I agree with SWOT.
But no matter what you choose to do, why don't you give yourself a break for a while? It sounds like you could use one.
Please try to think of putting yourself FIRST. Think of being selfish for a while. It's okay. You've earned it. We all have!!
I saw a new therapist last night. Wasn't sure how it would go as I had been with the same one for 7 months and she found a day job so left the group she was in. Was apprehensive starting with someone new and not sure what I could get out of it and a bit iffy if I still needed to see someone.
Last night I got out of it that "mother's guilt" is a thing and it's real. Also that none of us really know HOW our children's life's are going to turn out! It's more of a stresser for those of us here because we've witnessed the destruction that they can do, but in reality, none of us know the future of our children.
Focus on the moment. Take one day at a time. Focus on yourself. That's what I'm going to try to do.