sister in law Is Not Speaking To Me

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Bunny, Dec 1, 2012.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    A few weeks ago I posted about how my sister in law wanted to go out for dinner on Christmas Eve again this year and that I did not want to go because it was not a good scene last year with difficult child. Luckily, mother in law agreed with me and it was decided that mother in law would cook for Christmas Eve because I am cooking for Christmas Day.

    The Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend brother in law called mother in law to tell her that they are "upset" with the decision that was not. "We're not upset that we have to come to your house," he told her. "We're upset that the decision was made without us." Honestly, I think that SHE is upset about it and that he really could care less where we eat that night.

    mother in law said to me that if we had made the decision to go out without them they would have been fine because it's what they wanted. It's not that the decision was made without them. It's that we made a decision that they don't like.

    So, the other day I sent her a text message to ask her how she was feeling because mother in law told me that sister in law had been sick, and to let sister in law know that an IEP meeting had finally been scheduled for easy child. No response. husband called brother in law last night because in order to set up our Christmas tree we have to move our loveseat into the garage and brother in law always comes over to help us move it out and then move it back in when we take the tree down. He never called back.

    Really, they're behaving this way because they aren't getting their way about what to do for Christmas Eve? Last year when we went out it was not what I wanted to do, but did I behave this way? No! I pasted a smile on my face and went because I am an adult and that is whatg adults do.

    She is showing her true colors. And they are not pretty!
  2. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    I'd invite them over for dessert after their dinner out. Time it so that you eat at home at the same time they're at the restaurant.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Bunny, I "get it". My sister (age 78 and apparently still sane and very well educated by the way) literally told me that she did not want to talk to me ever again because of the way I voted in the Presidential election. I haven't heard from her since and am shaking my head. WTH??? Life is strange and complicated. I understand. DDD
  4. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I'm sorry this is happening to you. :( I too join the ranks with a relative not speaking (in this case it's only been via text anyway, long distance) to them. I have only 1 sister and no other siblings. No other relatives but my mother and the reason is something utterly stupid sister does this to everyone. She had told my mother she wished she died instead of my father at the beginning of summer! :( They only recently started talking again, though my mother wasn't really sure she wanted to after that.
  5. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Uggggh! I'm sorry you have to deal with that. We have a set of "close friends" who act the same way. If its not their way it's no way. It's definitely mostly the wife but the hubby goes along to shut her up. My husband has known both since grade school and they live NEXT DOOR to us so it's hard to pull away from them. Sadly true colors are never pretty but they show you who people really are. ((((((((Hugs)))))))))
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Another one who isn't on speaking terms with family. My sister hasn't spoken to me in two years because I asked my 92 year old dad not to have alcohol on Christmas eve because difficult child had just gotten out if rehab. Sister brought wine and her family drank in the kitchen thinking that was ok. NOT. I expressed my disappointment and hence we haven't spoken since.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Can your sister in law call Buck and explain to him how to NOT talk to inlaws? LOL

    Actually I believe he and the rest of the family have this down with him and this is the reason he has been stuck on us. We are his last hope. I dont have siblings so this isnt a problem for me. Another area I am deprived in. Somehow I dont feel
  8. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    They're all adults!! You aren't beholden to them and they aren't to you. If they want to go out, that's terrific, if you want to cook, also great.

    As far as you're concerned, less people for you to cook and clean up after. There's not a problem anyone should be mad at. Just because you always get together, doesn't mean you MUST always get together.

    This type of tension is going on in my family right now as well. They aren't doing me a favor by coming over, I don't care, really! We'll see each other some other day! Get over it. That's what I'm going to say. People are actually mad at me- husband better pray he answers the phone when call whining.
  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Ick, they're behaving like spoiled adolescents!!!! Do your own thing, that's what I say!!
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, dear. I am so sorry. You don't need this anytime, but especially at Christmas. Hohoho. NOT.
  11. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Incidentally, I too have been shunned by loco sister along with another sister because loco sister has decided she can't have a relationship with 'toxic' people! Wth? I don't have any toxic people in my circle of family and friends and do not feel that I or my other sister are toxic. Loco sister is and always has been the toxic one in our family but we live her anyway. She's got Borderline (BPD) so you never know who you're going to get!!!