Sister in another total wreck

[Star*]

She was in a 5 car pile up - she wasn't cited ---but...(and this is great)

She got out of the ER - and looked at my Mom's new used car and said "Well since I haven't been able to work since my last accident (totally not my fault) I am probably going to need you to buy me a car. Mom was silent as the grave. Then she said "You won't let me loose my house will you Mom?" WOW!!!!!! From Aspie to As*)/# in one car ride.

IS SHE SERIOUS??????? This is the woman that can't even take my Mother her prescriptions or soup when she had major hip surgery but plans a neighborhood rally for medical care and food for three months for the man next door when he wrecked his motorcycle because he was drunk and his wife is a nurse? This is the same sister that lives on the same street 17 houses away with a niece that is 18 who has a boyfriend and no one can come plow her drive or mow her grass, or rake her leaves or help her fix anything in her house EVER? Bring her even supper when she has the flu? Even visit her twice a year other than her Birthday and Mothers day and they leave the car running so they can leave within 10 minutes----and she wants her to do WHAT??????

OMG I AM ROFLMAO. Yeah - let me just whip out my check book because you've made six figures a year forever.., gotten child support, made extra money doing side work and couldn't even take the woman a box of KFC once in a while and she's on SSI and you didn't care that her house was full of BLACK MOLD and she was sleeping with a paper mask on and has water in her basement??? Then had the audacity to throw up in her face that you scraped a section of her house about 10' long and 3' high ----in light of needing a loan? yet all these year YOU KNEW she's needed help and never came near the house to help? But wanted her to put the house in your name - just in case she died???? Oh and the best one yet ----She was going to church - and when they asked if she knew anyone that needed some work done in their house - my Mom's house was falling APART - and my sister said "OH MY HOUSE" (and acted so depressed) and she got new windows and a bathroom----and my Moms house? She never mentioned it. That took the cake. These men came and did all kinds of work and the women came and cleaned and organized - and my sister never once mentioned that my Mom could have used help. All for one and one for one. And honestly she never thinks - OH I am selfish.

The wedge just gets bigger and bigger here -----and my forgiveness just knows no bounds, cause I'm not sure WWJD - but I think he should have a little come to Him meeting with her. I'm all but done. I swear I told my Mom I think she should go and get ME a new car and we will give my Sister my 1990 2 door Faded Ford Exlorer with NO air conditioning, no head liner, stick shift, dented fender-----no stereo...and tell her TA DA!!!!!!! - then I said - SHEESH - imy care is awesome, and too good for her and I'd never ever part with my SUV.I swear even if I hit the lotto? I'd probably just get the AC fixed and the windows - because they don't go up and down unless you grab them by hand and push. But ya know what I mean? WOW. That would just send my "all people on Food stamps are low rent" niece over the hill for sure. ----Oh they have a lot to learn. And it's going to be such an eye opener for them when it happens. I "ALMOST" feel sorry for them -----ALMOST.

off soapbox. Thanks for listening. retched brat and her child.

 

[ML]

OMG, this is the epidome of self absorbed. That takes audacity to put your mother in that position. Does anyone ever call her on her stuff? I feel so bad for your mom. I hope she isn't vulnerable to your sister's manipulations.

 

[Hound dog]

OMG Heaven help me I have one child like that when I'm that age.........I'd break a hip kicking their *ss.


Oh, wait. I will have one like that. Katie. I'll just make sure I get the hip replacement first so I can kick her further. bwuahhhahhhahha

She's still eyeing and waiting for inheritance from mother in law she will never see........even after I'm dead.

I'm glad she's not hurt...........I'm guessing she wasn't if she walked out of the ER. So, if it wasn't her fault, why isn't the insurance co of the guy who supposedly caused the wreck not gonna foot the bill for transportation? phht.

Let her rent a car and charge it to whomever's fault it is.

 

[HaoZi]

OMW. I'm amazed you didn't take photos of your Mom's place and take those to that church and say "Gee, I guess she FORGOT to mention that MOM could use some help, too!"

 

[KTMom91]

That difficult child sense of entitlement never ceases to amaze me.

 

[hearts and roses]

Oh my! She sounds just like my local (loco) sister and I've been told by a few specialists that the name for her condition is narcissistic personality disorder OR borderline personality disorder. Is your sister my sister's twin?!Lol, I just asked H to spell narcissistic and he said: s.e.l.f.i.s.h!!! Your mom won't help her, will she?

 

[AnnieO]

Holy schmoly guacamole, girl... HITH can this HAPPEN? OK, I have not been in so much as a fender bender in, wow, 14 years!!! WTH is with some people?

Keep your Explorer, we'll just fix the windows and AC. I even know how to do a headliner. We'll Star it up. And sis can WALK.

Gee-Zie-Pete.

 

[Star*]

I had not been able to get up to my Moms for years....either due to work or financial - but I have never said or "sad" to my Mom - woe is me. When my Mom 'surprised" us with a visit - "Oh BOY!!!" it was a surprise. lol. All those things that you kinda 'foo foo" in conversations and never EVER mention or skim over in conversations?" Well the cat was out of the bag after she walked in the door so she got the whole $5.00 tour of the house, and saw the car(SUV) and was just polite about it all - but my conversation with her about her obvious but closed mouthed opinions -UM - Think Meeting my blunt persona in person without the ability to hold it back at all.....that's my Mom...lol. came in and did her best to detach from MY life. Which is what it is after selling the farm and doing what I had to do to get away from x and getting Dude well, having DF go down the tubes due to his broken back. So it is what it is and you just move on and deal.

Anyway I told her I'm happy mostly and it's okay - I don't WANT help, I wouldn't TAKE help. I'll earn it - I'll work 3 jobs -mow lawns, pick up aluminum cans on the road side - but I don't want a thing. She's tried, it didn't work - I sent it back. Then I got a chance to go to her home and I went to work on it. NOW? Now I don't feel bad about how her house is. No drafts, no mold, new furnace, insulation....clean ducts, but while all this work was going on? My sister sat doing NOTHING. Never even came to visit, never even made the attempt to come see me OR my Mom. Two months later when it began to snow buckets? She NEVER EVER came to my Moms to see if there was some shoveling of the walk that could be done - (I had already arranged for her to have a guy do it) but not once this year did she even call to say - need help?) and two years ago? My Mom DID have hip surgery and NOT ONE TIME during the winter did my sister even offer to come help her with her stockings for circulation - yet when she wrecked her car recently she asked ME to put on her socks...and I said to her what she told my Mom over the phone "Ewwwwwww I don't touch feet - they're gross" Everyone in the hospital room looked at me like I was cold and uncaring, and I got up, I put them on, and I looked her dead in the eye and I said "Well isn't that what you're supposed to say to people when they ask you to change their compression stockings after they've wiped your butt for years and changed your diapers?" and that look you get (raised eyebrow) with complete anger came over me like a tsunami.....and she KNEW EXACTLY what I meant...and said "Well it's okay if you don't want to...and I said "It's not big deal - we're family - family helps..because the only OTHER way you can do this - is to grab a cane,,,,,push the sock off with the cane ---and struggle for nearly an hour to try to get it back on with a set of those tongs you use to reach things off the floor....isnt' that right Mom?" Our Mom said NOTHING. Belive me I'm loving until you mess with my family - and then? The grave would look like a Carribean hot spot. So it's not like she didn't get it - she's doing exactly what she wants and knows it. And my nice? WOW.......there's a girl that is in my humble opinion by comparison trying as hard as she might but going to fail miserably to get he merit badge in Ice Princess.

Sad thing about wearing a crown of ice cubes, when you choose to shut your immediate family out - and your Aunt and Nana are professional detachment experts? The only one that is going to loose out in that litlte charade? Is you. I've already HAD to be like that to survive, not by choice - and it's not a good place to be. I'm basically ambivalent about it. I do know that I've been SICK TO HERE with her fakeness for years but have never said a word for fear it would cause a huge family rift. Now that she's 18 and an adult? I am free to speak my peace if I choose about her treatment of my Mother and if provoked now? Maybe just one last time? I'll take my entire ensemble out of deep freeze and show little miss cool what a complete Artic Blast is all about - because I've been saving up this cold front for about six years. And while I'm at it? I just may frost over my sisters assets too. And when that's done? Old Man Winter wants to blow in a Nor'Easter of his own because he said he's NEVER seen two women treat their Mother like these two EVER and I just may step off our "NO family" rule this one time and let him at 'em. DF has kept his peace and opinions to himself for 12 years. Very admirable. At least it would be 2 less for Holiday dinners that would probably say "Did you buy this with FOODSTAMPS? If you did we can't eat it - we're going to Wendys."

I really need to get off this subject....few things get under my skin - and I guess I really DO care about her and my niece but I just DO NOT Understand HOW you can have such a wonderful Mom/Grandmother and be given all the opportunities like they have been given and go OUT OF YOUR WAY to be so ugly. My son thinks his Nana hates him ---and rightfully so - he hasn't done much to make her proud, but he's NEVER done or said ANYTHING like this. (insert scream) I guess if this were an experiment? Maybe my test subject will pull his head out of his **** and BE a decent person finally and take the opportunity to show her he's worthy. (Shrug....exhale) one can hope....He really does love her and would do anything for her if he were there? She would never have to rake, plow or mow again. I know that much. He just gets over zealous.....and does dumb stuff like trims holes in her bushes.....lol....(when he was four)

Okay off soapbox again. Thanks for the vent - I swear when I woke up this morning I was surrounded by puppies and still thinking about this I felt like my heart was in knots....makes me so bloody angry.

.........I'm much better now. (like Marty Feldman in that movie).........hahaha. Ahem.......going to get dressed now......

 

[susiestar]

I think your sister needs to count her blessings that she has FEET, not whine about not having a car. I have a saw and could fix her feet issue - trust me she would be grateful to have one after I cut the other one off. If she wasn't? Well, maybe it could be stitched onto someone else or used as a doorstop like a taxidermied pet cat one of my uncles has. Just give it to a taxidermist. they would get more use of it than she has.

I don't know HOW you kept your tongue all those years. Or how your mother didn't blast her for her rudeness, neglect, selfishness and poor parenting. your sister is BLESSED to have you nad husband and your mom because MANY families would NOT have held their tongues allt hese years.

I am sorry she is so awful.

 

[Steely]

God I cannot imagine the fury I would have......when a family member makes this sort of move I have no tolerance. I am very sure I would have alienated her for life if I were you. I am so glad you at least have a little compassion left for her. There are just no words for an immediate family member being this selfish....except her being a difficult child.Hugs, and many positive self restraint vibes.

 

[HaoZi]

HFH. I'm not only amazed you've held your tongue all these years, but also that no one has cut hers out. Then not only could she not talk, she wouldn't be able to taste the difference by how food was bought.
That's an impressive amount of self-restraint.

 

[flutterby]

Uh...NO. No way, no how, nuh-uh. NO ONE is going to treat Mama Star like that. And you let her know that if she EVER needs someone to help her again with compression stockings - or anything else - that she better let me know. I'll be there. Mama Star is one of the sweetest, kindest - not to mention funniest - person I've ever met.

That guy you got to take care of snow removal? Tell him to dump the snow on your sister's driveway.

 

[DammitJanet]

Star..you can be my sister instead. I never had one and always wanted one.

 

[1905]

Star, your mom is the sweetest person, I hope she doesn't give in to your sister. Your sister is probably the type who will badger your mom incessantly until she gets what she wants, and then she''ll think she "earned" it because she had to beg so much. Your mom sent me the nicest card once! I'm sorry your sister is so awful. ((hugs))

 

[DDD]

All I can say is "Holey Moley". DDD

 

[Star*]

You know.....I think I am so thankful for this boards members and the ability to just come here and blow it out my (nose) hahah - censors censors (WHAT DID STAR WRITE NOW?) I don't know did she say another something? I can only imagine how close I skate sometimes to the reservoirs edge some days, but thank you for allowing me my juvenille rant. And it is juvenille isn't it? I mean you would think I'd be able to settle this with "Now look here you sister person, or you niece person." I've tried. No avail.

Last Fall? I hired a 30 yd. dumpster and hauled black mold debris out of my Moms basement. For three days I tore out walls, studs, paneling. Not once did my sister offer to come help, or offer to go get lunch. However she was PO'ed when I would NOT come down to HER HOUSE and get a couch that the kids used in their grotto - and put it in the dumpster FOR HER. She didn't have the nerve to call me - instead she called and badgered our Mom and when Mom said I don't think there is room? She got snippy with Mom and said "Well I don't understand WHY someone can't come here and get it - it's not like I live across TOWN." I was covered from head to toe in black mold. You're supposed to hire a pro to do this - but I had a mask and I did cover the vents etc. I hired a guy to come in and clean and sanitize the house too after it was done. Vents air ducts - everything. I got three humidifiers for her and those run non-stop. This year I hope to get the yard landscaped so the water runs away from the house. However - It took every BIT of that 30 yd. dumpster to the top to haul out all that debris.....and she ENVER once came to see it. Yet wants someone to come GET her couch and haul it off? Okay I said "HOW am I supposed to come get your couch inthe first place? Mom has a Mercury SABLE and I'm on foot?" Should I just walk down there and flip it end over end up the road? And secondly? There really isn't any room....The dumpster is FULL." Her reply to Mom was - WEll they could dump it and bring it back...." And I said - WELL they are CHARGING ME - $180 DOLLARS - for each dump does she want to pay for the second time? I'll pay for the first." There was no reply. OR Does she want to SPLIT the first one? I'll remove some stuff and see if I can set it to the curb for the regular trash guy to take - and make room for her couch if she can get it up here. STILL No reply.

So even IF you make arrangements for her? She just wants to cause a situation so SHE is the victim - THIS is what I pointed out to my Mom.

Another good instance was when I was leaving. She KNOWS I'm on unemployment. I did have money put back to take Mom out to eat. One nice dinner - Red Lobster - nothing great - but I called my Sister no answer....so I text. We are going to Red Lobster, do you guys want to come? Sister says "What time" I said Around 6:30 7......Sister says "Which One?" I said "Belden Village" She says "Sounds good" Then I got to thinking about it and I said "You know of course I can't afford to pay for you and niece..." About ten minutes go by and then I get this back "NVR MIND - WE already ate." - Mom said that meant she figured I was going to pay for her and my niece. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? She makes HOW MUCH MONEY A YEAR???? And I'm on unemployment and thinks I'm going to pay?

But the kICKER and 1/2???? When she was in the car wreck in Feb? And I left without having any sleep for 22 hours?// Right out of CDL school - and drove for 11 hours ------to get Mom there? Was when she came home. Now - she still has money at this point. And my niece has a job, and they're getting meals and food, and donations from EVERYWHERE - friends, church, neighbors - it looked like It's a Wonderful Life in her lving room. So Mom and I go to the grocery store. And I told Mom - Maybe we should call or text and see if she needs anything. Mom got a little upset but said "Fine - do what you like." So I did - and you know - I figure she'd say either "Nothing thanks how sweet. or I sure could use a gallon of milk I'll give you the money when you get here - I KNOW you are unemployed"...Nope - (sit down for this one) ----She says "Oh yes - I need - (and I'm not kidding _ I saved the text)

A bottle of Aleve - 40 ct., 2 bags of sugar sweet 16 doughnuts, 1 bag of chocolate sweet 16 doughnuts, a dozen eggs, a gallon 2% milk NOT store brand, Thomas English Muffins, A tub of Parkay, a whole deli chicken, 3 lbs of mustard potato salad, a 5lb. bag of sugar, Folgers coffee, a pack of Hersheys candy bars, a newspaper, and 2 lotto tickets - these numbers.

So Mom is driving, and I'm laughing...and Mom is gritting her teeth, and I'm still laughing reading the list out loud. I'm looking at Mom and still laughing and then I'm just like - "What? Why aren't you laughing?" At this point we've left the grocery store and Mom is furious. (I mean I don't get it) This is a joke right? Now keep in mind - My sister's daughter and her boyfirend and HIS friend are also at the house. All THREE have their own cars. So I'm still looking at Mom and laughing and she's like "It's NOT funny Star." and I'm like - Oh it is----even the 3 bags of doughnuts and by this time I text back - ARE YOU SERIOUS - OMG YOU ARE SO FUNNY. to which I get a text back that is just......WHAT? and now My Mother is seething. I'm still laughing and the next text is from my sister and is "I fail to see the humor in a grocery list." to which I'm starting to see the non-humor, and why My mother is seething. NOW it ISssssssssss FUNNY because OMG - SHE IS SERIOUS and NOW I'm HYSTERICAl....So I type back - WELL this isn't a few things this is a day trip - DO YOU HAVE ANY COUPONS? - to which my sister texts back - COUPONS? WTH? If you don't want to shop for me just say so. So I text back - I don't think I have that much money in my account - I'll have to come by your house and get a check. To which my MOM looks at me and says "OH SHE IS NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU ANY MONEY - SHE EXPECTS YOU TO BUY her these things for FREE."

OKAY NOW I'm nearly on the floor of the car - BUY HER??? And in my blink blink - snort voice - I said "WELL she hit more than her head in that wreck if she thinks I'm buying her groceries and besides - I can't." and Mom said "Well you offered." and I said "Well I'll fix this right now" to which I whip out my phone and text my sister...."Look - I don't mind helping you out - but I don't have that much left on my FOOD STAMP CARD - DO YOU MIND IF I SPLIT THIS UP and get SOME OF YOUR FOOD ON FOOD STAMPS TODAY AND WAIT TILL NEXT WEEK WHEN MY CARD GETS REFILLED?" to which - even my Mom had to smirk - because we've already had the foodstamp conversation with my niece gacking over "PEOPLE WHO ARE LOW RENT WHO GET FOOD STAMPS" (not knowing I had to be on them) -----I kept silent as the grave...and actually my SC card wouldn't work in Ohio anyway....lol - Then I get this text - NVR Mind I'lll send (your niece) and (her boyfriend) ----ROFLM LOW rent Hiney off.....Mom just looked at me and said - You don't live up here - you have no clue how they work - EVERYONE gives THEM - everything. UGH. I said waiving my FS card - NOT EVERYONE......lol.

Somedays it's good to be someones idea of low rent. Sad part is - I'm so blessed I doubt they'll ever see riches like we have....I wish - but I doubt it.

 

[nvts]

Star! You definately have a sister here - yours sounds EXACTLY like two of mine...I'm just wondering if your mom and my dad dated at one point or another hahahahahahaha! OMG! Nerves of steel that one has!

Good luck with trying to get it to stop...we haven't figured it out over here on how to make them see what they're doing! lol!

Beth

 

[HaoZi]

Isn't Ohio one of few states that doesn't accept out of state EBT cards?

 

[Hound dog]

Well, well, well. THAT explains why you so totally "get" katie.

I do get that sis won't get it. But honestly I DO think she needs told off in a major way, childish or not. That woman needs her attitude adjusted down several notches.

But what she doesn't realize? Is that she's raising her daughter to be the same way. So when she's old and feeble and most likely doing without...........niece is going to pull the same crud (probably times 10) on HER. And by that time even the church people will have caught on, and trust me, they do eventually and the help stops. One can only turn the other cheek so many times.

 

[Star*]

yeah - well their day is coming. It just takes more energy to deal with either of them than I feel like spending. AND for now? My Mom has to be there ALONE to deal with it.