Sigh - SO worried about difficult child!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by JKF, Jan 16, 2013.

  1. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    difficult child has been saying and posting some really dark things in the last couple of days. A lot of it is based around his deep seeded hatred for his father. He also keeps hinting at suicide. Writing that he's better off dead, he should have been aborted, why was he born, life sucks, he doesn't deserve life or love, he can never be helped, etc. He keeps posting very dark poetry on Facebook as well. It's so weird bc one minute he seems fine - joking and lighthearted and the very next minute he's off on these rants about how much he hates life. I have tried to reach out to the court and shelter director. The court never got back to me and the shelter director said they are doing everything they can but it takes time. He did get his ID today so that's a step in the right direction. He will be able to get services easier since he has an ID.

    I feel so helpless right now. I know he's suffering and is in so much emotional pain and I don't know how to help him. It makes me so so so sad. I'm so scared he's going to snap and hurt himself. Please pray for him. And if praying isn't your thing then please send some positive vibes his way. Even though he doesn't know it he needs all of the support, prayers, and good vibes he can get.
  2. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Not sure how far out he is from having a placement but... If he is posting about suicide, you could print out his FB page, call crisis and have him taken to the hospital. I was told any threat of suicide must be taken seriously by professionals. -RM
  3. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    RM - he left his placement in October and took off with a girl to another state. He got in big trouble there and has to stay in that state until his legal troubles are resolved. He's basically homeless but staying in a very good shelter there. He's been unmedicated for 3 months now and is getting worse and worse every day. I am going to do some screen shots of the FB page and send them to the court appointed mental health liaison. I hope he takes it seriously and difficult child can get some help ASAP!
  4. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    What a worry!

    Can the judge not require difficult child to take his medications?
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    praying for you both
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Even if he has to stay there, he can go to the nearest psychiatric ER for help. Or call 911 and be transported.

    praying for him and you.
  7. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Praying for your difficult child and for you............and sending some real positive vibes to both of you............(((HUGS))))
  8. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    He won't go to the ER. I asked him to go and he said why bother. I'm going to send his posts to the mental health liaison today and see what happens. All I know is that he needs help. He feels hopeless and is obviously in a lot of emotional pain. So scary and so sad :,(
  9. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I am glad you are going to send the FB pages to someone who might be able to help. I know this is so hard on you but try to breathe. Hoping that either the shelter or the MH liason can get him help. -RM
  10. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    It's weird because one minute he's happy and joking and the very next minute he's depressed and suicidal. Today so far he's fine because he is going to the library to get a library card now that he got his ID yesterday. That's good because it gives him something to do today but he really needs help because these rapid cycle mood swings are horrible. I don't know how others around him can't see that.
  11. JKF - I am so sorry you and your son are going through this. You described my sons behaviour last summer to a T - I can relate to what you are going through right now and want to reach out with a big cyberhug for you.

    I think that if the MH liaison doesn't do anything I might send that stuff right to the police in his area and ask them to pick him up. It is also my understanding that any threat of suicide is immediate cause for an involuntary 72 hour hold.

    I will keep you both in my prayers.
  12. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Well I never heard back from the MH liaison. I emailed twice and called and left 3 messages. Nothing. Ugggh! I spoke with the shelter director and told her I'm worried and she said they are working really really hard on getting him MH help. In the meantime - he has agreed that if he feels suicidal he will go to the ER. I believe him. I don't think he really wants to die. He just wants help and wants things to get better. Hopefully once he's on the right medications things will get better.

    So anyway, I've been trying to think of anything that might help him gain some self confidence and feel like he has some control over his life. Something to keep him busy and out of trouble. He's a talented artist and he's a genius with computers. We were talking last night and it came to me - web design classes. I ran the idea past him and he loves it! He went to the community college today and applied. He has to go back at 1:30 to talk to the administrators and then go to the Financial Aid office. I'm happy that he's taking some steps to help himself and I'm proud of his determination. No matter what happened in the past or will happen in the future - I love him with all of my heart and I want the very best for him.
  13. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    JFK, you're such a good mom, what a splendid idea you had. I will keep you and your boy in my prayers...........hugs............
  14. JKF - What a wonderful idea! It gives your difficult child something to occupy his time and it sounds like it's a perfect fit for him. Additionally it lets him know that you have faith and confidence in him and his abilities. I think on some level our kids want to know that we think they are 'basically ok', even if they're not.

    Big hugs to you!
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    really love that! I will pray for this to work out for him!
  16. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Sounds like a great idea. -RM
  17. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    JFK - I usually post over in the Substance Abuse forum but my situation has been very similar to yours. My son left a program with a girl, travelled around and was homeless and posting crazy scary stuff on FB!! One thing I did discover at one point is that some of the more eloquent but scariest posts were lines from songs.... so do google lines from his FB posts to check to see if they are song lyrics. A lot of the kids do that, post song lyrics.

    I think it is really important and a good sign that he is staying in touch with you... Believe me I know how hard and scary this is. Hopefully he will realize soon that he really needs to go for help.

  18. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Sorry I haven't been around. I have the flu and an ear infection in my left ear so I've been out of commission.

    Anyway I appreciate all of your kind words. I do try to be a good mom although sometimes I feel like a total failure.

    So over the last few days difficult child has taken steps forward and back. He is happy one minute and raging the next. Wants a good future one minute and then it's "F" the world the next. Loves life then hates life. Uggggggh! It's like a nonstop yo-yo and it literally makes me dizzy!

    He's still writing dark poetry and disturbing things on FB. A few things are song lyrics but the majority comes from the dark disturbed depths of his mind. He doesn't understand why nobody responds to him on FB but I don't blame his "friends" for not responding. There's really nothing one can say in response to some of the things he writes. He pushes people away because he doesn't understand boundaries and then gets mad because he thinks everyone hates him. It's so sad. Right now he really is all alone in the world and it crushes me. I wish he knew how much he needs help but he thinks he's fine. In his mind it's everyone else who's the problem.

    Still praying that he gets medications soon! He's definitely bipolar and possibly Aspie and at this point I'm 99.999% sure he's schizoaffective as well. :(