I saw my GP today. First, I have to say that I like my doctor so much. I wish all of you that were unhappy with your doctor could see her. She is getting me in with a sleep specialist. I have days where I sleep upwards of 14-16 hours. I'll sleep at night, be up for a couple of hours then nap for 2-5 hours - usually closer to 5. But, I wake up a lot so it's always interrupted. And when I'm awake, I'm thinking about going back to sleep cause I'm alway so freakin' tired. Anyway, the sleep specialist she is getting me into is one she really, really likes (can't always use the doctors she really likes because of my insurance). She said he is very passionate about sleep. LOL I told her, good because apparently I am too, lately. At my suggestion we are switching from lexapro 20mg to nortriptyline (sp?). I will wean off the lexapro for 2 weeks (longer if needed) while simultaneously adding the nortriptyline. I suggested this because nortriptyline is supposed to help with sleep and I really hate the lunesta. My depression has been so well under control for so long now, that while I'm nervous about switching, I'm not horribly worried that I'll slide. If that happens, I'll call the doctor. The only thing I'm concerned about is that she is putting me on 10mg nortriptyline and it looks like the usual adult dosage is 25mg 3 or 4 times a day. I think she's starting me low because I'm so sensitive to medications. We'll see. I see her in a month for a recheck on that. My blood pressure and heart rate has been elevated my last few visits. She wrote an rx for a blood pressure cuff with a heart rate monitor and she wants me to check my blood pressure at home periodically so we can see if we need to increase my beta blocker or add back in the ace inhibitor. My BiPolar (BP) was 142/80 and it was never that high before my heart attack and was 147/80-something when I was having my heart attack. Afterwards, it was averaging around 110/78. My resting heart rate was 100 and it should be between 60-80. For a while, it was dropping lower than that and we had to decrease my beta blocker. When we were talking about the medication change, I told her that my mind set is so different that I just don't see myself ever getting back to that scary depression I used to have. And then she said...and thought for a moment and said she was thinking of how to phrase it....that she doesn't think we'll ever be able to get me back to how I used to be before all this happened. I told her I understood that. Told her that while I can always have hope, I really have no expectations although I would really like to at least be able to work part time. She agreed, but doesn't think I'll ever be able to do more than work part time. I keep thinking that should upset me, but I guess I've had time to come to that realization and accept it. I don't want to live like this every day. But being able to work part time, get out of the house and feel productive and useful, bring in some income...I can live with that. She's hopeful that the new rheumy (appointment on the 29th) will bring more answers. However, she feels more convinced every time she sees me - and felt better that the neuro seconds it - that I have a connective tissue disease and that even if we don't get any more answers from the rheumy she is going to treat (medicate) according to what she believes. So, that's that. An overall good visit. I'm going to go nap before the HVAC guy gets here. Wynter's tutor comes tonight and I won't get another chance and I'm so sleepy I could cry. Thanks for listening and as always thank you for all the support you all give. Don't know what I'd do without you all.