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Parent Emeritus
Sitting here alone and heart broken
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 689246" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I posted before I read your last post. So she is borderline. That tells you she is going to stay very unpredictable and dangerous too probably unless she seriously wants to change and works very hard at it. There is hardcore therapy for borderline but it takes will.to change and hard work plus commitment. She doesn't sound ready. Borderline behavior is hardwired and difficult to change. The person must admit it and want desperately to heal. Bipolar sometimes goes along with it. She could have both. Plus sounds like she still may use drugs.</p><p></p><p>You are sane. Your daughter has a very weak sense of self. This goes with borderline. Borderline tend to act like whoever they hang around with. Their main abuse targets though are people who love them. Then they freak out after target gets sick of being abused and cry that nobody loves them. It's not normal behavior, but it's an ongoing pattern. Many times, during their victim phase, the abused person feels bad and takes the abuser back. Rinse. Repeat. So goes borderline and codependent. You may like to read "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. Great book.</p><p></p><p>Please don't let her hurt you in any way, daughter or not. Borderline is too big for anyone to take on. Don't try. Be good to yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 689246, member: 1550"] I posted before I read your last post. So she is borderline. That tells you she is going to stay very unpredictable and dangerous too probably unless she seriously wants to change and works very hard at it. There is hardcore therapy for borderline but it takes will.to change and hard work plus commitment. She doesn't sound ready. Borderline behavior is hardwired and difficult to change. The person must admit it and want desperately to heal. Bipolar sometimes goes along with it. She could have both. Plus sounds like she still may use drugs. You are sane. Your daughter has a very weak sense of self. This goes with borderline. Borderline tend to act like whoever they hang around with. Their main abuse targets though are people who love them. Then they freak out after target gets sick of being abused and cry that nobody loves them. It's not normal behavior, but it's an ongoing pattern. Many times, during their victim phase, the abused person feels bad and takes the abuser back. Rinse. Repeat. So goes borderline and codependent. You may like to read "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. Great book. Please don't let her hurt you in any way, daughter or not. Borderline is too big for anyone to take on. Don't try. Be good to yourself. [/QUOTE]
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