Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Slow learner
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 707078" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>I don't often come on the site, but whenever I do, the posts I read are filled with wisdom, comfort, and non-judgment. Learning to detach from a my 31 son has been a slow, painful process, but I am determined to save my own life. I am better at setting boundaries, but he occupies so much of my head and my heart, and truthfully I occupy very little of his. He has been difficult for almost 20 years and is in jail awaiting trial that will probably get him 3-6 years. He is a narcissist, very intelligent, but totally lacking insight. He thinks he is above the law and every time he is arrested, which is many, he is always the 'victim.' I have helped him many times financially to no benefit. Now there is an addict girlfriend, a grandchild who has already been in foster care, and he is freaking out. Calls me begging me to pay for a private lawyer, not a public defender, because they're 'useless.' Tells me I am a control freak, selfish, a child, a lousy mother, and I listen to him, I still visit, I still help, but I am beginning to understand that all my helping hasn't helped him, but it has hurt me. His trial is in two weeks. I don't want to go, I don't want to talk to him, I am tired of being blamed, manipulated, and treated badly. I go to twelve step, I pray, I read, I go to therapy. I am doing everything I can to detach. I will keep reading the honest, heartfelt posts here until I get to the place of loving me enough not to betray myself. I told my therapist what hurt most is how my son is unable to see all I've done to help him and to love him. My therapist said that he believed I gave him my love, but for whatever reason, he's not able to receive it. It's his issue, not mine. With appreciation...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 707078, member: 19832"] I don't often come on the site, but whenever I do, the posts I read are filled with wisdom, comfort, and non-judgment. Learning to detach from a my 31 son has been a slow, painful process, but I am determined to save my own life. I am better at setting boundaries, but he occupies so much of my head and my heart, and truthfully I occupy very little of his. He has been difficult for almost 20 years and is in jail awaiting trial that will probably get him 3-6 years. He is a narcissist, very intelligent, but totally lacking insight. He thinks he is above the law and every time he is arrested, which is many, he is always the 'victim.' I have helped him many times financially to no benefit. Now there is an addict girlfriend, a grandchild who has already been in foster care, and he is freaking out. Calls me begging me to pay for a private lawyer, not a public defender, because they're 'useless.' Tells me I am a control freak, selfish, a child, a lousy mother, and I listen to him, I still visit, I still help, but I am beginning to understand that all my helping hasn't helped him, but it has hurt me. His trial is in two weeks. I don't want to go, I don't want to talk to him, I am tired of being blamed, manipulated, and treated badly. I go to twelve step, I pray, I read, I go to therapy. I am doing everything I can to detach. I will keep reading the honest, heartfelt posts here until I get to the place of loving me enough not to betray myself. I told my therapist what hurt most is how my son is unable to see all I've done to help him and to love him. My therapist said that he believed I gave him my love, but for whatever reason, he's not able to receive it. It's his issue, not mine. With appreciation... [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Slow learner
Top