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Substance Abuse
Should we kick him out?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 645212" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Wow what a load you are carrying on your young shoulders. You remind me of my oldest. There is five years age difference between her and her sister. She was also in college when her sister was acting out the worst. She tried to help her, tried to be the go between and peacemaker and she paid a dear price in having anxiety that she struggles with today. My youngest, the one that was smoking pot and drining at age 14, is adopted and her birth history involves addiction to both alcohol and drugs so we have been very aware of her risks early on.</p><p></p><p>Even though we did the best we could keepig her away from abusing substance, sending her to good schools, involving her in good activities, she repeated the same cycle of abuse that was in her genetic makeup. We learned an important lesson about heredity and there there certainly ar epeople who are predisposed to substance abuse. You are so wise to understand this at your age. </p><p></p><p>I want to give you hope. Your brother is young. It is so hard for young people to stay away from drugs/alcohol when their friends are doing it and they seem fine. You are right that you can put 100 kids in a room and let them drink/drug all day and perhaps only one will end up with a problem. It is why the neighbor kids could drink and smoke pot and their parents turned their heads while we were doing everything possible to keep our daughter away from it. The best thing for your brother at this point may be that he does get into trouble and that he is ordered into a stronger treatment program. We wre lucky because in our community we had a juvenile detective that took a liking to my daughter and while he gave her consequences he also worked very hard to help her.</p><p></p><p>My heart breaks for you having to worry about your brother and also finish school and start your own life. My daughter is now 23 and it wasn't until about 2 years ago that she started to straighten out her life. Her sister is always there for her but will not enable her if she is doing the wrong thing, and she knows it. She now understands how fooolish she was that she threw a college opportunity away while her sister finished college and has a good job. She admits that she made huge mistakes and says she regrets what she has done.</p><p></p><p>I hope your brother gets help and I also hope that you get to live your life unburdened by his bad choices. I know you feel sorry for him but as we have learned it's sometimes much better for them that we stop enabling them and let them learn the hard way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 645212, member: 59"] Wow what a load you are carrying on your young shoulders. You remind me of my oldest. There is five years age difference between her and her sister. She was also in college when her sister was acting out the worst. She tried to help her, tried to be the go between and peacemaker and she paid a dear price in having anxiety that she struggles with today. My youngest, the one that was smoking pot and drining at age 14, is adopted and her birth history involves addiction to both alcohol and drugs so we have been very aware of her risks early on. Even though we did the best we could keepig her away from abusing substance, sending her to good schools, involving her in good activities, she repeated the same cycle of abuse that was in her genetic makeup. We learned an important lesson about heredity and there there certainly ar epeople who are predisposed to substance abuse. You are so wise to understand this at your age. I want to give you hope. Your brother is young. It is so hard for young people to stay away from drugs/alcohol when their friends are doing it and they seem fine. You are right that you can put 100 kids in a room and let them drink/drug all day and perhaps only one will end up with a problem. It is why the neighbor kids could drink and smoke pot and their parents turned their heads while we were doing everything possible to keep our daughter away from it. The best thing for your brother at this point may be that he does get into trouble and that he is ordered into a stronger treatment program. We wre lucky because in our community we had a juvenile detective that took a liking to my daughter and while he gave her consequences he also worked very hard to help her. My heart breaks for you having to worry about your brother and also finish school and start your own life. My daughter is now 23 and it wasn't until about 2 years ago that she started to straighten out her life. Her sister is always there for her but will not enable her if she is doing the wrong thing, and she knows it. She now understands how fooolish she was that she threw a college opportunity away while her sister finished college and has a good job. She admits that she made huge mistakes and says she regrets what she has done. I hope your brother gets help and I also hope that you get to live your life unburdened by his bad choices. I know you feel sorry for him but as we have learned it's sometimes much better for them that we stop enabling them and let them learn the hard way. [/QUOTE]
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