Sigh. Other plans. No engagement.

[TerryJ2]

Well, I got all excited for nothing. I thought they were getting engaged. But they want to live together. In Richmond. Arrrgh. easy child would get a promise ring, and an engagement ring later.
She got an email today from school, telling her about an internship with-the foster care system in Richmond, 3 days a wk. She has classes in Alexandria 2 days a wk.
husband told K that he is against their living together but that they are adults and can decide on their own. He emphasized that easy child MUST finish her master's before anything final happens. He said they had a good time and good sushi.
I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
Thank you all for getting so excited along with me.

 

[klmno]

Not what you wanted but maybe not so bad. I think I'd not buck it ---the boy was respectful and polite enough to discuss it with her father, sounds like a reasonable plan given their youth and that she still has education she wants to complete, and given the divorce rate in our country. I don't think these are such bad ideas really....just MHO.

 

[klmno]

IOW- they are trying to take it slow but still willing to go thru appropriate steps- and living together anymore is not something you can have too much weight in winning, if that makes sense.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Bummer.

I'm with husband - not crazy about it, but they are adults. I have to tell you that my nieces and nephews and the kids of my friends who are in their 20's, etc. and in long term relationships have all chosen to live together. They save a lot of money sharing an apartment, they cultivate their careers and there is zero stigma about it these days. Several of them got engaged recently, and the weddings will be in 2014, so at least they DO get married.

 

[witzend]

I hope that they will be able to make this work. easy child has a good head on her shoulders. Even if she decides that commuting is the way to go, that is probably the best way for her to learn that lesson. Gentle hugs...

 

[Lothlorien]

Well, it's admirable that he had this discussion with husband. Not what you hoped for, but he seems like a decent guy. I hope this works out for easy child.

 

[Hound dog]

You know, I know you're disappointed, but honestly.........I think the kids are being rather responsible not to be rushing into an engagement with school and all that.

I hope their plans work out well for them and easy child follows through with her master's.

((hugs))

 

[DammitJanet]

Im....sorry you didnt get the engagement you wanted but I do think this may be for the best. Her internship sounds like a wonderful. Like others have said, living together doesnt have the stigma anymore that it used to and it will let them save money plus get to know each other in a much more intimate way than they ever could before. Like Dr Phil says, you should never marry someone until you have had to clean up after them when they have the flu...lol. That is the litmus test. If you think about it, its true.

 

[dstc_99]

**** Richmond to Alexandria is a hell of a commute. I do know they have buses that travel that on a daily basis she could sign up for one of those so that she can rest and ride instead of steam and drive. When I lived there I had a friend who lived in Richmond and worked in Alexandria and she did a bus every day.

LOL Can you tell I lived in Alexandria for 3 yrs? I hated I-95 and the traffic. Plus it is hell on your car.

 

[TerryJ2]

Thank you all.
Yes, dstc, THAT's the main point. Aside from my being a tad disappointed . They have NO idea about the complications and distance. They are going together to ride the train back and forth this summer to find out exactly what it entails. He is much better about schedules and timing than she is so it's good if he goes along.

 

[DammitJanet]

Yeah Richmond to Alexandria is a drive. Its not so much the distance as the traffic. I would definitely take the train. Maybe they could get more towards the Kings Dominion area to put them as far north as possible.

 

[TerryJ2]

Janet, she said that next yr she may have an internship in Fredericksburg. But that's next yr ... right now, I'm just trying to get her to finish getting her photos printed for her grad announcements. One things at a time.

 

[svengandhi]

In NY, if you marry before getting your degrees and your spouse helps and supports you during it, they can get a portion of your earnings in a divorce. I have taught all of my kids not to even think about getting married before they are set in a career.

As for your daughter and her beau, it sounds like they both have good heads on their shoulders and they will do fine.