Sigh difficult children distorted thinking

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by bby31288, Jan 23, 2011.

  1. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    difficult child has been so gooooood. She is more typical teen then anything. But of course there is always a but. The motor on her Hyundai Tiburon just blew. Now she needs a car because she is going to school, Culinary Team practice, cheer practice and work.

    So husband and I go looking for a car. We ended up with a 03 PT Cruiser with 122,000 miles for 4,000$. Runs great, good tires, good engine, good transmission. We buy it. She is now throwing a fit because it is "ugly" looks like a herse. She won't drive it. How could I go and buy something like that for her.

    husband is peeved to say that nicely....sigh. Why can't our difficult children just be thankful.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hey, if she doesn't want it can I have it?

    Just wait until she figures out how much stuff you can cram into a PT cruiser!! My mom went antiquing with a friend in my dad's PT Cruiser - she put all their stuff PLUS a truly massive dresser in it and still had room to buy a table!

    Be careful - they don't look like teen cars so she will be less likely to get pulled over unless she drives recklessly. I had a similar car - Ford Fairmont station Wagon - in hs and was the ONLY kid who could haul around a keg with-o getting pulled over. With a blanket over it I never got a second look from the cops. Kids in vans did, and in trucks. But not me - and the cops knew that I sold beer at work! WHile I didn't drink I did make some extra $$ delivering kegs for parties once or twice a year. My parents only found out after I had kids because I told them, lol. I was the GOOD kid who almost NEVER got into trouble. ALL of my friends' parents loved me and if they were with me they could stay out later and go places that they couldn't alone or with other kids. LOLOL!!

    She needs to be grateful that she HAS a car. I had to drive my mom's and if I wanted the car I had to do the errands - most of them - as part of my payment for using the car. Plus pay for gas, etc...

    Make her walk or bum a ride to her activities, ride the bus to school, etc... until she can be properly appreciative for the vehicle, the insurance, the gas and maintenance, and the generosity of her parents. Keep the keys locked away until she EARNS the right to drive a car with her behavior and choices.

    If that means that she has to drop an activity, well, it is her CHOICE. If it means she has to bum rides or walk, well, again, her CHOICE. Driving is a privilege and having a car is a HUGE privilege - it is NOT NOT NOT something she is ENTITLED to, regardless of what her friends have. If she decides she really NEEDS a car and that the one you bought will NOT do, let her get a job and earn the $$ to buy one (and make her put it in your name until she is 18!). Also let her WALK to work.

    I hope she learns to be appreciative fairly soon.

    Reading "Parenting Your Teens with love and Logic" would be really helpful to you, in my opinion. They have awsome ways to handle teens and their behaviors - and they are effective and fairly easy on the parents!
  3. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    My response to her would be "take it or leave it!" If she doesn't want it after you were nice enough to buy her a vehicle, take it back or resell it.
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    that would be exactly my little witchy easy child's type of response. yea id say same with that teenage all me me me **** thinking............ lol someday someday you'll get mom you were awesome thanks for everything. :)
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    If we hadn't gotten the truck for free, Miss KT would have been doing a lot more walking and bus riding. But when she needed gas money too often, or there was some reason she could not drive, I pointed out, "You got feet, kid. Use 'em."
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I never bought cars for any of my kids. They either walked or got rides or didn't get to participate. If I did buy a car and got that kind of response, I'd sell it. She doesn't have a right to a car. You bought her a generous gift.
  7. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Well geez! You spent four grand and have the nerve to expect a "thank you" ?...


    I guess you could always turn around and give the car to somebody who would appreciate it...see what difficult child thinks then.
  8. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    When my kids were that age I was newly divorced and in no position financially to go out and buy either one of them a car, and even if I were, I'm not so sure I would have done it. They both worked parttime jobs in high school to pay for their first vehicles and it didn't hurt them a bit. They both grew up with no sense of entitlement, both have a terrific work ethic and are very responsible, and both still know the value of a dollar. Their first vehicles may not have been the greatest but they earned the money for them by themselves and were very proud of them! It makes a big difference.
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2011
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I know how you feel... Onyxx has finally figured out that we're NOT buying her a car.

    The deal (since forever) has been - she puts allowance in her savings, we match it, and then we see what she can get for it.

    She's "saved" about $40, plus another chunk grandparents have put in. So with us matching her account, she has $150 for a car.

    That's gonna be fun. I think you can get one of those Power Wheels for about $150, used.
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hey Step, maybe you should give her the "matching amount" in the form of a book on how to fix cars and a handful of parts so she can start to build her own 1 piece at a time. LOL - would LOVE to see her reaction to that!! Talk about something guaranteed to make her think that you have gone totally around the bend.
  11. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Generous is an understatement. Wow. I drive a 2002 Camry with over 200k miles on it. And I have a great job and make good money....she should be more than thankful. Generous is an understatement. i surely wouldn't buy either one of my children a car. That is something they will have to work for and earn.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I thought Cruisers were cool looking! I almost got one when I bought my car.
  13. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Cruisers are cute. They look like they should say "Matchbox" on the bottom, but in a cute way.
    I'd be overjoyed to have someone replace my beat to h.... mid 90s SUV with something newer and more reliable. I'd really love a huge truck with a cow catcher on the front for those idiot drivers, but the gas would break me. :p