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Sister out of house, what rights do we have with her stuff?
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<blockquote data-quote="hamsterdance" data-source="post: 714688" data-attributes="member: 22048"><p>Yeah... I'm sort of getting back into all of this after distancing myself for years and being frustrated at nothing happening but my sister going downhill.</p><p></p><p>As I was typing comments, it was just a lot of stuff coming out... more cathartic then emotional plea for help.</p><p></p><p>What you say about the parents is true. I spoke with my dad, and he's decided that it's best if I don't come over...he'll just sort through the things and take his time and store them instead of getting rid of them. He knows some lawyers at the gym he goes to, so he's going to ask them for legal advice. (One is a family legal guy).</p><p></p><p>I told him I knew things were upsetting and emotional right now, but he needs to focus on the legalities and CYA stuff. because what they don't need is for my sister to come back and ask for things and then get sued by her when she realizes they threw it out and she has state support for everything now.</p><p></p><p>His opinion is that ... my sister has no place to go. She's living in a furnished room now. Her only living situaitons are that, or being homeless or being in jail.. so he thinks that she has no use for things anymore.</p><p></p><p>But, she's at a place that's teaching her vocational skills... which means that she may be having some kind of structured job that she's overseen at some time later. This means she will have an income.. and possibly end up in her own apartment some day.. and she'll be wanting stuff.</p><p></p><p>That seemed to sink in... but, there is still just so much garbage in her room.</p><p></p><p>And the "gifting" situation gets murky.</p><p></p><p>When I was a kid, my parents bought a wooden rolltop writing desk for me. It was raw wood, and my dad and I put stain and finish on it to make it a real piece of furniture. When I moved out of the house at 18.. that stayed behind. If that was considered "my property"...well.. my mother decided to shuffle it around to different rooms, then it went with them when they moved.. and ulitimately has ended up in my sister's room (it was buried under a bunch of junk.. I didn't even notice it).</p><p></p><p>So... who's property is it now? Is it mine? They bought it for me. I never gifted it to anyone. But, my sister has it and has been using it.</p><p></p><p>It's just stuff like that which muddies the water.</p><p></p><p>My dad is talking like "well, your mom gave your sister some clothes, so we're going to bag all that up and take it to goodwill" and I'm like "those clothes are her.. you gave them to her.. you don't own them anymore." And he's "but... we gave them to her. She doesn't even wear them anymore."</p><p></p><p>I feel like I'm talking to Rocket from Guardians of the Galaxy.</p><p></p><p>"But... you don't understand.. she's not here."</p><p>"so"</p><p>"But... she doesnt' wear them."</p><p>"So"</p><p>"but... I'm the one that really wants to get rid of them now."</p><p>"So."</p><p>"you don't get it... we gave them to her... we want to get rid of them now."</p><p>"they're not yours to get rid of."</p><p>"But... you don't understand... she's not here."</p><p>"ARGH!"</p><p></p><p>It's just a convo that keeps circling around.</p><p></p><p>He agree to box things up and keep them, though.</p><p></p><p>And I told him if he wanted me to not come over... he can at least call me if he wants to talk.</p><p></p><p>I guess I'll leave the ball in their court.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hamsterdance, post: 714688, member: 22048"] Yeah... I'm sort of getting back into all of this after distancing myself for years and being frustrated at nothing happening but my sister going downhill. As I was typing comments, it was just a lot of stuff coming out... more cathartic then emotional plea for help. What you say about the parents is true. I spoke with my dad, and he's decided that it's best if I don't come over...he'll just sort through the things and take his time and store them instead of getting rid of them. He knows some lawyers at the gym he goes to, so he's going to ask them for legal advice. (One is a family legal guy). I told him I knew things were upsetting and emotional right now, but he needs to focus on the legalities and CYA stuff. because what they don't need is for my sister to come back and ask for things and then get sued by her when she realizes they threw it out and she has state support for everything now. His opinion is that ... my sister has no place to go. She's living in a furnished room now. Her only living situaitons are that, or being homeless or being in jail.. so he thinks that she has no use for things anymore. But, she's at a place that's teaching her vocational skills... which means that she may be having some kind of structured job that she's overseen at some time later. This means she will have an income.. and possibly end up in her own apartment some day.. and she'll be wanting stuff. That seemed to sink in... but, there is still just so much garbage in her room. And the "gifting" situation gets murky. When I was a kid, my parents bought a wooden rolltop writing desk for me. It was raw wood, and my dad and I put stain and finish on it to make it a real piece of furniture. When I moved out of the house at 18.. that stayed behind. If that was considered "my property"...well.. my mother decided to shuffle it around to different rooms, then it went with them when they moved.. and ulitimately has ended up in my sister's room (it was buried under a bunch of junk.. I didn't even notice it). So... who's property is it now? Is it mine? They bought it for me. I never gifted it to anyone. But, my sister has it and has been using it. It's just stuff like that which muddies the water. My dad is talking like "well, your mom gave your sister some clothes, so we're going to bag all that up and take it to goodwill" and I'm like "those clothes are her.. you gave them to her.. you don't own them anymore." And he's "but... we gave them to her. She doesn't even wear them anymore." I feel like I'm talking to Rocket from Guardians of the Galaxy. "But... you don't understand.. she's not here." "so" "But... she doesnt' wear them." "So" "but... I'm the one that really wants to get rid of them now." "So." "you don't get it... we gave them to her... we want to get rid of them now." "they're not yours to get rid of." "But... you don't understand... she's not here." "ARGH!" It's just a convo that keeps circling around. He agree to box things up and keep them, though. And I told him if he wanted me to not come over... he can at least call me if he wants to talk. I guess I'll leave the ball in their court. [/QUOTE]
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Sister out of house, what rights do we have with her stuff?
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