Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Slow learner
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 707140" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>You have said it yourself - you are not "helping." I think we often don't understand that all of our "helping" is actually selfish. It helps us deal with the guilt, the sadness, the loss, the hopelessness. We do it for ourselves not them. It is what we tell ourselves we "need" to do because we are the parent, we are responsible. In reality, we are handicapping our children. We teach them to stay dependent, not to ever learn to problem solve, to escape responsibility, to point the blame elsewhere. I know I have handicapped my daughter out of a misplaced need to "fix" the wrong. I know now that as an adult, these are her "wrongs" to fix. I hope you get there, too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 707140, member: 19905"] You have said it yourself - you are not "helping." I think we often don't understand that all of our "helping" is actually selfish. It helps us deal with the guilt, the sadness, the loss, the hopelessness. We do it for ourselves not them. It is what we tell ourselves we "need" to do because we are the parent, we are responsible. In reality, we are handicapping our children. We teach them to stay dependent, not to ever learn to problem solve, to escape responsibility, to point the blame elsewhere. I know I have handicapped my daughter out of a misplaced need to "fix" the wrong. I know now that as an adult, these are her "wrongs" to fix. I hope you get there, too. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Slow learner
Top