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Since the topic came up, do you feel you were too harsh with your child as a child?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 623378" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>No, MWM! I was like, PTA, Brownies and Girl Scout leader, Great Books teacher, Cub Scout Den Mother. Our house was like, the favorite hangout.</p><p></p><p>I loved being a mom, loved the cooking and the parties and the holidays.</p><p>I even loved the ironing.</p><p></p><p>I was smug and judgmental and thought I was the best mom, with the best family, in the world. I read all the parenting books, took the parenting classes, all that stuff.</p><p></p><p>I took my identity from being a mother.</p><p></p><p>That is why I fell apart when my family did.</p><p></p><p>I failed at my chosen profession.</p><p></p><p>Failed.</p><p></p><p>It took me such a long time to rebuild my self concept. I am still working that one out. That is why I am always posting about that imaginary mom who is so strong, so casual and tough with her kids that she never takes on that mothering role as who she is. I think about what a difference it would have made for my kids, if I had been that way. That is the source of my guilt. That I was so busy being the role that I was a bad mom where it counted ~ in the strictness department.</p><p></p><p>I'm working really hard on letting that go and just being enough in myself.</p><p></p><p>Even if I was a crummy mom.</p><p></p><p>Ew.</p><p></p><p>I still FB with the friends of both my son and my daughter. Not the friends they developed once the drug use began (well, except for one or two of daughters), but the friends they had when they were little.</p><p></p><p>I feel (and husband agrees) that I was nowhere near strict enough. He feels the kids were raised with such a sense of entitlement that they are not strong enough to face continuing challenge.</p><p></p><p>I don't know what I think. Mostly, I cannot think about my life like that too much. It breaks my heart, to realize everything that is lost.</p><p></p><p>But I think I am past that part. I decide to create life from here, life as it can be, and as it is becoming.</p><p></p><p>Still, I miss all those things I thought I would have.</p><p></p><p>It's the stupidest thing, really. I always thought I would be that mom in the television commercials for FTD florist, you know? I would be setting the table for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and my FTD bouquet would arrive.</p><p></p><p>Then I would light the candles, and here would come the kids.</p><p></p><p>I love that imagery.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 623378, member: 17461"] No, MWM! I was like, PTA, Brownies and Girl Scout leader, Great Books teacher, Cub Scout Den Mother. Our house was like, the favorite hangout. I loved being a mom, loved the cooking and the parties and the holidays. I even loved the ironing. I was smug and judgmental and thought I was the best mom, with the best family, in the world. I read all the parenting books, took the parenting classes, all that stuff. I took my identity from being a mother. That is why I fell apart when my family did. I failed at my chosen profession. Failed. It took me such a long time to rebuild my self concept. I am still working that one out. That is why I am always posting about that imaginary mom who is so strong, so casual and tough with her kids that she never takes on that mothering role as who she is. I think about what a difference it would have made for my kids, if I had been that way. That is the source of my guilt. That I was so busy being the role that I was a bad mom where it counted ~ in the strictness department. I'm working really hard on letting that go and just being enough in myself. Even if I was a crummy mom. Ew. I still FB with the friends of both my son and my daughter. Not the friends they developed once the drug use began (well, except for one or two of daughters), but the friends they had when they were little. I feel (and husband agrees) that I was nowhere near strict enough. He feels the kids were raised with such a sense of entitlement that they are not strong enough to face continuing challenge. I don't know what I think. Mostly, I cannot think about my life like that too much. It breaks my heart, to realize everything that is lost. But I think I am past that part. I decide to create life from here, life as it can be, and as it is becoming. Still, I miss all those things I thought I would have. It's the stupidest thing, really. I always thought I would be that mom in the television commercials for FTD florist, you know? I would be setting the table for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and my FTD bouquet would arrive. Then I would light the candles, and here would come the kids. I love that imagery. :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Since the topic came up, do you feel you were too harsh with your child as a child?
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