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Substance Abuse
Should I reach out or wait?
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 727534" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>My son has been in rehab for heroin addiction for a month now, and was just transferred to a different unit which I guess is more of a halfway house. He has a bit more freedom, has his own cell phone back, and is free to get a job. I heard this all from my daughter (his sister) and my daughter-in-law (his wife). He hasn't called me or his father once since he's been there.</p><p></p><p>My daughter said he called her to chat and also asked to borrow $250 for his first month's rent at the halfway house, which he said he'd pay back with his income tax refund. She couldn't help him. </p><p></p><p>So I'm here in the face of "is this enabling" land again. I'd kind-of mad and hurt that he hasn't tried to contact me at all, despite the fact that we had a friendly relationship, had talked extensively about his hopes for rehab, etc. I'd like to text him just to say "hi, heard you're doing well, why haven't you called?" (maybe leave off the last bit?) My daughter said she thinks he's embarrassed to call us since we found out about the money and guitar he had stolen. She also said she thinks I should make the first move to break the ice with him so he doesn't build up something in his mind.</p><p></p><p>Husband thinks I should stay quiet and wait for him to call us, or just be glad he isn't calling us to ask for money or to live with us again. I'm kind-of afraid to call or text thinking he might see that as a way to ease his way back into our middle bedroom. But I want him to know we're supporting him and wishing him well, despite everything. Can somebody help me straighten out my thinking on this?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 727534, member: 18099"] My son has been in rehab for heroin addiction for a month now, and was just transferred to a different unit which I guess is more of a halfway house. He has a bit more freedom, has his own cell phone back, and is free to get a job. I heard this all from my daughter (his sister) and my daughter-in-law (his wife). He hasn't called me or his father once since he's been there. My daughter said he called her to chat and also asked to borrow $250 for his first month's rent at the halfway house, which he said he'd pay back with his income tax refund. She couldn't help him. So I'm here in the face of "is this enabling" land again. I'd kind-of mad and hurt that he hasn't tried to contact me at all, despite the fact that we had a friendly relationship, had talked extensively about his hopes for rehab, etc. I'd like to text him just to say "hi, heard you're doing well, why haven't you called?" (maybe leave off the last bit?) My daughter said she thinks he's embarrassed to call us since we found out about the money and guitar he had stolen. She also said she thinks I should make the first move to break the ice with him so he doesn't build up something in his mind. Husband thinks I should stay quiet and wait for him to call us, or just be glad he isn't calling us to ask for money or to live with us again. I'm kind-of afraid to call or text thinking he might see that as a way to ease his way back into our middle bedroom. But I want him to know we're supporting him and wishing him well, despite everything. Can somebody help me straighten out my thinking on this? [/QUOTE]
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