his bags and finds somewhere else to live so that he can learn to fend for himself. I'm not saying everyone agrees with me, but that is sort of what the expectation is in the U.S. I have never met a parent who was ok with a non-working, non-college student grown child who just sat around the house. Met a few, but eventually their kids got thrown out. Most were on drugs, but even without drugs, it is not accepted here. That doesn't mean anyone has to follow the crowd, but it IS what most of us are taught from a youngster. I can not imagine what a man that age is learning about life and being the adult he is by acting like a little boy who has no responsibility. So my vote, which does not have to be yours, is to let him leave and live with his brother and see how long his brother likes it.</p><p></p><p>Not knowing your customs, it is hard for us to think about a parent willingly allowing a young adult to boss us around or sit at home all day with videogames and movies.</p><p></p><p>You have very good English.</p><p></p><p>Take care and good luck <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 643391, member: 1550"] Sounds like your culture is different than ours. The majority of us are American and we have a few Canadians. It is important in our culture that our grown children work. It is sort of embarassing when they don't and others know about it. I don't know if you will find anyone on the same page as you here. For me, after reading your third post, I thought, "No way. I'd make him leave rather than risk mayhem at home just because a grown man doesn't want to work. Nobody that age throws a tantrum in my house at his age. Bye-bye." If his brother wants that stress, I'd let his brother deal with it. I do care about myself and the others I love too. In the culture I was raised in and with the values I grew up with and continue to have, your grown child is no longer a child at eighteen and at that point he either gets a full time job and pays rent or goes full time to college or packs his bags and finds somewhere else to live so that he can learn to fend for himself. I'm not saying everyone agrees with me, but that is sort of what the expectation is in the U.S. I have never met a parent who was ok with a non-working, non-college student grown child who just sat around the house. Met a few, but eventually their kids got thrown out. Most were on drugs, but even without drugs, it is not accepted here. That doesn't mean anyone has to follow the crowd, but it IS what most of us are taught from a youngster. I can not imagine what a man that age is learning about life and being the adult he is by acting like a little boy who has no responsibility. So my vote, which does not have to be yours, is to let him leave and live with his brother and see how long his brother likes it. Not knowing your customs, it is hard for us to think about a parent willingly allowing a young adult to boss us around or sit at home all day with videogames and movies. You have very good English. Take care and good luck :) [/QUOTE]
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