So, as I'm posting tonight....

[flutterbee]

It hit me that everything I'm posting about sounds so negative.

I had kinda hit my limit which makes me irritable and frustrated and cranky so I laid low for a few days. Not just on here, but in real life, too. You know, just how *everything* seems to set your teeth on edge?

Apparently, it's not out of my system yet. Hmmmm....going to have to work on that. I really don't care to drag that around with me. I really don't care for how it makes me feel.

 

[trinityroyal]

sending positive vibes your way, to help get you out of the doldrums.

 

[Andy]

A saying on the adolescent walls in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) I work at:

"You can come as you are, but you can not leave as you came." (or something to that effect)

Come downhearted and negative - we all understand - have been there so many times myself. When I was younger before difficult child days, I was living with an aunt and uncle on my crabby days they would say, "What is wrong with you?" My reply, "A little bit of everything and a whole lot of nothing." I wish I had those days back again. Wouldn't it be wonderful to actually have nothing to be negative about?

So, come as you are but how can you not leave feeling a little better!

Hope tommorrow is better.

 

[totoro]

My mother in law is the ever Optimistic Annie!!! My father in law (divorced) is Mister Downer Dan...
My mother in law is the type that no matter what, Kendall can be manic and talking suicide... husband and I will be having a long slump of things... not much to feel good about. Know what I mean??
She always has some dumb story about someone else's mis-fortune... and then ends it with, "Makes you realize how good WE have it..."
husband and I always joke how we just want to say to her, "NO we have it worse, let us just feel bad for what is going on!!!"
She is one of those phoney, positives... "Always look at the bright side, at least you are alive"
Yeah, OK...
And then father in law is the opposite everything is horrible!!! LOL Anything that can go wrong to him will. He has the "Why bother it will only go wrong" attitude... Nothing ever goes right in my life.
You just want to slap him and say, "Things do not s-uck that bad!!!" Honestly... and they don't, not for him. Not perfect, but not THE worst. Mostly his attitude.

It is hard to be in the middle... the perfect mix.
We have a friend who we call "Golden Boy" he has had a blessed life, husband has known him since they were pretty young, He even just had triplets. Over 8 weeks preemie... he had such a positive attitude. They will be fine, no stress. They are. He always has the, all will work out and be fine attitude.
I wish I could be just SO positive like him at times. But that is just not me.

I am not like my mother in law or so negative like my father in law....
I don't think you are SO negative on the board Heather. I think you are getting out stuff that maybe would drag you down if you let it build up. I think you are doing well by being honest with yourself, about you feelings and attitude.
That is the only way to start... maybe if you were sitting around your house just letting it build up and stewing?
I think you have a good positive outlook that is realistic.
You have gone through and been through a LOT in the past couple years. Go easy on yourself... None of us would be here if we were "Golden Girls/Boys"

 

[witzend]

Hey, you know that you're letting yourself get in a rut of negative thinking. That's the first step out of the rut! Keep your eyes open, the good things in life are out there just waiting for you to see them.

 

[Wiped Out]

Interesting you wrote about this-your not alone. I've been feeling the same way about me lately. I'm usually a much more positive person but lately it seems I'm having a hard time finding the positives. Sending positive vibes your way!

 

[timer lady]

Sometimes there is nothing positive going on....we've all been there. Heck, earlier this year I felt if one more bad thing happened I'd run stark raving mad into a busy street hoping a bus would hit me.

Guess what, I can't run that fast with a walker! Okay, can't run at all. Bad idea!

The "negatives" aren't "negatives" it's just the ups & downs in your life. Life has cycles of ups & downs. Some of those cycles of life just happen to last longer than others or are more uncomfortable.

I started looking for any little thing to make me smile or lessen the discomfort, if you will, of the moment. It didn't matter what it took. Most of the time I could find the humor amidst the garbage.

However, I've had to pull back & determine what I could change, what I couldn't change & accept the unchangeable. It hasn't been easy & it's an ever evolving process.

There are days when I hide because I feel I have nothing positive to add. I won't answer the phone, I speak minimally with my family & I won't call friends. I then journal, paint or something else that helps me recenter myself.

There is nothing wrong with coming here to vent ~ that is partly why this site exists. Many of us get stuck ~ that's human. Forgive yourself for being human. You will find your way out the other end.

 

[flutterbee]

Well, it's not going to get better anytime soon.

Just got off the phone with the insurance. Even though the other driver was cited, went to court and was found guilty and paid a fine, his insurance company is denying liability.

So now my insurance company is involved and they can't believe the other company is flat out denying the claim. I'm pretty confident my insurance will handle it, but I'm pretty sure it's going to go to arbitration because the other insurance company is digging in their heels. I'm thinking the other driver only had liability on his car and his car it totaled, too. The other insurance company is trying to say that their driver was lost and so that negates liability. My agent laughed when they told him that. He's just astounded. I'm just beyond annoyed.

Another option we have is to take the other driver to small claims court and if we win a judgment, then his insurance will have to pay. We're not looking at injuries here (at least on our side). Only compensation for the property damage.

Sometimes I think it's a really good thing that I don't own a gun.

 

[Andy]

I bet I can guess the name of that insurance company. My sister and her husband were in an accident a few years ago. Some lady ran a stop sign, totaled my sister's car putting both my sister and her husband in the hospital for over a week. When she got home, there were messages from almost every day from the insurance company of the person who caused the accident wanting my sister to settle ASAP. The insurance company also wanted my sister to get them there paperwork (police reports, ect.) I told her don't you dare - that is public record and the company can spend their time getting there own reports. I also told her she can obtain the records for herself. They didn't want to wait until my sister figured out the true total of harm done. When their agent finally got hold of her, she would say, "I am in so much pain right now, you need to wait until everything settles down and we know what our future holds." Brother in law was off work 6 months facing future surgeries and sister returned way before she should have because hers were internal injuries that no one saw. Worker's comp asked why she wasn't back to work, "Because I can not sit or stand or move." But, she went back anyway.

I think insurance companies automatically refuse payment hoping most people will not have the money, time, or know how to hold them accountable for their actions.

 

[Nomad]

I can relate to these thoughts. And I too know people that have great resiliance and others where it doesn't take much to get them down. Generally, I fall some where in between...although I'm getting stronger. It seems normal to me to react when life all around you is going bonkers. I am learning that especially with difficult child stress, I have to take a breather. Lay low. Enjoy the good in life as best as I am able. I think this IS the healthy thing to do. AND when we do these types of things, our energy will return to us quicker.

 

[Star*]

Well I know how you feel.......and sometimes I think if I just had a hiccup in my Karma life would get back to what I perceive as normal.

And there are those days when -If I did have a magic wand and mystical powers - toads would be hopping all over stores and you would see 1,000 buttholes driving down the highway. Just because. And some days - you'd see lots and lots of donkeys because while I'm not in the habit of cursing - Jack(@$$) may slip out - and if I had a wand ? Well we certainly would need a lot more farms.

Hope it gets better for you (passes magic wand to Heather)

Hugs
Star

 

[Abbey]

Let your insurance company handle it. They do NOT want to lose money. Don't deal with the other driver in any way.

I'm in the same boat now. My insurance company asked her to produce photos of the 'tramatic' accident which she was injured (under 1 mph) and she has yet to do it. I was in a flipping drive through at Taco Bell. It's not like I was in a race to get to the window. I was just searching for change and let me foot off the brake to a SLOOOOOW rear-ender. One inch dent. Nothing on my car. Yep...take some photos lady.

Abbey

 

[flutterbee]

The small claims court is only an option if things don't go so well with the insurance. According to my agent...well, he can't believe the other insurance has denied liability. He doesn't believe for a second it will hold up.

Since it wasn't our car, there are 3 insurance companies involved....the other driver, mine and the owner of the car that Devon was driving. Right now, my insurance and the car owner's insurance are trying to figure out how involved my insurance should be. Something about the car being insured, not the person...even though we're insured on any car we drive. It's making my head hurt.

And if it ends up that mine isn't that involved....well, I don't have a lot of faith in the car owner's insurance adjuster.

The other driver is lying. Fortunately, we have pictures from the accident scene and his story doesn't match where the cars ended up. Everyone - including my agent - that has seen the pictures sees that right away.

This is going to end up being a long, drawn out process. I don't believe Devon will be found liable for the accident (my adjuster says if that happens he will lose all faith in the system), but it's just such a hassle.