small victory

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Malika, Jul 15, 2012.

  1. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    I reckon J had a small victory today, a small sign of growing up a little. There are boys who play outside in the village - cycling, going to their dens in the countryside that is on the doorstep, etc - and they are all older. 8,9,10. J wouldn't naturally play with them, of course, but they are the only children here for him to play with - and of course he wants to be out with them, being the kind of boy he is. Sometimes he plays with the 10 year old, who comes to knock for him when there's no-one else around, but when the other boys are present he doesn't want to know about J, telling him to go away and not bother them... Cruel, but that's kids - it's because J is five, of course, and what self-respecting 10 year old wants to be seen hanging around with a five year old? That said, J did play with them for a few hours yesterday and it seemed to be okay; there was one boy there who is very sweet natured and kind of takes J under his wing, protecting him.
    Anyway, today we went out and when we came back, J wanted to go on his bike to find the 10 year old. I said okay, having already talked to him about the fact that 10 year olds don't want to play with little kids when they are together and that if they speak to him unkindly he shouldn't insult them back but should just say that they were not to talk to him that way. He duly reappeared after a bit saying that he'd found the two boys (minus the nice one) and that they'd told him to go away. He wasn't crying, wasn't upset, said that he had told them not to speak nastily to him and just come back. He said that he had felt like crying in front of them but had not... honestly, well done, little J!
    Other than that, I lost my rag with him a few times today because he spoke so disrespectfully to me but that's another story :sigh:
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Very good! He tried, it didn't work. Now he knows there's one kid he can play with and he will stay away from the others. That is real life. He seemed to take it all in stride.

    I'm sorry you lost it with him ... I know the feeling!
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Terry. It seems like nothing but is in fact quite a big deal because usually J would be crying and deeply upset (momentarily, anyway...) at this kind of thing. Really a new reaction for him.
  4. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    I think I'm becoming attached to J. What a great kid.
  5. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Yes, he has his moments. Like this morning when all his clean socks were hanging outside on the washing line and I asked him to go out and get them. He came back, wheeling them all (with the pegs) in his miniature wheelbarrow, which he had lugged up the stairs...
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good for J!!! Also I love the image of him with the wheelbarrow of socks!