So disappointing to take him to the Doctor...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Chaosuncontained, Nov 9, 2011.

  1. Chaosuncontained

    Chaosuncontained New Member

    for one of his "check ups" and have to tell him that I can't really see a difference since Risperdone was added. The only difference I see is that in the last few weeks he went from 65 pounds to 69 pounds. His butt is getting huge.

    One of his teachers told me yesterday, all excited, that "he is so much more alert in class, but I still can't get him to WRITE ANYTHING!" I had to remind her that him being alert is because he GOT USED to the medicine...but his behavior is still there. At least he hasn't been to see the Principal lately.

    He was very socially inappropriate at a football game and at a basketball game we went to. VERY loud. Wanting to get out of his seat constantly to get something from the snack bar, go to the bathroom, sit by a step sister, laying all over me one minute and yelling at me the next (I'm gonna die..I need something to eat. You are STRAVING me to death!!--all after he got nochos and a bag of popcorn--AFTER eating a hot dog before we left home).

    And yesterday, while picking him up from school, another boy was sitting in the floor in the hallway crying because the school library was already closed. Carson sat beside him and rubbed his back and his head, trying to soothe him. He probably tried to strangle this same boy earlier in the year. I know it was sweet of him but it seems he is either angry and inappropriate or sweet and inappropriate. No other boy (aged 9) in his class would have been caught dead rubbing the head of another boy who was crying.

    More and more I am suspecting Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)...
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I'm sorry to hear abt the medication and it sounds like it might be adding problems if he is so hungry and demanding of so much food. My difficult child can't function if hungry. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is certainly a possibility. You know, one of our neighbors, a kid in 6th grade and a easy child who just is nice to Q was rubbing his back while outside on our patio when he was starting to fall apart before we had to call the ambulance. I know there are appropriate ways to do so...and maybe the tone and type of comforting was different but I thought I'd share that some boys might try to comfort a peer. And certainly it is a combination of issues that causes concern so pls don't think I'm discounting anything ...just a story that might make that particular behavior not as worrisome.
    I surely hope you get more answers soon. Hugs and luv, Buddy
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Yes, I too did feel when I read your post "well, that was a nice thing to have done whether 'normal' or not" and I would like to think that a courageous and loving easy child, even at the grand old age of 9, might rub a friend's back and head to comfort him...
    Of course you are worried about the rest. My son often stands out in a kind of "embarrassing" way in social settings (through being so loud and rambunctious) so I empathise...
  4. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    How much Risperdal is he on? Can they increase his dose? Although Risperdal does what you are talking about - give them this insatiable appetite that is so intense it becomes combative if they don't get their snacks. Talk about embarrassing - going out to dinner with family with a difficult child on Risperdal!!! "Yes can I have 9 orders of garlic sticks please?" "Oh and 2 hamburgers, and a milkshake." "Oh and add bacon to the burger." Sigh.........

    Maybe it is time you look on mood stabilizer medications? Rather than just an AP?

    It does sound a lot like AS - his lack of boundaries especially. When he is loving, he doesn't know when to stop - and vice a versa. I used to make Matt use the imaginary circle know where you draw one around yourself and the kid has to ask permission to enter it.
  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    medications won't cure inappropriate stuff, just might slow him down enough to think before he acts. Sounds like the only effect he's getting from the medication is the weight increase. How long has he been on it?
  6. Chaosuncontained

    Chaosuncontained New Member

    He is currently taking two 0.5 of the Respirdone. He started taking it on October 5th.

    We just got back from the doctor (umm, he gained 6 pounds in 6 weeks). He one of the shortest kids in his class (always was a lil peanut).

    Me and the doctor decided we weren't going to go up anymore right now. Basically the doctor said we are really at a stan still with the medications. Nothing we can throw at him is going to take care of his inability to write, his socially inappropriate actions or his "way of just BEING". Both he and I suspect Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and a Learning Disability (LD) (writing).

    doctor wants him to see a Psycologist (I do too). But my bleepity-bleep, bleep BLEEP ex husband has the insurance policy, he pays for medications and he pays all copays. I have been after him since 9/11 to do the necessary research through his insurance carrier to find a Psycologist. He has given me every excuse in the book. His favorite is "I call the insurance company and I'm on hold for 20 minutes--and then I hang up. I'll try calling them again tomorrow". I think it is probably LAZINESS on his part as well as the fact that he isn't going to want to pay that $40 copay. I can't do it--he and his wife have his insurance plan blocked, you have to have a security code to get info.


    I thought seriously about just making him an apointment with ANY doctor and making him pay the ridiculous bill--but I can't afford to do that. Plus he would never pay for it if I did that anyway. So I keep calling him every other day...
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2011
  7. keista

    keista New Member

    Me too.

    Have you identified any specific sensory issues with him? Noise is a big one for my kids. Football games are noisy. The constant movement could be him trying to "get away from" all the noise, knowing that he's really not allowed to.

    I'm sorry your ExH is being such a boob.
  8. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Would you be willing to have a lawyer start paperwork to light a fire under ex about getting help for your son?
    In the meantime, can school, CPS, etc., provide any extra support, wrap services, anything?
  9. Chaosuncontained

    Chaosuncontained New Member

    Keista, I don't think it is a noise thing with him. Often we have 7 kids here. The noise doesn't bother him...a matter of fact he LOVES loud chaos sometimes. Even in church he is a fuss budget. We sit in the upstairs, on the back row, because he is so wiggly/laying in my lap/wanting to get up and get a drink or use the restroom/whispering loudly. Basically like a 3 year old.

    HaoZi, Can't afford a lawyer or I would have gone for full custody already. I had asked him to take him OFF his insurance, let me have say over his insurance, I could AT LEAST get him on Medicaid and get him a doctor and an appointment. No go. And I am embarassed to say that I have no idea how to get services for him (what could CPS do? and what is wrap services?).
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Do you have the insurance numbers? Why does he have to call? Just wondering if you can just call and say what you want and not even let them know there is any conflict between you and x? I have no idea how that works so may be totally unrealistic to suggest that, it was just a thought. I usually just get a referral from our doctor or just call a place and they get all the info from the source.

    I would call your county social services dept. Tell them you are interested in case management (It is not child protective services, it is different, sometimes social workers sometimes public health nurses do the case management) for a child with developmental disabilities. Explain that he is in need of therapy and medical care that your insurance is not fully covering and you need help finding resources and funding. Most states and counties have these departments to some extent. Each county and state is different in how much funding they have and how they use those services, but it is a start.

    I think that a call to cps, people are thinking it might light a fire under the above kinds of services because they identify kids at more risk. You husband not getting the medical care is medical negect. That is a cps issue in my humble opinion.

    You have so much to sort through and so much to dance around, keep up the good work, you are a wonderful mom.