*Sigh* need advice regarding Copper (LONG)

[totoro]

I wish I could answer this riddle for you. I wish my Mother had cared as much as you. Her answer was always to run. My Bio-Father the same... I was adopted as well...
I was caught up in the drama of Mom, Bio-Dad and Adopted Dad... what were the lies and who was telling the truth?
I am still figuring it all out.
My Father was not a good person. It has taken me 38 years to start to get to know him, I still am taking it very slowly.
All I can tell you is that despite all of the horrible things my Mother did, the 9 years I knew her, I would not ever give it back.
My Adopted Father, He did some pretty horrible things as well, I spent 8 years with him. But I have lots of great memories as well and we actually have a good relationship now. We have both grown and learned from each other. I would not change this either despite the pain.
My bio-Father was the worst, in and out of prison, the drugs, the mental abuse... on and on. But I think I have learned the most from him. Will we ever be perfect? Will we ever be Father and Daughter? I doubt it, but we may be friends...
I think we are stronger than we could ever believe, you are stronger than you realize.
I don't know the answers, but I do know that I would not change a thing. Despite my parents mistakes... I could never hold a grudge against them. They were young and they were trying with what they had, all that they had.
I know you are doing everything... take some time, the answers will come to you.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

*long sigh*

I've been lurking, but really not up to posting over the past week. This situation has literally knocked the wind out of me, and I have been feeling like I don't have a whole heck of a lot to offer.

I did finally talk to my mom about this. She was way cool about it. Her biggest concern was my mental health. Yay, mom. I gotta tell you, it's been hell. On top of this, I've been titrating off of Topamax because I can't afford it, and I've been tired and crabby. Tink is ready to move out.

So I did a little digging. I found K on a site called Linkedin (like Myspace or Facebook but for business purposes) and learned that he is a member of his town Jaycees. I went to that website and got an email address for him, and I sent him a note asking him to contact me. There were even some pictures of him on the website. I think maybe if Copper had a beard, I could better tell if she looked more like K or J.

Have not heard back yet, but I have no idea how often he checks the Jaycee's email. If/when I do hear back, I will talk to him and see if he wants to pursue a DNA test. And then I will go from there.

Thanks again, one and all, for your support and caring.

 

[totoro]

Hugs to you and that stupid expensive Topamax!!! I have to take it also!!!
Hang in there...

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

BBK,

Sorry I'm so late reading this!!! I think the others have given you excellent, heart-felt advice. Everyone has good reasons for their feelings. I really don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes. It's got to be HE77!!! I just want you to know I'm thinking of you...

Anyway, I hope K contacts you!!! If you want to know whether J or K is Copper's real father, I hope K agrees to a DNA test. Whatever the outcome, you know we're here for you!!!

I'm really sorry I'm not much help in this situation. Sending lots of hugs... WFEN

 

[SONS GONE WILD]

BBK, I've been following your story and wish you all the best in this situation. I can't even imagine. . . no advice, just hugs. . . off the subject though about the Topamax - I hear that drug manufacturers sometimes give medications free if you can't afford them. I don't know the details of this, but it might be worth looking in to. You might find info on their website to begin with. Take care of yourself.