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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 695109" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi lonelyone and welcome back. I worry about my anonymity too, not because family members will find me but because I have a profession, where I am supposed<em> to know better and do better.</em></p><p></p><p>I have come to the decision for me, that I am human. That disclosing such should neither surprise anybody nor give them an advantage over me. Because, after all they are too--human.Good.</p><p>Well. We are in the same situation. My son, now 27, receives SSI for mental illness. He has been here for about 5 or 6 months, and we have reached a crossroads because it seems he is not progressing and that was a condition of his being here, that he improve his life, not veg. While he has been working for us, he has done nothing to improve his life. Now that is a condition. We require that he get treatment and implement and work towards goals.</p><p></p><p>Today he is calling various treatment options, including his insurance to see what is possible. And maybe more. I know he is doing that because a past insurance company called me (it is my insurance.) I am fully prepared to insist he leave if he does not follow through. I am ready to do so. He was gone from our home for over 4 years while he was homeless in 4 or 5 counties for at least half that time. The rest of the time he depended upon the kindness of other people until he wore out his welcome. So I do understand your situation, as it is more or less equivalent to my own.</p><p>I know. That is exactly where we are. But our bottom line is he needs to find support in the community to work through or to assist him with his limitations. I am not a spring chicken. He has to find a way to live in the world without me. Because that will be his life one day.</p><p>Many of us have had to live with and confront this, that either because of drug addiction or unwise choices, criminality or illness--that we may have to face the illness and death of our child and go on. I am one of them. My son has a chronic illness which requires treatment, or he will die. He believes he can control it through diet and lifestyle choices. No physician I have ever spoken too, believes this is the case. He refuses to take the medication that will slow the progression of his disease, put it in remission.</p><p></p><p>A turning point for me was when <em>I</em> realized that I had no control over his living or dying. None. And when you think about it, what parent does have that control over an adult child? Look at JFK Jr., whose arrogance and risk-taking and sense of his own invulnerability killed himself and 2 other sisters. Did those parents ultimately have any control over the fate of their 2 daughters? No. Our situation is little different.</p><p></p><p>Your son will either learn to make better choices and make them, or he will not. You can either accept that you cannot control his living or dying, or not. Your choice.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you are back and hope that you keep posting. Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 695109, member: 18958"] Hi lonelyone and welcome back. I worry about my anonymity too, not because family members will find me but because I have a profession, where I am supposed[I] to know better and do better.[/I] I have come to the decision for me, that I am human. That disclosing such should neither surprise anybody nor give them an advantage over me. Because, after all they are too--human.Good. Well. We are in the same situation. My son, now 27, receives SSI for mental illness. He has been here for about 5 or 6 months, and we have reached a crossroads because it seems he is not progressing and that was a condition of his being here, that he improve his life, not veg. While he has been working for us, he has done nothing to improve his life. Now that is a condition. We require that he get treatment and implement and work towards goals. Today he is calling various treatment options, including his insurance to see what is possible. And maybe more. I know he is doing that because a past insurance company called me (it is my insurance.) I am fully prepared to insist he leave if he does not follow through. I am ready to do so. He was gone from our home for over 4 years while he was homeless in 4 or 5 counties for at least half that time. The rest of the time he depended upon the kindness of other people until he wore out his welcome. So I do understand your situation, as it is more or less equivalent to my own. I know. That is exactly where we are. But our bottom line is he needs to find support in the community to work through or to assist him with his limitations. I am not a spring chicken. He has to find a way to live in the world without me. Because that will be his life one day. Many of us have had to live with and confront this, that either because of drug addiction or unwise choices, criminality or illness--that we may have to face the illness and death of our child and go on. I am one of them. My son has a chronic illness which requires treatment, or he will die. He believes he can control it through diet and lifestyle choices. No physician I have ever spoken too, believes this is the case. He refuses to take the medication that will slow the progression of his disease, put it in remission. A turning point for me was when [I]I[/I] realized that I had no control over his living or dying. None. And when you think about it, what parent does have that control over an adult child? Look at JFK Jr., whose arrogance and risk-taking and sense of his own invulnerability killed himself and 2 other sisters. Did those parents ultimately have any control over the fate of their 2 daughters? No. Our situation is little different. Your son will either learn to make better choices and make them, or he will not. You can either accept that you cannot control his living or dying, or not. Your choice. I am glad you are back and hope that you keep posting. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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