Single Parenting and the mom of eight, well, fourteen

[Marcie Mac]

Lisa, those treatments are not covered by the state - she paid for them herself. I think the price is somewhere between 20,000 and 25,000 a shot. And am thinking this is part of the reason her mom and dad have claimed bankruptcy.

The State Ethics board is already asking questions of this doctor and why he/she did this. No one knows who he/she is and they are keeping their head way down because even the reporters so far have not been able to find out....yet. They should be made to foot part of the bill for the babies care ONLY because they knew she had seven children already and didn't refuse to do this. Any takers on a bet she will sue this clinic herself?

The running total for the hospital bill is over 1.5 mother in law. She is not a member of that hospital group, so unless they are doing this out of the goodness of their heart, the state is going to get a very large bill. And while she has said she had no plans to be a, and I quote " welfare mom" , she will be able to tap, and probably is very savy at it, the very financially strapped programs we have here in Ca, who by the way is tetering on bankruptcy as it is.

I still don't think we should be imposing any limits on how many kids you have or how many eggs you implant, but I think there should be an exception that is tied in when you already have say maybe 5 or 6, no means of support for the ones you have AND you and want more. A lot of questions and a heavy duty psychiatric exam should be mandatory.

It still always amazes me when people decide to make a public showing of themselves and end up being agast that closets are going to be flung open and rugs are moved to show the dirt underneath.

Her PR people have their work cut out for them thats for sure

Marcie

 

[DammitJanet]

I was aghast at this story and turned around to ask Tony if he had heard about it. Imagine my surprise when my non-news watching husband told me he had and that his mother had the same syndrome this weird woman had!

Tony's mom grew up as an only child (long story) and she always wanted a dozen kids. Yes...12. She almost got her wish...she had 9. Three died...a set of twin girls and a little boy. After her 9th child, a boy, she gave up and tied her tubes. In 1978, she died. I think she finally gave up after number nine because she couldnt get anymore girls...lol.

I never met this woman but I wish I had. From what I have been told she was really fantastic. She never had any help from the state. My husband grew up poor as hell. They had little but his parents adored all those kids. His father was in the home...it was a two parent family. His mom was full blooded Indian. His dad was a quarter. We live around his moms family now. I honestly think I got the pick of the litter....lol.

 

[ctmom05]

Ms Suleman is not the only irresponsible party in choosing the road she is on; what about the medical professionals who provided the fertility treatment?

 

[Star*]

I was thinking like Nancy

WHY would a Dr. even CONSIDER doing this for a single parent with no viable means of income? Her parents MUST be incredibly well off.

AND - if she's been on disability for back pain - UM (knock knock) isn't labor the MAJOR Mother of all back pains? So yeah - kinda doubt that she even had pain to a level of disability to begin with.

One newspaper article I read said she was NOT asking or applying for Welfare....but you have to wonder what asking your parents and your church for financial assistance is?

I feel most sorry for the children - truly they didn't ask to be born into this world.

I can't throw stones at her, because if she truly is mentally ill? Then she is mentally ill. So I guess my question is - IF she IS mentally ill - where are the people that surround her that are supposed to watch and help? IF this were a teen pregnancy with a difficult child/mentally ill person that's one thing, but she HAD to have funding from somewhere to do fertility counseling and the actual fertility deal - and if she's unemployed and raising 6 kids - SOMEONE had to give her that money. IF they knew she was mentally ill....WHY did they do it?

There are many unanswered questions here -

 

[susiestar]

I think the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is part of the reason for so many kids. I think it is criminal to have that many more embryos implanted when you already have so many kids. It is like she just couldn't stop.

I grew up surrounded by Catholic families who did not believe in BC and had very large families, but they did not ask companies and the state to support them. the families were 2 parent and they WORKED.

I think this woman needs to be closely, CLOSELY monitored for Munchausen by Proxy syndrome as she is in such need for attention. I think this is what scares me the most about this. That she will make some of the babies sick on purpose because she wants attention and $$.

This is just a glaring example of how the system can totally fail.

 

[alongfortheride]

When I was growing up all the families in the neighborhood had 4 - 6 kids. Each family had 1 difficult child to some degree or another. I though I would cut my odds of having a difficult child if I stopped at 2. Go figure, it didn't work! Let me tell you, her odds really ****!

 

[donna723]

I honestly think that her parents must be as 'off center' as she is! I am assuming that they have been supporting her and her previous six children all along, and that they have been the ones paying for her to have these in vitro infertility treatments. In vitro is horribly expensive and most medical insurance plans don't cover any kind if infertility treatments. So if they didn't want her to have all these children, why on earth did they pay for her to go back again and again and have more and more kids?

And they had all that money to pay for her to have in vitro all those times, but now must rely on help from their church just to buy diapers and baby food? Doesn't make much sense. Just thinking outloud here, but do you suppose that maybe the parents thought too that this would make her rich and famous and that maybe she'd get her own TV show?

 

[Ropefree]

If she wasn't paranoid befor now she may really think that everyone is talking about her, watching her every move, out to catch her doing something wrong. hopefully she does have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and constantly counts her children so she doesn't let one wander off.
what do you do write the date and time on the diaper just in case? And it is really a bonus that she has been in pain as she will be now and tired beyond any hope.
In my view the woman with four having five hasn't had enough sleep and doesn't know what she is saying.
The whole buy a baby thing bugs me. Trading in sperms, buying human eggs, suragates, adopting for pay amounts. donor dads. "not realy my kid i just gave my sperm. I don't know those kids...i don't know her"
It is times like this when it is so much easier being me. I have none of those problems. but thanks to veiwer interested we will very likely see lots lots more of single mom, sperm donor and fourteen kids. One more round like that and she may be single mom, sperm donor and twenty two kids.
watch now we will have the secret society of single moms with multiples coming out of our ears. the multiple families will split off and form a channel all their own. and then those channels will spit off and it will be secular multiple families (single momsand multiples, single dads and multiples, gays and multiples, over 50 first time moms with multiples) and the faith based large and growing families.
And I can watch it with my feet up.
Or turn it off and have a nice quiet refreashing nap.

 

[susiestar]

One of the articles I read mentioned her parents filing bankruptcy. Hmmmm. Wonder why?

I do agree that they must be "off center" also. As a mother I would have had to say - GET A JOB, and no more kids in my home until you are working full time.

Having children while you are on disability for back problems is NOT a smart move. Esp because disability doesn't last forever.

Maybe if it was easier to get mental health care she would have gotten some help before this point.. Or her doctor would have gotten help before he/she did the procedure all those times on a woman who was not able to support her family as it was.

 

[klmno]

I heard the the parents gave her the money for a downpayment on a house, then hit hard times shortly afterwards and had to file bankruptcy and move in with her.

That was cute ropefree- about having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and counting her kids!

 

[Hound dog]

Obviously this woman never watched the show "Eight is Enough" lol

Parents footing the bill for the invitro is better than the state.......but not by much. Ok, maybe if she didn't have kids already and really wanted one....but if my kid already had 6 and came to me asking me to fund it I'm afraid I'd laugh at them.

I've always had issues with the egg/sperm donor thing. Not that I think it's bad. Cuz it can be a very good thing for childless couples. BUT I've always wondered how interesting it would be to watch parents responding to requests to meet birth parents. "uh, sorry Jane, haven't a clue who Dad is.......never met the guy...." That has to make a kid feel good. And since many of these donors tend to be college age........can you see them in their 40's having all these kids hunting them down to "connect"?

The biggest problem is that science has soared ahead and our culture hasn't had time to catch up and cope with issue as it comes up. There needs to be better regulation, but how, what area, and how much? At least with adoption the potential parents are investigated to make sure the child will be cared for properly. That's not the case with any fertilization treatment. While in many cases it wouldn't be an issue......say if easy child and sister in law chose to do it.....with others like this woman, it would prevent 8 births that were unnecessary that she can't support to begin with.

And I've been worried with the whole tv show thing for awhile. There are always those in society who will do anything for 15 mins of fame.

 

[Genny]

The sad thing is, she couldn't have adopted because she wouldn't have qualified! She would have to prove that she is capable of supporting and raising the child - a single child - and she can't. How it is legally possible for a doctor to implant 8 embryos into a single mother with six kids and no source of income is beyond me.

 

[Ropefree]

How is it legally possible? Answer private practice, cash payment.

 

[C.J.]

I'm thinking CPS will be involved as soon as the babies are healthy enough to leave the hospital. Does she have a vehicle large enough to transport them? Car seats, cribs, food, medical attention?

I volunteer in the nursery at church every Sunday. We have a mandated 1 adult / 3 baby ratio. Yesterday, there were two adults, and five babies. Three got hungry at the same time, one needed a diaper change, another who was beginning to pull himself up on the furniture fell on his bottom, then hit his head on the floor. He began to cry, which then set off the rest of the "choir".

This woman was the topic in that room yesterday, and I was only in there for ninety minutes.

 

[donna723]

It may not be illegal to implant someone with eight embryos, but they have said that it would go against the guidelines adhered to by the organization of reproductive specialists (forgot the exact name of the organization now). They would consider that to be unethical and to be putting both the mother and the resulting babies at a very high risk.

I would think that refusing to implant embryos in certain patients would be sort of along the lines of a minister refusing to perform a marriage ceremony for certain couples, if he has very good reasons not to. It may not be 'illegal' for a doctor to implant someone with multiples who has no resources to care for them, but it is "unethical".

Just because you CAN do something doesn't necessarily mean that you SHOULD!

 

[klmno]

I just ran across this article- it answers a lot of questions:

http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-health/20090209/Octuplets/

 

[Star*]

I was not feeling well with migraine - so home to scoop the good news and saw her grandmother on the news telling the world that she is old, tired and has bunk beds in her 3 room apt. and can't wait for this woman to get her mess together so she at 80 something can have a life and stop babysitting for her. OMG......how could you do that to your grandma?

The apt. was very tiny, the woman was obviously elderly and tired.

 

[Nomad]

I just have to get this off my chest. I heard about this story while in a public place. Previously, I had only heard bits and pieces. About the 8 children being born. Then I heard she wasn't married. Then I heard she had six (or 7???) previous children. THEN...the floodgates opened while I was out in public about the interview. I didn't do too well. In recent times, I have prided myself on keeping myself calm. Lots going on...many good things. However, this story really bothered me and it showed. So many questions, including those involing ethics. So much faulty thinking...so much potential for loss and heartache. I do wonder how and where this originiated. Also, will there be accountability? Yes...this entire situation is unsettling to say the least.

 

[DazedandConfused]

I've always had issues with the egg/sperm donor thing. Not that I think it's bad. Cuz it can be a very good thing for childless couples. BUT I've always wondered how interesting it would be to watch parents responding to requests to meet birth parents. "uh, sorry Jane, haven't a clue who Dad is.......never met the guy...." That has to make a kid feel good. And since many of these donors tend to be college age........can you see them in their 40's having all these kids hunting them down to "connect"?

I think this is what I have the most difficulty with. For someone, ANYONE, to deliberately create a human being without a father (or mother as in gay couples) is deplorable. Can you imagine BEING that child?

Plus, here's another issue I have with it. How on earth can a mother teach her son, that she chose not to have a father for him, that HIS role as a father is important if she didn't think it was important enough for HER OWN CHILD.

That one really chaps my hide. Then, I will hear, ALA HOLLYWOOD, "I have enough money and can raise it on my own". As if her $$$ takes the place of having a father. Talk about marginalization.

I think that even hetero couples need to really carefully consider the consequences of making a kid in a test tube that is not of their own genes, or having a surrogate. People act as if it is nothing, but there is a human being who is going to be a teenager and eventually an adult and they are going to have to deal and live with the choices made and had no say in making. I wonder if those parents can see through their own desperation to have a child to consider what it might be like and the ramifications.

As for this particular women, I am truly disgusted. I do not believe in legislation to "limit" children, but I think that cases like this is going to force laws to catch up with technology. Where that is going to go, I don't know.

 

[Marcie Mac]

Good grief - new information that was revealed tonight

Apparently three of her original 6 have disabilities. Honestly, the more I hear her views, the more I am convinced she is, as my X says, a few pence short of a pound" (american translation is not playing with a full deck)

I wonder if her PR person (and this has got to set a precedent - a mom on food stamps having a PR person) is rethinking the "PR" part and is going to go into a "damage control" mode.

Honestly at this point, I don't think our CPS is going to be looking the other way much longer and they are going to come in and take all of the kids off her. The more stuff that comes out of her mouth, the less sense she makes.

According to her mother, she is not too involved with the ones she has, other than spending all her money to purchase toys, and the elderly mom is the main caregiver.

Nope, no way this is going to end well for this mom of 14

Marcie