Shari, we went through something similar with difficult child twice this year. Once in February when we had a car accident, with both difficult child and easy child in the car, and in June when I was bitten by a dog and wound up in the hospital with a massive infection. difficult child had a very hard time dealing with both of those things when they occured. He was scared. In the car accident he knew that we all could have been hurt (thankfully, no one was). After I was bitten by the dog he had a very hard time when I went out by myself. One time he even waited up for me and when I came home wanted to know why I was home so late (10:00 pm) because he was getting worried that something happened to me. husband tried to explain to him that this was a normal time for me to come home, but he needed to see that I came home in one piece.
I think that Wee just needs time. You were in an accident, which is traumatic enough, but you were also hurt and had to have surgery and when he sees you he is reminded every day that you were hurt. Aren't moms supposed to be indesctuctible?
Pam