So for those of you who have followed along and care, my mom was supposed to move up by me [beginning 9/1] but my sister in PA highjacked things and my mom is now moved out of her apt there and into my sister's house. My sister took $1500 from my mom to help pay for the bathroom/shower which is off her kitchen, next to mom's room, which is barely 10' X 10'. My sister also took my mom's queen sized bed and made it her own and had my mom go buy herself a twin so it will fit her room. On top of that, my sister and her H emptied mom's apt and have all her belongings in their garage ready for a tag sale. My sister hired a woman to come sit with my mom, for $10/hour cash, 6 hours a day, M-F, while my sister works. My mom receives roughly $1200/month and my sister is taking $600 of that to help cover the cost of her day care (in home) and then says the rest is for incidentals like mom's RX copays and depends. Okay, I get it. Along with my siblings I will contribute towards mom's monthly care. Right now we all pay $120 each/month (there are 5 of us) to cover the day care cost that my mom's income supposedly doesn't cover, per my PA sister. My PA sister sent us all an email stating what we owed her in regards to my mom's care. She is billing us all for the month of June. My mom was with my other sister in WV for the last two weeks of June. I paid for June in full and as such, technically, it was my understanding that I had overpaid for June, leaving me with a 1/2 month surplus payment (this was when she was in her own apt). And for July, my mom was with me. So, all we owe PA sister for is the August/Sept payment, which I am fine with. The idea in moving her to CT was that we would find her a home and it would only be temporary that she be living between me and my sister here in CT until a bed became available. My CT sister here has thrown in the towel and seems more than happy to let PA sister's take mom in. My mom's demential is getting worse...not better as my delusional sister in PA believes. I have some questions.... 1) What happens to the money she gets from selling mom's items? Shouldn't that money offset the monthly cost of mom's daycare? 2) Why does she need $600/month to cover the cost of her RX copays and depends??? If her RX copays are only $300 couldn't another $100 or $200 go towards mom's monthly care costs? 3) What actionss has she taken to find mom a home near her? Has she filed any state paperwork to get any services that may be covered through the VA or anything? 4) Do I say anything about already being up to date for June's payment? I have power of attorney over my mom's financial affairs. My sister here has power of attorney over my mom's health affairs. So, my PA sister will have to acquire poa that will supercede our poa, understand? So, until then, technically, I have power of attorney over her financial affairs. There are extenuating circumstances, such as my sister makes plenty of money with her H and they blow it all on booze - major alcoholics. Also, in reviewing my mom's accounts I noted that in the month of July, while my mom had already been in CT for a couple of weeks, a check to a local grocery store had been written for $168. Now, even if it was groceries for my mom, which it clearly was not, no way would it have been that much! So, I now know that my mom's checking account is essentially an extension of my sister's...one she obviously uses freely. What would you do?? I could bulldoze myself into the thick of things and demand to see all my mom's financial documentation and figure out a monthly cost that is reasonable for all of us siblings. But that would entail a trip to PA to do that in person, as I'm sure my PA sister will not readily give up that info. I can have my CT sister here bulldoze a bit and make my PA sister find her a home as well, but again, that would entail a trip. My concern is two-fold. First, my mom will eventually need round the clock care that my working sister will not be able to provide her with and the sooner we find her a bed in a home, the better. Second, with the idea of finding my mom a home, it would mean that there is an end in sight for the monthly payments to my sister. Simply put, I cannot indefinitely budget $125/month to this nor, considering my sister's lifestyle, do I feel we should be supplementing her income. If I have to, I will find a way, but the idea was that she'd be in a home and it wouldn't be so - for any of us. We could put some money into a monthly stipend for her hair care, massages, etc., and that would not cost $625/month by any means. by the way, I am not the only one thinking these things....my WV sister and my brother all feel the same, but they won't say anything...they are banking on me to say something. Incidentally, my mom just had an old law suit that finally settled, so the papers are being sent to me and so will the check. When I get that check, I am prepaying my mom's funeral costs so my PA sister won't get her mitts on it. So, without starting a family war, what would you do?