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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 665584" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>That is what D H used to tell me, back when we were newly married and then, when we had our first baby and I didn't want to see them. He could not see, anymore than I could, what it did to me, to that young, brand new mother I was, to welcome my mother into our lives when I needed a mother. I am only safe from her when I need nothing from her.</p><p></p><p>And even hearing about some of the things that she does, back when she was telling me about the lady friend who drives, or the man who wanted to marry her, or the tire rimming machine and my brother ~ those things were like, traumatic by proxy.</p><p></p><p>It would have been better for all of us for me not to have been vulnerable in those ways.</p><p></p><p>And you know what? Even when I was about as grown up as I was ever going to get...which would be right up to this minute, as we all are still changing ~ this time, thank Heaven, for the better ~ I still was never sure if somehow, my mom was correct in these behaviors. Like, I must be missing something. That is why the eye-rolling incident that both mom and sister described, of the whole family there, all of them rolling their eyes at the woman's predicament in being tired from the drive and having nowhere to go because although she had been invited to spend the night at my sister's before, there was no room there for her now...that must be why that one sticks with me.</p><p></p><p>Eye rolling is a wrong thing, whatever the situation.</p><p></p><p>It fixes nothing. It's intent is to ridicule. How hurtful.</p><p></p><p>And that's what they did.</p><p></p><p>So, that was wrong. For sure, that was a thing that was a wrong thing they did.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 665584, member: 17461"] That is what D H used to tell me, back when we were newly married and then, when we had our first baby and I didn't want to see them. He could not see, anymore than I could, what it did to me, to that young, brand new mother I was, to welcome my mother into our lives when I needed a mother. I am only safe from her when I need nothing from her. And even hearing about some of the things that she does, back when she was telling me about the lady friend who drives, or the man who wanted to marry her, or the tire rimming machine and my brother ~ those things were like, traumatic by proxy. It would have been better for all of us for me not to have been vulnerable in those ways. And you know what? Even when I was about as grown up as I was ever going to get...which would be right up to this minute, as we all are still changing ~ this time, thank Heaven, for the better ~ I still was never sure if somehow, my mom was correct in these behaviors. Like, I must be missing something. That is why the eye-rolling incident that both mom and sister described, of the whole family there, all of them rolling their eyes at the woman's predicament in being tired from the drive and having nowhere to go because although she had been invited to spend the night at my sister's before, there was no room there for her now...that must be why that one sticks with me. Eye rolling is a wrong thing, whatever the situation. It fixes nothing. It's intent is to ridicule. How hurtful. And that's what they did. So, that was wrong. For sure, that was a thing that was a wrong thing they did. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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