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Substance Abuse
So angry...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724935" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>He has this toxic girlfriend so he won't be alone. Don't worry...at his age and with his current value system she is likely more important to him than you and cousins, aunts etc.</p><p></p><p>Family Christmas means more to you than him. If he valued family so much right now, he wouldn't have stolen from you. If he wants to come, bet it is more to get gifts. Which he doesn't deserve. Don't assume your longing for a family Christmas matches his. Is it even safe to let him in the house? He could steal from you again or another person who loves him.</p><p></p><p> As for the job, they wont know about the police report and I doubt if he is ready to settle into a long term, serious career...the job, for as long as he keeps it, is sort of a holding place job. in my opinion he needs to learn a lesson about stealing and identity theft more than get this job, although, really, it is unlikely to be affected.</p><p></p><p>What if he steals at work? What is to stop him? Both obviously feel they can break the law.</p><p></p><p>Now if you feel you must see son around Christmas, but he could destroy your family celebration, meet him the day before at a public restaurant and buy him a meal. That is more than he would have gotten from me. One of our sons used my ex hubs credit card to charge filthy movies to himself and got nothing for Christmas that year. He pouted at Christmas, but we ignored him. He was still a minor so he was with us but all he did was sulk in the corner and mumble that it was mean for us to get him nothing for Christmas. He was about thirteen then. Filthy movies. Memorizing Dad's credit card. Young to be so sneaky.</p><p></p><p>We told him non chalantly "Son, your Christmas present was the $500 worth of movies you charged to us. We hope they were worth it."</p><p></p><p>He never stole from us again. We MUST teach them right from wrong and about consequences. We MUST. Society will NOT be kind if your son does this to a stranger. This is a teaching moment that you have to take advantage of.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724935, member: 1550"] He has this toxic girlfriend so he won't be alone. Don't worry...at his age and with his current value system she is likely more important to him than you and cousins, aunts etc. Family Christmas means more to you than him. If he valued family so much right now, he wouldn't have stolen from you. If he wants to come, bet it is more to get gifts. Which he doesn't deserve. Don't assume your longing for a family Christmas matches his. Is it even safe to let him in the house? He could steal from you again or another person who loves him. As for the job, they wont know about the police report and I doubt if he is ready to settle into a long term, serious career...the job, for as long as he keeps it, is sort of a holding place job. in my opinion he needs to learn a lesson about stealing and identity theft more than get this job, although, really, it is unlikely to be affected. What if he steals at work? What is to stop him? Both obviously feel they can break the law. Now if you feel you must see son around Christmas, but he could destroy your family celebration, meet him the day before at a public restaurant and buy him a meal. That is more than he would have gotten from me. One of our sons used my ex hubs credit card to charge filthy movies to himself and got nothing for Christmas that year. He pouted at Christmas, but we ignored him. He was still a minor so he was with us but all he did was sulk in the corner and mumble that it was mean for us to get him nothing for Christmas. He was about thirteen then. Filthy movies. Memorizing Dad's credit card. Young to be so sneaky. We told him non chalantly "Son, your Christmas present was the $500 worth of movies you charged to us. We hope they were worth it." He never stole from us again. We MUST teach them right from wrong and about consequences. We MUST. Society will NOT be kind if your son does this to a stranger. This is a teaching moment that you have to take advantage of. [/QUOTE]
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