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Parent Emeritus
Sitting here alone and heart broken
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 689312" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Welcome to the forum, and we are glad you are here. First, lots of ((((hugs)))). We care here.</p><p></p><p>Please realize and accept that your daughter is very sick. She can't love you like you love her. She just can't. She is clearly dangerous and there is no set of values in the world that require or expect you to allow anybody----anybody---to put their hands around your throat and choke you.</p><p></p><p>I also believe that when somebody tells you who they are..."I am a psycopath" we have to believe them. </p><p></p><p>Yes, it is tragic and so sad and we very much understand your grief. Grieve the loss of the person you wanted her to be, and the person you tried to raise.</p><p></p><p>You did all you could. All of us here did all we could. We can't control outcomes of other people. And especially where there is very serious mental illness that is untreated, there is absolutely nothing we can do. </p><p></p><p>It's time for you. It's way way way past time for you. That doesn't mean you have to stop loving her and hoping and praying that a miracle occurs and she starts wanting to get the very serious help that she needs.</p><p></p><p>But you need to separate physically from her and set good strong boundaries to protect yourself physically and emotionally. Perhaps you can write her letters or notes on paper or online. You can say what you feel and want to say without expecting anything back from her.</p><p></p><p>Love is real. Your love for her is real. But it's not a balanced relationship, and it cannot be unless and until she decides to change and work very very hard to get well. </p><p></p><p>Until that day comes, start reclaiming your own life. You deserve a life of your own that is filled with people who care about you, joy, contentment and serenity. It IS possible to have that life, even when our own beloved children are off the rails.</p><p></p><p>We are here for you on this forum. A very warm welcome to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 689312, member: 17542"] Welcome to the forum, and we are glad you are here. First, lots of ((((hugs)))). We care here. Please realize and accept that your daughter is very sick. She can't love you like you love her. She just can't. She is clearly dangerous and there is no set of values in the world that require or expect you to allow anybody----anybody---to put their hands around your throat and choke you. I also believe that when somebody tells you who they are..."I am a psycopath" we have to believe them. Yes, it is tragic and so sad and we very much understand your grief. Grieve the loss of the person you wanted her to be, and the person you tried to raise. You did all you could. All of us here did all we could. We can't control outcomes of other people. And especially where there is very serious mental illness that is untreated, there is absolutely nothing we can do. It's time for you. It's way way way past time for you. That doesn't mean you have to stop loving her and hoping and praying that a miracle occurs and she starts wanting to get the very serious help that she needs. But you need to separate physically from her and set good strong boundaries to protect yourself physically and emotionally. Perhaps you can write her letters or notes on paper or online. You can say what you feel and want to say without expecting anything back from her. Love is real. Your love for her is real. But it's not a balanced relationship, and it cannot be unless and until she decides to change and work very very hard to get well. Until that day comes, start reclaiming your own life. You deserve a life of your own that is filled with people who care about you, joy, contentment and serenity. It IS possible to have that life, even when our own beloved children are off the rails. We are here for you on this forum. A very warm welcome to you. [/QUOTE]
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