Single Parenting and the mom of eight, well, fourteen

susiestar

Roll With It
This woman is a whack job. I thought from the beginning that there was something wrong with her.

Now we see her having her parents and grandparents be totally against this, she has a PR person AND gets food stamps? she doesn't work and refused to marry the father because she wanted the kids all to herself?

I have cousins who used fertility treatments. It is my dad's cousin, but they have a son with-in a year of Wiz' age. He was born with-o fertility treatments. Then they went through 6 various rounds of fertility treatments to have their twins. The dad (my relative) has now been through rehab 4 times. At the time of conception he had a pot plant in the living room. His wife truly is naive enough to just think it was a house plant that he took really good care of, trimming and stuff. She is from a VERY religious family who would disown her if she divorces him. And she has these twins with a man who will not hold a job, has major drug and alcohol problems, and now her oldest son and his girlfriend are pregnant.

I was against them doing fertility. They got all their medications free because she has a sister who works at a clinic and often people go on a Mexican vacation and get the fertility medications there and get more than they need. Then they donate the extra medications. Well, my cousin's wife got all those medications. But because he won't work they almost lost the house, she has had to carry such a load because he couldn't even be trusted to be left at home with the kids while she worked.

So I have had some bias against fertility clinics for not doing enough background and psychological testing on the parents for a while. I honestly think fertility clinics should be held to the standards of a basic adoption screening.

But, that doesn't change the fact that this woman has all these kids she cannot take care of. She is not living in reality. Not at ALL. I hope and pray that CPS comes in and gets some help for these kids. Maybe there are parents out there who want to adopt who would adopt a couple of these octuplets and work with the other adoptive parents so the kids would grow up knowing each other.

I think this is a TOTALLY different situation than the John and Kate +8 TV show situation. yes, they needed help. But they seem like stable people, not crazies who kept having kids because of some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) problem.

I just feel for the parents of her, and for the babies and her other children. This is just such an awful thing for a mom to do.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Oh, wow. That last video was something. Anyone else suspecting Borderline (BPD)? I mean, sheesh, she could be Nichole.....just substitute animals for babies! OMG I just shake my head. Nichole is far more stable and mature than this woman....by leaps and bounds.

I most certainly hope CPS is wise and keeps a very watchful eye over these 14 kids.
 

SRL

Active Member
As for this particular women, I am truly disgusted. I do not believe in legislation to "limit" children, but I think that cases like this is going to force laws to catch up with technology. Where that is going to go, I don't know.

Countries in Europe and elsewhere do limit the number of embryos implanted. Some even take a different route and require insurance to pay for it or cover it through national health care, but only if 1 or 2 embryos is implanted. People have the option to implant more but of course no one does it because then they have to pay out of pocket. It's dramatically reduced the numbers of multiples above twins, with obvious benefits all around.
 

Sheila

Moderator
Large families use to be fairly common in the USA, but not 8 at a time!

I can't afford to feed and clothe one child, let alone 14?????????

8 infants????????????

I saw an interview by Grandma today. She said she's worn out and she's done. The six are too much for her and Grandpa.

They described mom's current housing. Sounded like it wasn't ideal for the 6 she already has.

At the very least, she's irresponsible in my opinion. She wasn't the caregiver for the 6. Now she has 14?
 
M

ML

Guest
At the very least I am glad she knows the "father/sperm donor". It's hard on kids to grow up not knowing their origins. The laws for gammete donations need to catch up to the adoption laws so that the child's interests come first. If someone doesn't want tons of kids showing up 18 years later then donation isn't for them. JMHO.
 
K

Kjs

Guest
I listened to her interview. At one point she said that she "believed" her 6 children wanted more siblings.
She said, "I know it cost money to raise children. But What is mone? It is only paper."
She went on to say that she plans on supporting these kids using her degree.
LOL...does she think Grandma will take care of 14 children while she works? And if she thinks she could afford a babysitter for 14 kids - And work, she certainly would not be able to support the kids. how is she ever going to have a night out?
what do you think the sitters would cost?

I was reading links on other multiple births. In the 30 or 40's a set of quintuplet girls were born to a family in Canada. They already had children at home. The government stepped in and removed these 5 babies because the family could not support 5 more. The children were put back into the home when they were 9 years old. I do not agree with that either.

I do agree with all of your posts regarding psychological screening, and on-going support prior to fertility treatment. As well as throughout a pregnancy of multiples.
I can't imagine.
 

Shari

IsItFridayYet?
I saw on the news this morning that they found the clinic that did the implant. The doctor claims they "only" implanted 6.

Even if that's true, "only" 6? I thought the standard was 2 or 3?

Oh, and teh doctor won't come out of the clinic.
 

trinityroyal

Well-Known Member
IIn the 30 or 40's a set of quintuplet girls were born to a family in Canada. They already had children at home. The government stepped in and removed these 5 babies because the family could not support 5 more. The children were put back into the home when they were 9 years old.

Yes, the Dionne quintuplets.
During their childhood, they were taken out of their family home and put on display. People could pay a fee to go and see them. They were set up in a little doll-like house called "Quintland".

I have seen interviews with them as adults, and they always seem so terribly unhappy.

Even without the media attention, I just don't think these children will ever be able to have a normal life. It's so terribly sad.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
Genny and Donna, good points.

"What is money? It's only paper."
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!




:highvoltage:
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
So now that we're in agreement that this IS a bad situation gone worse -

What should be done to improve it? Any thoughts on what WOULD fix this or prevent this from happening again, because like any problem or loophole before a solution - we didnt' realize any of this needed regulated until now.

I think despite all that has gone on - I saw the babies this morning and OMG are they ever beautiful. Eight little noses....16 eyes 80 fingers and toes.....8 butts to wipe and 8 mouths to feed...and I'm not sure anyone said "Welcome to the world now that you're here." But we're just so angry over your Mothers poor choices. So do we keep beating a dead horse and make these kids feel even less welcome in our world or do we say - You know what - it's done - we can't put em back - so here's what we're going to do from here on out.

I'm sorry too about her illusion of financial stability in getting a job that pays enough as a masters in psychology counselor. Can anyone see allowing THEIR difficult child to go to this woman for help????? COME ON......
 

DazedandConfused

Well-Known Member
Countries in Europe and elsewhere do limit the number of embryos implanted. Some even take a different route and require insurance to pay for it or cover it through national health care, but only if 1 or 2 embryos is implanted. People have the option to implant more but of course no one does it because then they have to pay out of pocket. It's dramatically reduced the numbers of multiples above twins, with obvious benefits all around.

I was aware that England and other countries regulate the implantation of embryos. They much more progressive in their thinking as far as this issue goes. The US is (or was, HOPEFULLY) much more polarized on the issue.

Perhaps this will shed some much illumination on what can happen when how many embryos a woman can have implanted is not subject to limitation.

I think Star makes a good point. The kids are here. So, now what?
 
F

flutterbee

Guest
This woman obviously has mental health issues. This never should have been allowed to happen and all that jazz.

But that aside, I'm shocked at the amount of bias I've read.
 

donna723

Well-Known Member
According to the TV schedule, this will be the subject of "Dateline NBC" tonight ... it's on a 9:00 p.m. here (we're Central time).
 

Ropefree

Banned
I read magazines cover this event:8. The question of "how many" in the context of the procedure is currently under discussion amoung the medical community.

The implant 6 and hope for one is maybe not such a good plan for the health of the individules involved.

The doctors followed the patients request to use all the samples as per their attorney. That is how the matter was described in the interview where she said "They are mine and I used them"

She was paid for her intial interview. And she has engendered a lot of publicity.

Also her Dad had recently returned from work contracting overseas.

The cost per cycle of this type of implant treatments is mentioned as $12,000.

I think that she has access is a mute point. That a physician will implant a quantity of implants that insures a very high risk pregnacy, and the extremely costly pre and post natal care risking the health of future newborns who are delivered pre-maturely and under developed I do not care who the mother is or how lovely her payment for the service, it is playing baby roulette.

The Mothers who went in for one and had six have coped with it nicely. However the fact remains these multiple births are a result of intentionally placing implants that clearly are succeeding and maybe it would be time for the medical community to show some ethical self awareness and stop this.
The fee package at 12,000 for example might include some guareetee so that until the physicians are implanting one with sucess their effort to learn this meathod is not at risk of the babies.

Right now this meathod needs to advance to a point where a single implant is delivered at term to show success on the part of the medical technique.

And I agree telling a mother of 6 NO on the attempt to achieve more children might be an option for fertility specialists. That is six children under eight years old. All through fertility clinics. That is like asking someone to say no to $80,000 in potential incomes, on one teir of this medical profit chain.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
Yes, the medical community is under scrutiny, as it should be. Yrs ago, you had to implant a lot of embryos in the hopes that one would survive.
Not any more.

In this case, this mother's wants stop where my needs end--and that's where tax dollars are involved. I cannot afford to pay taxes for these kids. (Despite the fact they're in Calif.; you get the point.)

It's not the babies' fault(s). Somewhere, someone will love them ... maybe even the mom. I can only hope she matures overnight and gets over her sense of entitlement. She needs to take care of these kids. Her fantasy is now society's nightmare.

I don't know that there is any one, single answer. It is a symptom of our ever- changing society, where technology advances faster than our ability to cope with it. If we only had as much wisdom as we had basic intelligence ...
 

donna723

Well-Known Member
I watched the interview on "Dateline NBC" last night and she is very clearly a major nut job! This woman lives in a total fantasy world! She had all these kids because having a huge family somehow fulfilled a fantasy she had about being a mother. But she seems to have no concept at all about how much money it will take to support all of them or how there aren't enough hours in the day for one person to give them even the minimum of care. Can you imagine just trying to give EIGHT newborns a 2:00 a.m. feeding?? Just the logistics are staggering ... she would need an entire bus full of car seats! I think she really has no idea - it just doesn't seem to penetrate - and it sounds like she has never really been the main caretaker for the six she already had! Did anybody else notice when they were talking to the oldest little girl, it looked like that childs' hair hadn't been washed in weeks!

And the stories keep changing! First her father was saying that they had a big house in another location and would be moving there soon. Then it came out that the 'other house' was another small house in her mothers name that was in foreclosure. Then it was some friend of hers saying that she had a wonderful job and was completely self-supporting. Then it comes out that she's unemployed and has been living on her parents money and government student loans! Then they were saying that she receives no government assistance - but now they admit that she receives food stamps! Is that not 'government assistance'? Then she said that she received disability because of her 'bad back' but last night it came out that her disability had been discontinued. And they said this right after they showed her effortlessly hoisting a toddler up out of a chair and swinging him up in the air! Now it comes out that the name she gave as the 'sperm donor' was fictitious, which is illegal.

I haven't looked at it but they said there was a place on the NBC website where people could make donations to the family. I'm sure she'll come up with quite a chunk of change, even if only one out of a thousand people donated! I would have serious doubts that that money would be used wisely and for the children! She is on food stamps but spent $12,000 on each in vitro treatment! She'll have fourteen kids in a very small house but she's obviously had extensive plastic surgery which couldn't have been cheap! Was I the only who had trouble understanding her when she talked? Not only are her lips blown up to twice normal size, but she sounds like her nose is pinched off where she can't breathe through it! This whole thing makes me very, very sick. Surely with all this publicity, CPS will be keeping a very close eye on the situation, not only to see that the children are provided for and cared for appropriately but on her mental status as well.
 

Marcie Mac

Just Plain Ole Tired
What bothers me is everything that becomes a media sensation, there are lots of copycat like behaviors.

There are a lot of single parents out there (myself included) that have worked their hind ends off to provide for their kids and have never asked for government assistance.

I don't want to belong to the village she mentioned that she needs to help her take care of hers. And unfortunately, via the taxes I pay here in Ca., I will be one of the unwilling village people while she ***** the system dry.

Marcie
 

klmno

Active Member
I just saw on cnn that she's been on food stamps for 18 mos and has a web page that includes telling people how to make donations. I'm not surprised- who hires a PR person that isn't trying to make money?

I'm a single parent and am not criticizing her for needing help to raise a child or for being unmarried. But, to already have 6 kids and need help raising them, then deliberately go out and try to have multiple births and try to get more money is just disgusting, in my humble opinion. She isn't taking responsibility for her own life - she's got no business trying or claiming to be responsible for 14 others. And, at least 2 of the older ones are special needs kids.

I can't imagine- I wouldn't even be able to keep their names straight.
 
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