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Substance Abuse
So angry...
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 724983" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>hi lost.</p><p></p><p>look. you (like most of us) are writing the end of the story at the very beginning.</p><p></p><p>children even adult ones need us to set limits, to illustrate correct living, really, to be moral authorities about life, that is, to live right. i truly believe that. we show to them their value as people by our acts towards them. even if those acts, especially if, they curb them.</p><p></p><p>i could write another end to your story. he continues with worse crimes. against you or others.</p><p></p><p>or another ending. he gets angry. he cuts you off for a time. he stabilizes. he has time to think. to mature. and he comes to a deeper understanding of life and himself. your relationship improves.</p><p></p><p>there is self-respect. that counts too. the knowing you are acting based upon your deepest values.</p><p></p><p>consistency in my mind is the least of it. this is not about follow through. it is about not permitting that your child or anybody else criminally victimize you or with your consent anybody else.</p><p></p><p>that there are more important things than convenience, image, getting along or even achievement. </p><p></p><p>your son demonstrated something real about himself. He can change. But this cannot be ignored as far as i can see.</p><p></p><p>your son perpetrated a crime against you. some things cannot be either overlooked or circumvented. they need to be faced and overcome. in my mind this is one of them.</p><p></p><p>you know this. that is why you are shaken to your core. why you have lost words and feel unrooted from what has defined you.</p><p></p><p>this is a real.</p><p></p><p>oh. i know what the pain must be. the not knowing. </p><p></p><p>honestly. i am only saying what i believe. i would have exactly the same struggle as you. </p><p></p><p>but. i do not know how you walk this back.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 724983, member: 18958"] hi lost. look. you (like most of us) are writing the end of the story at the very beginning. children even adult ones need us to set limits, to illustrate correct living, really, to be moral authorities about life, that is, to live right. i truly believe that. we show to them their value as people by our acts towards them. even if those acts, especially if, they curb them. i could write another end to your story. he continues with worse crimes. against you or others. or another ending. he gets angry. he cuts you off for a time. he stabilizes. he has time to think. to mature. and he comes to a deeper understanding of life and himself. your relationship improves. there is self-respect. that counts too. the knowing you are acting based upon your deepest values. consistency in my mind is the least of it. this is not about follow through. it is about not permitting that your child or anybody else criminally victimize you or with your consent anybody else. that there are more important things than convenience, image, getting along or even achievement. your son demonstrated something real about himself. He can change. But this cannot be ignored as far as i can see. your son perpetrated a crime against you. some things cannot be either overlooked or circumvented. they need to be faced and overcome. in my mind this is one of them. you know this. that is why you are shaken to your core. why you have lost words and feel unrooted from what has defined you. this is a real. oh. i know what the pain must be. the not knowing. honestly. i am only saying what i believe. i would have exactly the same struggle as you. but. i do not know how you walk this back. [/QUOTE]
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