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Slowly Breaking Me Down
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 625663" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>CA Mom, as I tell everyone "Actions speak louder than words."</p><p></p><p>You don't have to tell him anything. Just don't do what you used to do. Show him you have set boundaries.</p><p></p><p>You will not fall apart because you have us and we are on call 24/7 plus you are strong. We all are. We have been through this for years and years and we did not crack. And you won't either. </p><p></p><p>To help yourself get through this, I would not engage difficult child unless he truly calls you just to ask how you are. If you feel it is going in the direction of a two year old, such as, "If you loved me, you'd give me food" pretend the doorbell rang and you have to go. </p><p></p><p>Your son can eat. There are plenty of places for meals for the homeless, which he has chosen to be. The fact is, you aren't that hungry when you are using certain drugs so you don't eat anyway. He doesn't want you to buy him food. He wants you to send him money so he can likely buy drugs.</p><p></p><p>I used to be really naive and when I'd see a beggar or somebody with a homeless sign I'd stuff $10 in their bucket. This was when I was in my early 20's and worked in Chicago. As time went on, I started working at a homeless shelter and heard the residents laugh about how they panhandled money and how much they got. Thereafter, I learned my lesson and if I feel inclined to help somebody on the street I offer to buy them a sandwich, but no money. </p><p></p><p>I had an experience not too long ago with some guy holding up a homeless sign. I gave him an old blanket in from my car because it was old but clean and the weather was chilly. He was underwhelmed. Later, I heard he parks all over town until he is chased away and is not homeless.</p><p></p><p>Will I ever learn? Oh, well. At least it's not money anymore...lol.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 625663, member: 1550"] CA Mom, as I tell everyone "Actions speak louder than words." You don't have to tell him anything. Just don't do what you used to do. Show him you have set boundaries. You will not fall apart because you have us and we are on call 24/7 plus you are strong. We all are. We have been through this for years and years and we did not crack. And you won't either. To help yourself get through this, I would not engage difficult child unless he truly calls you just to ask how you are. If you feel it is going in the direction of a two year old, such as, "If you loved me, you'd give me food" pretend the doorbell rang and you have to go. Your son can eat. There are plenty of places for meals for the homeless, which he has chosen to be. The fact is, you aren't that hungry when you are using certain drugs so you don't eat anyway. He doesn't want you to buy him food. He wants you to send him money so he can likely buy drugs. I used to be really naive and when I'd see a beggar or somebody with a homeless sign I'd stuff $10 in their bucket. This was when I was in my early 20's and worked in Chicago. As time went on, I started working at a homeless shelter and heard the residents laugh about how they panhandled money and how much they got. Thereafter, I learned my lesson and if I feel inclined to help somebody on the street I offer to buy them a sandwich, but no money. I had an experience not too long ago with some guy holding up a homeless sign. I gave him an old blanket in from my car because it was old but clean and the weather was chilly. He was underwhelmed. Later, I heard he parks all over town until he is chased away and is not homeless. Will I ever learn? Oh, well. At least it's not money anymore...lol. [/QUOTE]
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