Should've Left Well Enough Alone

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Jul 12, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    It seems by inquiring over M's weight/health and their monetary status............I've opened a can of worms. :sigh:

    Katie's last two emails have been one long out pity party whine, making me want to crawl through the screen and pound her head into a wall.

    I swear to heaven above I'm normally a very patient person.

    I didn't respond to last night's pity party because, well because every attempt I made came out down right vicious. So......she sent me yet another one. This time claiming that now welfare believes both her and M are working. omg The lies just do NOT stop. Now I know for a fact her workplace faxed the paperwork to welfare. And I know that if welfare contacted M's place of employment they had to provide the information. The factory Nichole worked for has attempted to "put off such things" before and it didn't go well for them. They now are prompt in returning such information.

    Since she's "stressed so terribly she fears she'll have a seizure..." I guess that means she doesn't have to do anything. ugh My guess the food banks are empty. Well duh. They've been begging (and I DO mean begging) for donations for MONTHS. I've told her that repeatedly.

    I can't think of a single neutral or nice thing to say. I want to just rip into her as this is so idiotic and I'm sick of her acting as if I'm really so naive and ignorant of how these programs work that I'm going to buy into her pack of lies.

    Maybe I will. I haven't decided yet.

    What makes me even madder still? Had a young man about 16 come to the door today. Well groomed, scared to death, wringing his hands he was so nervous. He explained to husband that his mom has been out of work for a long time. Things have gotten desperate. Did we have some yard work he could do for us. We could name the price. Please, sir. I just need to help my Mom pay bills.

    And my husband, whom I haven't spoken to since he opened the door to that young man (not boy, a man doing what a man does when his family is in need), the total major PITA that he can be upon occasion (the selfish SOB) told the young man, no sorry, we couldn't pay him.

    Now I have weeds almost as tall as trees in my flower beds, ladies. My yard needs mowed. There are weeds in the back yard that husband has been trying to get Travis to help him dig up for weeks now. There is Rowdy's kennel that needs cleaned out and washed again. PLENTY of work for a young man trying his best to help his mom!

    Young man was gone before I could chase him down. dammit. I'd have paid him in my stash of quarters, but he'd not have walked away empty handed.:rollingpin:

    So. Yeah. Now I'm even more livid over katie's pathetic pity party mails.

    And about that young man? He went to easy child's house too. (she lives down the alley the next street over from me) sister in law asked him to please come back friday when he gets paid and he'll find him something to do for 20 bucks. I told easy child when he's done there to send him over. I'll hold out cash from the food budget to pay him with. D@mn husband and his selfish self anyways.

    Yup. Want so very badly to blast lil Miss I gotta mooch off everyone else cuz I'm too good for honest work right out of the water tonight. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    I shouldn't have inquired about anything. After the last blasting I gave her katie rarely mailed me, and only when she wanted something, very little news and not much whining.

    I swear to god above I feel like I'm dealing with a 14 yr old kid instead of a 31 yr old woman.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Lisa, that would have infuriated me too. Neither Katie or M have worked in months have they? Well M was supposedly working a little while ago but who knows if that was even true. I cant even remember that Katie worked? If she did, it was long ago enough that welfare surely wouldnt think she was still working. They can also fix that really really quickly too!

    She is just what we used to call a welfare queen. Its why we refer to the first of the month "mothers day" around here. Its the day the welfare check arrives. Thats when you see everyone at Walmart or in the hair salon getting their extensions redone.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Janet, katie worked all of ONE day. Just enough to show a pay stub to HUD to get the apartment.

    Well. Maybe I wasn't in such a good place tonight. Maybe I just made the biggest mistake of my life.

    I just called her on the lies. Told her exactly how I felt about her situation. Told her if she wants help from us she 1. has to be totally honest with us and come clean and 2. show us she's working to help herself.

    Told her exactly my opinion of M and to stop singing his praises to me because I've already got his number and I don't like what I see.

    Told her that it is awful that her 11 yr old daughter can see the truth of the situation yet she continues to make excuses and make up lies so it's always someone elses fault.

    Told her that there is obviously a problem, that until she admits there is a problem and is willing to face it and deal with it, no one can help her and she is going to keep on spinning her wheels and getting nowhere.

    I'm sorry but that was just one pity party and one I'm such a Loser too many. I did and said exactly what I would have done and said had it been easy child or Nichole. Both girls interrupted me while I was doing it, so they know what's going down. They don't know exactly what was said, but they have the jest of it.

    I did make an attempt to curb my anger and my total fed up ness about the whole deal.

    I figure if she wants to change and is just so stuck in her groove she can't see the light of day, maybe it will be her wake up call. If this is just who she is then she'll see we're not going to play into her hands and make her next move.

    I guess the time was right to do so. The computer didn't crash, fb didn't lock up, or any of the half dozen other weird things that happened every time I attempted before to do this.

    At the very least, maybe I won't have to listen to her load of bullsh*t every time she mails me
  4. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Lisa, I think you did exactly the right thing. I don't know how you've managed to keep your patience all this time - I know I couldn't! You said what needed to be said and now she knows exactly how you feel and what the score is. It's all up to her now.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Maybe the stars are aligned or something since I actually told Billie I didnt think she was supporting her family and you told Katie I also got ticked off because I had sent an ebay box to Billie for Mikey and it was supposed to get to her on Saturday or Monday and I told her to keep checking her mail for it and she told me she had and I had to call her today to find out if it came and finally today she admits it came. I checked online and lo and behold it was delivered in her mailbox on Saturday! She just didnt check the mail. I had to drag it out of her to tell me if the outfits were nice or not so I could put the feedback on ebay though. Ungrateful brat.
  6. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think calling her on all of it was the right thing to do, esepcially if it made you feel better having finally said your piece. It's been brewing for awhile, obviously. How she'll respond is anyone's guess. Could be it'll sink into some small chink in her armor and spark something, could be she'll use it as another reason to feel sorry for herself ("even my mother is against me, woe is me.")