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Substance Abuse
So angry...
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 724985" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>First of all, go to the credit reporting agencies and freeze your credit. That way no one can open an account or take out a loan in your name. You can unfreeze it at any time if you want to open an account.</p><p></p><p>Next, go to the bank and set up a code that is needed to access your account(s). It is an extra safety barrier.</p><p></p><p>Finally, stop threatening and not following through. You said in your post that you nag and he doesn't follow through. What is your response when he doesn't follow through? You said that you said you would not pay his rent but went ahead and did it anyway. Then you told him that you were going to report him. Are you going to follow through? If not, you are teaching him that his actions have no consequences and are giving him license to keep abusing you.</p><p></p><p>I would absolutely report him. There have been parents on this forum that had their bank accounts emptied out by their troubled children. Please don't be one of them. If he doesn't pay the loan (and we both know he won't), they will come after you. You might be able to fight it but think of the heartache, time, and trouble that will take.</p><p></p><p>Please find a support group like Families Anonymous to help you deal with this. For me, private therapy was a godsend. I finally learned how to set firm boundaries and stop enabling my daughter's bad behavior. It changed my life and my daughter's, too. Once my husband and I learned how to stop giving into our daughter's threats and manipulation, she got better. She went back into treatment followed by a year long stay in a sober living program and has been sober for almost two years.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 724985, member: 1967"] First of all, go to the credit reporting agencies and freeze your credit. That way no one can open an account or take out a loan in your name. You can unfreeze it at any time if you want to open an account. Next, go to the bank and set up a code that is needed to access your account(s). It is an extra safety barrier. Finally, stop threatening and not following through. You said in your post that you nag and he doesn't follow through. What is your response when he doesn't follow through? You said that you said you would not pay his rent but went ahead and did it anyway. Then you told him that you were going to report him. Are you going to follow through? If not, you are teaching him that his actions have no consequences and are giving him license to keep abusing you. I would absolutely report him. There have been parents on this forum that had their bank accounts emptied out by their troubled children. Please don't be one of them. If he doesn't pay the loan (and we both know he won't), they will come after you. You might be able to fight it but think of the heartache, time, and trouble that will take. Please find a support group like Families Anonymous to help you deal with this. For me, private therapy was a godsend. I finally learned how to set firm boundaries and stop enabling my daughter's bad behavior. It changed my life and my daughter's, too. Once my husband and I learned how to stop giving into our daughter's threats and manipulation, she got better. She went back into treatment followed by a year long stay in a sober living program and has been sober for almost two years. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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